I know this will sound kinda stupid because the likelihood of anyone being able to fully understand my feelings is low but hey ho, dunno what else to do
Basically I 'm really good friends with this guy. We've become really close and I enjoy our friendship. It's a new thing for me because I've never really met anyone who is so much like me. He's basically the male version of me which I like but hate at the same time if you get me.
He's a really nice guy, I guess or he was when I first become friends with him (about a year ago) but since then puberty has done him a few favours and he's become really big headed and egotistical about his looks because his of his friends. I don't personally think he's attractive. I love his personality or what his personality was at the beginning. He trusts me a lot I feel and tells me about how he feels like he has to be more of a ******** to be respected in his social circle because he thinks he's moist. I like moist people and the more I try and convince him he doesn't have to change. The more he feels like i'm lying to him.
The thing is I think about him all the time. I dunno if I like him. I think about some of the stuff he has said and it makes me smile. I look foreward to see him everyday. the thing is though, when I do see him, I feel nothing. Like genuinely nothing. A lot of the time I just don't want to talk to him. But then as soon as he leaves I want him to come back. We have quite a banterous relationship so I'm rarely nice to him which is horrible on my part but despite this, he is always so nice to me. People have told me he likes me but he's kinda shy with the whole girl thing as he has no experience.
I would ask him out. It's just i'm not sure if I actually like him like that and I don't want to lose a friend. Especially one who knows me so well. So essentially what I'm asking in a very long-winded and way,And well done if you've read this far, is if I like him. And should I ask him out?
And also is it weird that I think about him constantly when he's not there but don't care when he is? Maybe I'm in love with the idea not him. I don't know....
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