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    I'm a 21 year old male virgin (in every sense of the word), and unfortunately these days my thoughts are starting to revolve a bit too much around relationships and sex.

    This is getting to me because I'm finding it difficult to just talk to girls like I'd talk to guys. Basically, I just want to make more friends, but whenever there's a girl in the group of people I'm sitting with, I want to go out of my way to talk to the girl - irrespective of how I get on with anyone else in the group. I'm not sure whether this is 100% a sexual thing or me wanting to add +1 to the (few) girls I know, but either way, I think it's affecting my ability to talk to girls and for this reason I think girls seem to try to avoid talking to me.

    So I was just wondering how most guys manage to not want to sleep with (or at least get romantically involved with) most girls they see? I'm fortunate enough to be doing well in life in most areas about from, well, friendships and relationships, so I'd appreciate any sort of advice as to how I can stop thinking too much into these things.
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    Whack it, then think about it.
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    (Original post by Ammish)
    Whack it, then think about it.
    Totally agree, can't think straight with the baby batter on the brain.
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    I'm a 23 year old male virgin (never kissed). My libido was all over the place between 17 and 21. It was very high. I didn't cope well. The worst thing about it was I never had anyone to confide in who was sharing the same problem of no sexual experience. You don't tell these things to people because it gives them ammunition to make fun of you and be generally dickish towards you. I had to cope with it on my own.

    At 22 things calmed down a little. At 23 my libido is low. If you remain a virgin for the next few years, you might experience what I did. Namely your sex drive drops at a certain age. Unforunately you have to get through the tough years of 17-21 where your sex drive is huge but you can't get any
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    Pretty normal male sentiments - even some girls feel this way too. The trick is to have some other rewarding pursuits - hobbies, drinking, even studying and to be a bit less indiscriminate in the girls you go after. Weigh it up before pouncing! I do understand though as I didn't lose it till after uni and it was a bloody frustrating 'water, water everywhere' experience. I do believe everything comes though to those who show tenacity. Keep at it.
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    (Original post by Bassetts)
    I'm a 23 year old male virgin (never kissed). My libido was all over the place between 17 and 21. It was very high. I didn't cope well. The worst thing about it was I never had anyone to confide in who was sharing the same problem of no sexual experience. You don't tell these things to people because it gives them ammunition to make fun of you and be generally dickish towards you. I had to cope with it on my own.

    At 22 things calmed down a little. At 23 my libido is low. If you remain a virgin for the next few years, you might experience what I did. Namely your sex drive drops at a certain age. Unforunately you have to get through the tough years of 17-21 where your sex drive is huge but you can't get any
    Bassets, is this really the case with you? I'm sorry to hear it, if it is . I am nearly 24 and until recently I was a virgin as well. Between the ages of 18 and 21 roughly speaking, I didn't even masturbate. This became really difficult towards the end of this period of celibacy. But I can't say I've experienced a drop in libido. I think it also depends if you actually have the hots for a real person and you're in a relationship with them. The stimulation you give each other in every way seems to re-awaken things which you either thought you'd lost or never knew you had.
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    Frequent, vigorous masturbation.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I'm a 21 year old male virgin (in every sense of the word), and unfortunately these days my thoughts are starting to revolve a bit too much around relationships and sex.

    This is getting to me because I'm finding it difficult to just talk to girls like I'd talk to guys. Basically, I just want to make more friends, but whenever there's a girl in the group of people I'm sitting with, I want to go out of my way to talk to the girl - irrespective of how I get on with anyone else in the group. I'm not sure whether this is 100% a sexual thing or me wanting to add +1 to the (few) girls I know, but either way, I think it's affecting my ability to talk to girls and for this reason I think girls seem to try to avoid talking to me.

    So I was just wondering how most guys manage to not want to sleep with (or at least get romantically involved with) most girls they see? I'm fortunate enough to be doing well in life in most areas about from, well, friendships and relationships, so I'd appreciate any sort of advice as to how I can stop thinking too much into these things.
    You could ask a medical practitioner for libido-suppressing medication but they are NOTORIOUSLY DIFFICULT to get hold of in England. I tried about a week ago but they are seriously unreasonable - in England you're not permitted to visit a sex worker/prostitute either so I can't understand why the medical authorities don't allow people to opt-in for libido-reducing medication.

    They seem pretty happy to prescribe medication that increases libido, but not the other way for some reason.

    I mean - either have a society which bans libido-suppressing medication but allows people to freely and legally visit prostitutes/sex workers with no implications for your career etc,..

    OR have a society which criminalizes people who use the services of sex workers/prostitutes BUT allows such people free access to libido-reducing medication,

    but NOT one where both visiting sex workers is criminalized AND where the authorities are notoriously intransigent/stubborn when it comes to prescribing people who wish to visit prostitutes libido-reducing drugs to reduce their desire to do so.
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    (Original post by ZuluJobo)
    Totally agree, can't think straight with the baby batter on the brain.
    Elaborate? :confused:
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    (Original post by effofex)
    You could ask a medical practitioner for libido-suppressing medication but they are NOTORIOUSLY DIFFICULT to get hold of in England. I tried about a week ago but they are seriously unreasonable - in England you're not permitted to visit a sex worker/prostitute either so I can't understand why the medical authorities don't allow people to opt-in for libido-reducing medication.

    They seem pretty happy to prescribe medication that increases libido, but not the other way for some reason.

    I mean - either have a society which bans libido-suppressing medication but allows people to freely and legally visit prostitutes/sex workers with no implications for your career etc,..

    OR have a society which criminalizes people who use the services of sex workers/prostitutes BUT allows such people free access to libido-reducing medication,

    but NOT one where both visiting sex workers is criminalized AND where the authorities are notoriously intransigent/stubborn when it comes to prescribing people who wish to visit prostitutes libido-reducing drugs to reduce their desire to do so.
    Do you think this is the reason why lots of sexually frustrated people go out binge drinking at the weekend (and students during the week) hoping to get laid? We are the biggest drinkers in Europe (possibly the world?).
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    (Original post by effofex)
    You could ask a medical practitioner for libido-suppressing medication but they are NOTORIOUSLY DIFFICULT to get hold of in England. I tried about a week ago but they are seriously unreasonable - in England you're not permitted to visit a sex worker/prostitute either so I can't understand why the medical authorities don't allow people to opt-in for libido-reducing medication.

    They seem pretty happy to prescribe medication that increases libido, but not the other way for some reason.

    I mean - either have a society which bans libido-suppressing medication but allows people to freely and legally visit prostitutes/sex workers with no implications for your career etc,..

    OR have a society which criminalizes people who use the services of sex workers/prostitutes BUT allows such people free access to libido-reducing medication,

    but NOT one where both visiting sex workers is criminalized AND where the authorities are notoriously intransigent/stubborn when it comes to prescribing people who wish to visit prostitutes libido-reducing drugs to reduce their desire to do so.
    They are encouraging you to use your right hand. :cool:
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    (Original post by Juichiro)
    Elaborate? :confused:
    It's a joke from the film There's Something About Mary about masturbating before dates to relieve sexual tension.
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    Thanks for the responses. Quite happy with the advice and insightful posts.

    (Original post by effofex)
    You could ask a medical practitioner for libido-suppressing medication but they are NOTORIOUSLY DIFFICULT to get hold of in England. I tried about a week ago but they are seriously unreasonable - in England you're not permitted to visit a sex worker/prostitute either so I can't understand why the medical authorities don't allow people to opt-in for libido-reducing medication.
    Interesting you say this - I was under the impression that prostitution itself was legal in the UK, but brothels were not?
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I was under the impression that prostitution itself was legal in the UK
    If only
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    (Original post by Scoobiedoobiedo)
    If only
    You've made me go off and do some research ;p

    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Prostit...United_Kingdom

    says:

    In the United Kingdom, prostitution itself (the exchange of sexual services for money) is legal,[2] but a number of related activities, including soliciting in a public place, kerb crawling, owning or managing a brothel, pimping and pandering, are crimes.
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    (Original post by Bassetts)
    Do you think this is the reason why lots of sexually frustrated people go out binge drinking at the weekend (and students during the week) hoping to get laid? We are the biggest drinkers in Europe (possibly the world?).
    Not sure about that. But I think it would be alot easier if there was free, legalized prostitution in England which didn't affect continued employment etc Makes for a happier population.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Thanks for the responses. Quite happy with the advice and insightful posts.



    Interesting you say this - I was under the impression that prostitution itself was legal in the UK, but brothels were not?
    It may be technically legal, but the reality is that if your employer finds out it can be grounds for dismissal.

    Whilst in the Netherlands visiting a sex worker is not considered news at all (unless you are a very well known politician who is married with children) in England it is. A 23 yr old single man with no children and no partner who gets caught in England is still likely to get cautioned or fined and if he works in a professional position (e.g. lawyer, trader, doctor, accountant, barrister) it could even be published in the papers.

    I think it's unreasonable - but ultimately they are your laws and your culture. I don't think it's a huge ask to politely request that libido-reducing pills like androcur, tamoxifen, soya supplements, lupron etc. are made available over the counter for those who don't want to be tempted by the above and become liable to being arrested/prosecuted as a result.
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    pfft if you REALLY want to lose it then just get an escort or something like that. I personally lost my virginity to a girl I liked and it was when I was 18 HOWEVER a couple mates have lost it to escorts and such. Don't regret it either, said it rid of the "burden" or the pressure of being a virgin and boosted their confidence.

    I'm not saying definitely do it or that it will solve all your problems but its an option.
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    Just keep masturbating I am a girl and also find it hard to keep my mind off it :P everything will work out eventually. Just let of some stream before you are going to be in any particularly girl heavy situations
 
 
 
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