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Major Break up problem please help!

I really need some help with this issue which has been stressing me out for months, and its recently took off!
So I was dating this guy for over a year, i'd known him for 6 years prior and we got on amazing at first it was pretty much perfect! Obviously we had out ups and downs but I feel quickly in love with him.. as he did with me. I lost my virginity to him. He's my best friend.

I did say it was perfect, i only had 2 real issues with him but I still loved him.. My best friend and basically all my friends hated him! Thought I could do way better and him and my best friend always argued.
As the months progressed I started to notice weird things about him.. He would get very jealous, possessive and creepy. He would tell me what to wear, who to talk to etc
We both went off to voluntary service trips to after so i didn't see him for a month. We thought this would help our relationship get better as we'd had been arguing loads. I started talking to guys again, as I never did when I was back home with him, I got on well and felt happy again talking more freely to people! When I got back he got really jealous which made things so much worse.

We still continued to argue and deep down we both knew it wasn't working, but we still loved each other.
He then openly admitted to me that he stalks me, he had created many accounts just to check out what I was up to for example instagram. Slowly I started to fall out of love with him, he still continued his creepy ways for example he worked out the percentage of his life he has spent in a relationship with me.. Weird right?!

So I had started back in my second year of college and we had just had our 12 month anniversary. After a few weeks I started seeing the people I met out on my voluntary trip around college. And there's one guy I quite like. Still arguing I decided it was time to end it.

He didn't take it well at all, he cried and begged.
I cried a lot too which surprised me, I was scared of change and being alone.. I just wanted to get on with my college work and focus on uni etc! I realised that I was still only slightly in love with him, but mainly I was in love with the old us, back when we got along! So i came to terms and accepted that we had good memories but we both need to get along with education.. We would of split up for uni anyways.

So he now calls me crying all the time and he now thinks there's a possibility that we could get back together again, which is wrong..
We had a concert planned in advance and I still want to go with him.. He's still my best friend, I still care about him loads and he still never fails to make me laugh. I just don't love him anymore.. But he sees it as an opportunity to get back together.

I don't want to be too hard on him, but I need to set things straight..
I mean it broke my heart for him to tell me he had cut himself (he had shown me proof) how can I firm with him when I've just had that thrown at me?!
I have told him to pull himself together but I feel bad, which I shouldn't, I care about him loads but i'm still sticking with my gut and I feels its right to break up. He had hurt me loads and it wasnt working and it was very stressful. He hardly had time for each other!

Please share any advice or views on this!
I feel quite alone as my friends hate him and don't give any sympathy.

Thanks xo

Reply 1

dvincent1990

You need to be a bit selfish and do whats right for you. NEVER stay with someone just because you feel sorry for them or you fear upsetting them because in the end, if you feel this way now, it will never get better trust me! Honesty is the best thing because if you tell white lies to try to ease his pain, they always come back to bite you at a later date. I think its best you both have a bit of space from each other with minimal contact to give him time to get used to the idea of being single, especially if he is obsessive and your talking to other people. Just remember that it won't be just you moving on with your life, eventually he will meet someone and I'm pretty sure your future partners will not be happy having you two as best friends.

Reply 2

username155270

You have to cutt all ties with him.

What makes you think its okay to go to this concert with him? Your giving him false hope. In order for him to move on ( that's what you really want, right?) you HAVE to put your foot down and cut all contact with him. For his sake, he's not taking it well at all and by u giving him false hope...that's not really fair.

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