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How to avoid crying at a funeral?? watch

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    Ok so its my grandmothers funeral next week we were really close etc she was basically a mother to me. The thing is I never cry in front of people (expecially family) Im very reserved so I wait until Im in a private place/no ones around. Theres no point saying oh its ok to cry and all that theres no point I just refuse completely to cry in front of people. However the funeral will be really hard as the last one I went to I wasnt even close to the person but had to try really hard not to cry. So I don't think I'l get through this one without doing so. Ive said to family that I prefere not to go as everyone grieves in their own way but they think it will be disrespectful so I'l consider pandering to their wims.

    Im thinking of ways to avoid crying though. Ive thought about earplugs or earphones to listen to music through (no one will know). I can record the service and listen it by myself at home Id much rather do this than with family anyway Im very private. Eitherway Im going to try something which will prevent me crying but I need some ideas....

    Btw don't tell me that its ok to cry and all that I dont want to hear it it just annoys me and is useless advice, all I want is any ideas on how not to cry in front of family...

    Unortunately I cant wear sunglasses its the middle of ocober.

    Thanks
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    Those damn onions...
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    I would advise you to pay attention to the service rather than watching it at home on your phone.

    My grandfather passed in June 2012. That was the last time I have cried, and the first time I cried for years. I went to a small room, saw my brother and we both just poured tears for 15 minutes. Before that and after that for hours we were fine.

    Try to keep it in, that's understandable but if you can't control it just go to the bathroom for a few minutes.

    Forget about pride, and how other people see you. It's your grandma your mourning, it's the final salute to her life.
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    (Original post by goonermk)
    Forget about pride, and how other people see you. It's your grandma your mourning, it's the final salute to her life.
    yeah, its someone who was very close to you. you can surley make an exception. Though admiitly, when my mother passed away i just walked straight to my dads car ahead of everyone else and had a breakdown when i was alone rather than during the service. However, I think It was more the shock and numbness of realsing this was her real last day on earth than anything else
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    (Original post by goonermk)
    I would advise you to pay attention to the service rather than watching it at home on your phone.

    My grandfather passed in June 2012. That was the last time I have cried, and the first time I cried for years. I went to a small room, saw my brother and we both just poured tears for 15 minutes. Before that and after that for hours we were fine.

    Try to keep it in, that's understandable but if you can't control it just go to the bathroom for a few minutes.

    Forget about pride, and how other people see you. It's your grandma your mourning, it's the final salute to her life.
    Again crying I just dont do im just looking for any advice whatsoever on how not to. Not sure if the place has a bathroom.
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    Maybe think about how unhappy your grandmother would be if she saw you crying? Think about how this is the last time you're seeing her and you want to send her off with your beautiful face rather than a sobbing face....... There is actually very little you can do because often the tears are uncontrollable and even if they come out the other 99% of people there will be doing the same so its nothing to be ashamed of.
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    (Original post by Kutta)
    Maybe think about how unhappy your grandmother would be if she saw you crying? Think about how this is the last time you're seeing her and you want to send her off with your beautiful face rather than a sobbing face....... There is actually very little you can do because often the tears are uncontrollable and even if they come out the other 99% of people there will be doing the same so its nothing to be ashamed of.
    yeh Im considering not going or I'l just go out if theres nothing I can do about it. Thats why I need some advice even if it means taking drugs or something daft.
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    What exactly is wrong with crying? Who are you trying to prove your hardness to? At a funeral? Really? I would say you didn't care about your grandmother enough.

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    (Original post by civilstudent)
    yeh Im considering not going or I'l just go out if theres nothing I can do about it. Thats why I need some advice even if it means taking drugs or something daft.
    Speaking from experience you will regret not going. It will almost certainly have a bathroom or somewhere private. Sit at the back and sneak out if you feel yourself welling up


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    I bite my tongue really hard when I'm trying not to cry.


    That tactic has got me through funerals and psychiatrist appointments.
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    (Original post by SuziieB)
    What exactly is wrong with crying? Who are you trying to prove your hardness to? At a funeral? Really? I would say you didn't care about your grandmother enough.

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    Im not trying to prove hardness its for personal reasons. Maybe I dont care about her enough thats my business though. Im simply looking for suggestions on how not to cry any other comments/posts are useless to me and are just annoying.
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    (Original post by Sabertooth)
    I bite my tongue really hard when I'm trying not to cry.


    That tactic has got me through funerals and psychiatrist appointments.
    cheers, I'l practice this lol. Im wondering if chewing gum will help much too but doubt it.
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    (Original post by civilstudent)
    Im not trying to prove hardness its for personal reasons. Maybe I dont care about her enough thats my business though. Im simply looking for suggestions on how not to cry any other comments/posts are useless to me and are just annoying.
    Ignore the poster who you quoted. Saying that you don't care was out of order


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    (Original post by Sammy Lanka)
    Speaking from experience you will regret not going. It will almost certainly have a bathroom or somewhere private. Sit at the back and sneak out if you feel yourself welling up


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    ok yea will do this, last time though I tried sitting at the back and family made me go to the front, I'l just have to be stubborn. :/
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    (Original post by civilstudent)
    ok yea will do this, last time though I tried sitting at the back and family made me go to the front, I'l just have to be stubborn. :/
    Speak to them before the day and just express how they feel. They will probably accept it eventually. Don't just tell them on the day though as that could upset them.

    sorry for your loss.


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    (Original post by civilstudent)
    cheers, I'l practice this lol. Im wondering if chewing gum will help much too but doubt it.
    I don't think it would help in the same way. When I bite my tongue it's so I think about that pain rather than whatever's making me want to cry.

    Give it a go though, works a treat for me.

    Good luck!
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    (Original post by SuziieB)
    What exactly is wrong with crying? Who are you trying to prove your hardness to? At a funeral? Really? I would say you didn't care about your grandmother enough.

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    What an absolutely HORRIBLE thing to say! The OP's grandmother has died and not wanting to cry at a funeral doesn't mean that they didn't care enough about that person enough to cry! Honestly, I am appalled that you would say that. Ashamed to read it.
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    There is nothing wrong with crying at a funeral, I never cry in front of people, however at a funeral it's different.

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    Get over yourself and just cry, for god's sake. It's weirder if you didn't.

    You can't fight human emotion, unfortunately, unless you wish to have a lobotomy before the service.
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    (Original post by LiquidGold)
    What an absolutely HORRIBLE thing to say! The OP's grandmother has died and not wanting to cry at a funeral doesn't mean that they didn't care enough about that person enough to cry! Honestly, I am appalled that you would say that. Ashamed to read it.
    Woah, for a minute there you nearly over-reacted.

    It was strongly worded, but I think the point was if you were really, truly cut up about losing someone of such importance to you like that, whether or not you're crying would be such a insignificant matter in comparison...
 
 
 
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