Turn on thread page Beta
    • Thread Starter
    Offline

    4
    ReputationRep:
    OK, I'm 17, male and currently at sixth form. Anyway, I used to be friends with this girl. She got ditched by her old friends, so I tried to help her by inviting her to join me and my friends at lunch and our days out. Eventually, she joined our friendship group. However, as time went by, she started to get on my nerves and treated me like dirt. She would take do things like take my seat at lunch, exclude me from conversations and started saying bad things about one of my best friends (who wasn't in the group).

    Anyway, I had a get together of friends after a party, I didn't invite this girl because she smokes and she has a habit to be quite extreme, so I didn't want my house to be trashed. I was only 10 friends anyway, so I kept it that and explained it to the girl. However, she started telling all of my friends she wasn't invited on purpose and that I was purposely excluding her. My friends overlooked this and told me and I was a bit upset by it.

    A couple of weeks after this, she had a party. She kept boasting how her food/drink was going to be better than mine, but then she tells us all an hour before the party we have to bring the food for her! And she somehow made me wash her dishes for her, while she and her friends watched TV.

    I finally snapped when she upset my friends. My friend had a bad experience with a guy, and she told us all in confidence, but this girl decided to go and tell the same guy it was about. My friend was so upset and I told the girl she shouldn't hang around with us anymore, since it's too much drama. I tried my best not to get too angry and used lot's of 'I feel...' statements etc. She then said I was hurtful and a bad friend, but she left our group and things got easier. And she went to college, so I didn't see her at all.

    However, she has decided to come visit my friends again during the sports classes and it's just so awkward having her there, she deliberately talks to whoever I'm next to, so I have no one to talk to. I thought we ended this on civil terms, but she had been calling me all sorts of names and spreading rumours about me, which I didn't know about until my friends told me. She's been labelling me gay and a ***, as well as a ***** and d**khead. I felt really down but I have had enough of her coming into my life and creating tension.

    What can I do? Should I tell the school that she isn't meant to be here? Or should I confront her? Or just ignore her? I feel incredibly angry and I would happily fight back, but I need to have a perfect record to get into university and I know it's wrong to do so as well. Sorry this question is so long, and thanks in advance for any answers.
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    Well, it sounds like you've had a bad time with this girl recently, and well, altogether really
    In all honesty, the short answer is, you must tell the school, or at least tell a friend so that if you cant tell the school, maybe they can, or maybe they can go up with you to see someone. If you were to confront her, she'd most likely take it the wrong way and tell the school, therefore you'd have a bad record and you could kiss goodbye to University. We don't want that to happen now do we? :confused:
    So, tell your school. You don't deserve what shes doing to you, the way she's treated you is honestly not acceptable. I wouldn't want anyone treated that way. You must feel so bad about yourself

    I'm also here to talk, and for any other form of assistance.
    Thanks for writing here today! Don't suffer alone
    Offline

    3
    ReputationRep:
    Exclude her from your life completely, she's obviously a bad influence towards you and your friends and is making you all suffer in the circle of friendship. There is probably a good reason why her old friends ditched her, the way she portrayed herself with her personality and characteristics is also reflecting on you and friends to make you all feel like you're not important. Why should you continue to involve a person who is not worthy of your company and generosity? You can also report her to the school, because the amount of vulgar language is abusing you and your friends emotionally and her physical actions as well. Don't proceed to waste your time on this girl.


    Posted from TSR Mobile
    Offline

    14
    ReputationRep:
    I'm sorry to hear you're going through this. Definitely tell someone, whether it's a friend or a member of staff at school. If she's always been like this, then it's no wonder she'd been ditched. You don't need toxic people like this in your life. You sound like a nice person. Keep your chin up, and don't have her in your life anymore, she's not worth it.

    All the best.
    Offline

    4
    ReputationRep:
    no wonder she was ditched by her other friends. Just ignore her, she can't damage you because your friends already know she's a liar and a b*tch. It won't last forever, just wait it out and move on
    • Welcome Squad
    Offline

    14
    ReputationRep:
    Welcome Squad
    OP, did you like her previously and feel sorry for having listened too much to your friends rather than your heart ? Some ppl come with emotional baggage and its difficult to understand them. Maybe she didn't like your friends, and quite frankly speaking if I disliked a guy and told this to a couple of ppl I tht were my friends, and my friends went and told him, I wouldn't sit at home and cry about it, I would tell him to "go ***k himself" everytime I would see him - I don't give a damn everyone knows what was only a secret because it was sth about my friends I only wanted to share with mates! But that's just me, ppl are different!

    Maybe she feels sorry for having broken up the friendship and now wants you back but your not interested in having any of it, because you can't get over her behaviour towards you and your friends. I say, add some perspective here and think if she is worth the trouble and speak to her about it, don't complain to the school when she is just hanging around you! You seem unable to be able to even deal with the idea of the sight of her, even though all she really did was rat out your friends' secret and yes, sometimes act very rude towards you! I mean, friends often fight, its no biggie :yy:!
    • Thread Starter
    Offline

    4
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Fashion Girl)
    OP, did you like her previously and feel sorry for having listened too much to your friends rather than your heart ? Some ppl come with emotional baggage and its difficult to understand them. Maybe she didn't like your friends, and quite frankly speaking if I disliked a guy and told this to a couple of ppl I tht were my friends, and my friends went and told him, I wouldn't sit at home and cry about it, I would tell him to "go ***k himself" everytime I would see him - I don't give a damn everyone knows what was only a secret because it was sth about my friends I only wanted to share with mates! But that's just me, ppl are different!

    Maybe she feels sorry for having broken up the friendship and now wants you back but your not interested in having any of it, because you can't get over her behaviour towards you and your friends. I say, add some perspective here and think if she is worth the trouble and speak to her about it, don't complain to the school when she is just hanging around you! You seem unable to be able to even deal with the idea of the sight of her, even though all she really did was rat out your friends' secret and yes, sometimes act very rude towards you! I mean, friends often fight, its no biggie :yy:!
    I understand that perspective is needed here. I originally decided to be friends with her because I felt sorry for her. I heard a lot of bad things about her, but I don't like to listen to rumours without experience myself. The thing is she liked my friends, and once I introduced her to them she started joining our group. I was happy that she settled in, but then she turned on me and so I was forced out of my friendship group, because she kept trying to exclude me out of conversations and would take my seat (even if it was saved) meaning I had to sit on my own or find other friends. It got to the point where she was claiming she knew all my friends better than I did and that I needed to move on. I felt extremely excluded, especially when she started sending me messages and photos specifically to me about how she's hanging out with my friends and was 'having the best time ever'. Everytime I did manage to go out with my friends and her, she'd say how boring it was and that the times (when I hadn't been around) were way much fun. And it just really irritated me when she started trying to make my friends hate me, but my friends knew I hadn't done anything wrong and so they told me. With school, she isn't meant to be there and she started hiding my sports equipment and bag while she sits and smokes. She doesn't talk to me at all and that's why it's awkward. I just want her to go away and move on, it's too childish for me.
    Offline

    20
    With gloves.
    • Welcome Squad
    Offline

    14
    ReputationRep:
    Welcome Squad
    (Original post by serebro)
    I understand that perspective is needed here. I originally decided to be friends with her because I felt sorry for her. I heard a lot of bad things about her, but I don't like to listen to rumours without experience myself. The thing is she liked my friends, and once I introduced her to them she started joining our group. I was happy that she settled in, but then she turned on me and so I was forced out of my friendship group, because she kept trying to exclude me out of conversations and would take my seat (even if it was saved) meaning I had to sit on my own or find other friends. It got to the point where she was claiming she knew all my friends better than I did and that I needed to move on. I felt extremely excluded, especially when she started sending me messages and photos specifically to me about how she's hanging out with my friends and was 'having the best time ever'. Everytime I did manage to go out with my friends and her, she'd say how boring it was and that the times (when I hadn't been around) were way much fun. And it just really irritated me when she started trying to make my friends hate me, but my friends knew I hadn't done anything wrong and so they told me. With school, she isn't meant to be there and she started hiding my sports equipment and bag while she sits and smokes. She doesn't talk to me at all and that's why it's awkward. I just want her to go away and move on, it's too childish for me.
    Oh dear! She doesn't sound pleasant at all ! Forget the advice I gave previously and just tell her to please not bother you, and if she doesn't listen then yes I suppose you could mention to someone you have an intruder in your school!
 
 
 
Reply
Submit reply
Turn on thread page Beta
TSR Support Team

We have a brilliant team of more than 60 Support Team members looking after discussions on The Student Room, helping to make it a fun, safe and useful place to hang out.

Updated: October 12, 2013
Poll
Black Friday: Yay or Nay?
Useful resources

The Student Room, Get Revising and Marked by Teachers are trading names of The Student Room Group Ltd.

Register Number: 04666380 (England and Wales), VAT No. 806 8067 22 Registered Office: International House, Queens Road, Brighton, BN1 3XE

Write a reply...
Reply
Hide
Reputation gems: You get these gems as you gain rep from other members for making good contributions and giving helpful advice.