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Anybody else get upset at how many people their partners have been with ? watch

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    Im really struggling to get over how many woman my boyfriend has been with . We've been together 2 years so I don't understand why it bothers me but it does a lot. I always feel like ill be compared and that im ugly in comparison or he'd prefer them better.

    The thing that really bothers me are his one nibht stands and casual sex I just find it hard to think hed go to clubs and do that and I guess part of me worries hell want to it again and get bored of me. I know im being paranoid but does anybody else get upset at how many people their partner has slept with or is it just me?
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    If I ever get a boyfriend, I think I would be upset if he'd "been around" a lot. I'd prefer it if he was a virgin, or had minimal sexual encounters.
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    My girlfriend only had intercourse with one other guy before me, but she tells me other things happened with other guys. I've had more partners than she has but it is still unpleasant to think about your partner doing intimate things with someone else. All I can say is just try not to think about it.
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    It doesn't bother me at all. In most adult relationships you can almost guarantee that your partner will have a sexual history, but that's the key word...history. Your boyfriend wants to be with you, so try not to worry about other people he's been with in the past
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    Honestly, you've been together for 2 years, he would go out clubbing and pulling if he didn't want to be with you. So because he is in a relationship with you, I'd say he's over his casual sex phase
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    This is why you don't talk about the past when you get into a new relationship.
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    In my longer-term relationships where it's been discussed, I've tended to be the one who has had the most partners and it is a bit annoying to have my faithfulness questioned. In terms of jealousy it's a bit irrational since someone who has been with one person for three years has probably had much more sex and done much more things than someone who has had a lot of shorter relationships over the same time.

    My girlfriend now has had a lot of partners, much more than me, and it genuinely doesn't bother me. I can see why it might though if I had had very few. Even then, I like to think I'd recognise that that's my own insecurities and that if she chooses to be with me then I can take that to mean she wants to be with me.

    Most people have a history and those who have had a lot of partners in the past and are looking to settle down are probably quite sincere about it. You can't change the past so if it bothers you just try not to think about it. There isn't a magic cure to jealousy, you simply try to avoid thinking about it, and if you can't then you have to move on.
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    Thankyou for your replies, I think the fact I was a virgin when I got with him and hes my first everything means I feel this way maybe if I had had a few partners too I wouldn't be feeling like this.
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    I think I should quote John Green here when asked this question,
    "It's such a weird thing to care about. Like, image if I started eating Cheerios for breakfast, would Cheerios be like 'I'm the 48th cereal you've tried eating?! I don't feel special!' Well then screw you Cheerios, I can't go into the past and un-eat all those cereals, but that doesn't mean I don't genuinely enjoy your whole grain crunch" This pretty much sums up my feelings on the matter.
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    Used to, but then I got over it.
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    (Original post by katiek-)
    It doesn't bother me at all. In most adult relationships you can almost guarantee that your partner will have a sexual history, but that's the key word...history. Your boyfriend wants to be with you, so try not to worry about other people he's been with in the past
    pretty much this tbh.
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    I dont even think about it tbh.

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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Thankyou for your replies, I think the fact I was a virgin when I got with him and hes my first everything means I feel this way maybe if I had had a few partners too I wouldn't be feeling like this.
    As a guy in a similar relationship on the other side, I don't think it should be a concern. He's had the single life and he prefers you. If relationships weren't for him, he wouldn't have lasted two years. Is clubbing and pulling lots of fun? Sure. Does it compare to a loving relationship? Not really. I don't think it's at all likely a guy would break up a happy relationship just to have more casual stuff.
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    (Original post by Maid Marian)
    If I ever get a boyfriend, I think I would be upset if he'd "been around" a lot. I'd prefer it if he was a virgin, or had minimal sexual encounters.
    If you're going out with him you find him attractive. If you want to be sleeping with him presumably you hope that he won't be someone who's holding on for marriage. In such circumstances do you not think it's quite likely that someone in the past may also have found him attractive, he reciprocated and thus they had sex? Unless you have particularly unusual taste in men (clinically obese crackheads maybe) which means you'd think it unlikely anyone else will have fancied them.
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    My boyfriend and I just never really spoke about this.

    He'd had a girlfriend for 3 years before we got together, and I just assumed they had slept together. He knew I was a virgin so well, that was that. He's probably been with a few others but it doesn't bother me.

    Say you got a boyfriend/girlfriend at 28 or something, you would find it quite difficult to find a person without a past. It's just not going to happen really.
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    http://puu.sh/4Nj6m.png

    He's chosen you and been with you for two years. Even the most romantic people are capable of one night stands out of curiosity etc. If he was still interested in sleeping around/other people, I highly doubt he'd have entered into a relationship with you in the first place.
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    (Original post by loz957)
    My girlfriend only had intercourse with one other guy before me, but she tells me other things happened with other guys. I've had more partners than she has but it is still unpleasant to think about your partner doing intimate things with someone else. All I can say is just try not to think about it.
    lol, because Bjs dont count amirite? Or the ever wonderous "ONS dont count". Dont listen to women when it comes to sexual encounters, they're bigger liars than politicians.
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    (Original post by TSRgawdlike)
    lol, because Bjs dont count amirite? Or the ever wonderous "ONS dont count". Dont listen to women when it comes to sexual encounters, they're bigger liars than politicians.
    My female friend told me foreigners didn't count...
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    This is so hypocritical, I can't even...
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Thankyou for your replies, I think the fact I was a virgin when I got with him and hes my first everything means I feel this way maybe if I had had a few partners too I wouldn't be feeling like this.
    This is exactly how I feel with my boyfriend! We've only been together for 6months and i was hoping that the longer we're together, the less i'll think about it but right now I feel so paranoid that i'm not as good as his previous girlfriends.
 
 
 
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