I am Really Confused, Totaly Lost Judgement

Well for those who have kept up with my other posts this is all related.

My previous relationship of a year was really bad. I was in a one way relationship which involved allot of confusion, hurt and betrayal. In the end because I was too blind to see, I was dumped for it.

So ive met a new girl in the past 2 months. When im around her most of the time I am very happy and we get on so well.
Problems -
1. She is engaged to another guy who she keeps in contact with everyday over the phone. She is not in love with him but cares for him but does not want to marry him. The reason she hasnt broken it off is because all her family know about it and they all love him as hes a family relative and because of culture she is finding it hard to get out of.

2. She has a best guy friend. They email and text nearly every day and talk about religious stuff. She once developed feelings for him while she was away on holiday away from the town where he is located but when she got back the guy became cold and she was left confused.
She also dreamt about him and her having a passionate kiss and told him about it.
She pushes him away 'according to her' when he indirectly trys to ger her to talk about the dream in more detail or flirts. Recently hes been trying to get wth her and although she still meets him and stuff, she said 'hes nothing more then a best friend now and trust me when I say this, I even told him I wanted to adopt him'.

3. Fathers expectations - before she got enagged (1 year back) she was in contact with this guy through phone and net and she didnt get the grades she wanted so her dad was really dissapointed in her and blamed her and the guy. Since then she got into uni in UK (overseas student) and is studying in will be in her final year for a degree she didnt really want to do. She wants to try and impress her father and not screw up anymore.

She has just left (yesterday) back to her home country. She cried and was emotional when saying by to her female friend and guy best friend.
The guy mate apparatnly still has feelings for her and said I got somthing to tell you but I will tell you when the time is right. She asked him a few times what it was and he didnt answer. Just ebfore she left she asked a final time and added is it to do with me 'he looked at her and smiled and remained silent'. So dont know whats going on there.

I met her in Heathrow and she mentioned it was hard saying bye to them.
With me she was talking to me and stuff but I dunno if she didnt show any sadness because she was with a group or because she didnt have them feelings.
She gave me a hug before she left and while she did she said oh look I have to tip toe (as shes shorter then me). While she was going in to the departure lounge, I moved to the side and she turned her back to find me and then she spotted me on the side and was saying 'yeah, I thought u had gone' laughing.

She has said she wants to be with me when she is back and has enjoyed herself with me but needs to find a balanace with her finace. Shes looking for a way to end it but right now she cant see one. She said hopeflly with more time with me we can both work on it. I dont think shes in love with me and shes a kind of girl I need to be around much more to make an impact.

While shes gone she left one suitcase and her laptop with me. She wanted to give the laptop to her best guy mate but I asked for it and after I persuaded her she still wanted to give it to her guy mate but because I got fed up of the priority I just said it in a firm way so she gave it to me.

Reply 1

guitar_guru

When youre around her youre happy and you get on well.. but only go for this if you are totally serious about your feelings for this girl. It sounds as though there are a lot of difficulties you will face in a relationship with her. If you want it to work out with her then go or it.

Also towards the end you seem to be saying you basically forced her to give u her laptop.. wht relevance does this have??

Reply 2

Anonymous #2

okay look you ovesly like this girl so go ahead and tell her, i mean develope the conversation however think before you go ahead, will this realtionship be like the last one you had??? and if no then go for it
good luck!!!!!!!!!!!

Reply 3

Anonymous #1

OP

guitar_guru

When youre around her youre happy and you get on well.. but only go for this if you are totally serious about your feelings for this girl. It sounds as though there are a lot of difficulties you will face in a relationship with her. If you want it to work out with her then go or it.

Also towards the end you seem to be saying you basically forced her to give u her laptop.. wht relevance does this have??

We are already going out for a month and we have even slept together.
My point being about the laptop as she still priortises her best guy mate who im sure she has feelings for over me.

I am Really Confused, Totaly Lost Judgement

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