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I was really horrible to my psychiatrist... what do I do? watch

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    OK as a bit of background last year at uni I was severely bullied and my dept. 'covered it up'. I have been seeing my psychiatrist for 6 months and I went home in March and stayed there for 7 months. I had my second meeting with him today.


    I ended up getting really upset and I remember shouting really loudly and banging my fists on a chair shouting how the dept. have fixed it so that the bully has gotten away with everything even when I've had evidence for the bullying. I was shouting about how he was a **** psychiatrist and how he never helps me by saying anything constructive and I don't understand what he is saying because all he does is contradict himself. I was like 'YOU INTERRUPT ME ALL THE GODDAMN ****ING TIME AND I'M TRYING TO SAY SOMETHING IMPORTANT AND YOU START TALKING ABOUT IRRELEVANT ****.' I also kept shouting "TELL ME HOW YOU HAVE HELPED ME. YOU CAN'T BECAUSE YOU HAVEN'T. WHY WON'T YOU HELP ME." I was also shouting how he wasn't telling me what was wrong with me. I was *****ing about my counsellor who told me to ask the bully out on a date etc. etc. etc.

    [TL/DR] Basically, I was screaming and hitting the chair (I'm a very small and quite girl normally) and the session overran for half an hour. I was looking at his face where he seemed quite shocked/horrified and some of the things I said evidently hurt his feelings (you could tell he was upset from his responses). Whilst I stand by most of what I said, I was very embarrassed by my conduct and the fact I said it and I don't know what to do to make it better. :-(
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    Hi Georg, sorry to hear about your situation. It sounds as though you've had an absolutely terrible time over the last yr or so; and feel as though you're not getting any positive help with this at all. I'm sure your psychiatrist is a help to some clients (or he wouldn't still be employed as such!), but maybe he's just not the right one for you personally. I bet he has had clients react badly in the past too, because people who are level-headed don't tend to need the services he offers. Can you arrange to see a different psychiatrist? Or even one who offers a different type of therapy (like CBT)? In the past, I found myself getting really frustrated with counsellors, who just repeated everything I said back to me (when I knew what the problem was, but not how to fix it...& CBT turned out to be the best therapy for me). Also, do you think your anger may stem from the fact that you feel you have been victimised, your life and future turned upside-down by this bully, but yet they are ok? They are still at uni, and their future looks bright...they have got away with it, and where's the justice in that? If you have solid evidence of the bullying and the uni covering it up, have you thought about taking legal action? I'm afraid that I don't know much about these types of laws, but you may wish to look into it. Again, I don't know whether my knowledge is out-dated, but solicitors did used to allow potential customers/clients a free half-hour assessment, to see whether the case would be suitable/worth pursuing...and I'm not sure whether 'legal aid' for those on low income still exists (as all this legal stuff can get very expensive!), but it's worth checking out! Maybe a good (and totally free!) place to start would be by making an appointment with your local Citizens Advice Bureau... they are excellent with all matters, legal & emotional! If you are worried about your behaviour with your psychiatrist, and it's really getting you down, maybe write him a letter and post it? You don't have to apologise for the fact that you thought he was wrong, just for the way you expressed it. I hope that you manage to get all this horrible stuff sorted, put in the past, and return to uni (if that's what you decide to do). Good luck, and take care! x
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    (Original post by PG-Oldbie)
    Hi Georg, sorry to hear about your situation. It sounds as though you've had an absolutely terrible time over the last yr or so; and feel as though you're not getting any positive help with this at all. I'm sure your psychiatrist is a help to some clients (or he wouldn't still be employed as such!), but maybe he's just not the right one for you personally. I bet he has had clients react badly in the past too, because people who are level-headed don't tend to need the services he offers. Can you arrange to see a different psychiatrist? Or even one who offers a different type of therapy (like CBT)? In the past, I found myself getting really frustrated with counsellors, who just repeated everything I said back to me (when I knew what the problem was, but not how to fix it...& CBT turned out to be the best therapy for me). Also, do you think your anger may stem from the fact that you feel you have been victimised, your life and future turned upside-down by this bully, but yet they are ok? They are still at uni, and their future looks bright...they have got away with it, and where's the justice in that? If you have solid evidence of the bullying and the uni covering it up, have you thought about taking legal action? I'm afraid that I don't know much about these types of laws, but you may wish to look into it. Again, I don't know whether my knowledge is out-dated, but solicitors did used to allow potential customers/clients a free half-hour assessment, to see whether the case would be suitable/worth pursuing...and I'm not sure whether 'legal aid' for those on low income still exists (as all this legal stuff can get very expensive!), but it's worth checking out! Maybe a good (and totally free!) place to start would be by making an appointment with your local Citizens Advice Bureau... they are excellent with all matters, legal & emotional! If you are worried about your behaviour with your psychiatrist, and it's really getting you down, maybe write him a letter and post it? You don't have to apologise for the fact that you thought he was wrong, just for the way you expressed it. I hope that you manage to get all this horrible stuff sorted, put in the past, and return to uni (if that's what you decide to do). Good luck, and take care! x
    You see this is what I find frustrating. You have understood what has upset me whereas I speak to him face to face for half an hour each week and I just feel irritated and like he doesn't understand.

    I did have solid evidence but my uni told me to 'drop it' and that they wouldn't be taking it any further. So all the nasty texts, emails, facebook messages and the essay which he 'marked' (i.e. just ticked the occasional paragraph) have all been binned.

    I have written him an email before explaining what he does which upsets me yet he never once makes any statement that he is going to change. Instead he deflects it on me. Two weeks ago he admitted he didn't help me and when I brought it up this session he was all petty. Like he asked me if I wanted to go on meds (my GP put me on anti-psychotics and valium for no reason and I almost ended up being sectioned cause I was on potent drugs I shouldn't be). I started shouting 'No no no no no' and then he goes "Ahh you didn't even listen to my question. I said 'Have you ever considered not taking medicine?'" He is just petty and all about point-scoring.

    I am still at uni in my final year. (Thinking about taking a year out but idk). I don't know if I can change as he is the consultant for my uni and I see them through my uni.

    Thanks for you kind words and advice too :-)
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    Any other thoughts from people? Seriously thinking of not going back to see him but he is the only 'help' I get.
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    Just been to hospital and I was diagnosed with a kidney infection so that will be why i was irritable lol. How embarrassing :-(
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    I wouldn't feel too bad about your behaviour- mental health workers should be well trained/prepared for patients to hurl abuse at them, so I'm sure he's heard a lot lot worse from others, so try not to worry too much.

    I know how you feel- I've had similar experiences with CAMHS psychiatrists/psychologists. Sit down and weigh up your options- it may be the experience is preventing you from getting better, if you can't engage/don't have a therpuetic bond with him, it will be difficult to make progress. In the end I decided my sessions at CAMHS were being counter productive so I switched to private care. Try and look into other treatment options if you feel your current situation isn't helping/the negatives outweigh the benefits.

    Sorry if this makes no sense, I'm super tired aha
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    (Original post by Georg Hegel)
    OK as a bit of background last year at uni I was severely bullied and my dept. 'covered it up'. I have been seeing my psychiatrist for 6 months and I went home in March and stayed there for 7 months. I had my second meeting with him today.


    I ended up getting really upset and I remember shouting really loudly and banging my fists on a chair shouting how the dept. have fixed it so that the bully has gotten away with everything even when I've had evidence for the bullying. I was shouting about how he was a **** psychiatrist and how he never helps me by saying anything constructive and I don't understand what he is saying because all he does is contradict himself. I was like 'YOU INTERRUPT ME ALL THE GODDAMN ****ING TIME AND I'M TRYING TO SAY SOMETHING IMPORTANT AND YOU START TALKING ABOUT IRRELEVANT ****.' I also kept shouting "TELL ME HOW YOU HAVE HELPED ME. YOU CAN'T BECAUSE YOU HAVEN'T. WHY WON'T YOU HELP ME." I was also shouting how he wasn't telling me what was wrong with me. I was *****ing about my counsellor who told me to ask the bully out on a date etc. etc. etc.

    [TL/DR] Basically, I was screaming and hitting the chair (I'm a very small and quite girl normally) and the session overran for half an hour. I was looking at his face where he seemed quite shocked/horrified and some of the things I said evidently hurt his feelings (you could tell he was upset from his responses). Whilst I stand by most of what I said, I was very embarrassed by my conduct and the fact I said it and I don't know what to do to make it better. :-(
    Well unfortunately you can't get a time machine and go back to not say those things and act that way.

    I'm sure your psychiatrist has dealt with similar or even worse behavior. The best thing you can do is apologize for what you did and said. I know when I'm upset I sometimes have done similar things and they've been really understanding. I hope you feel better soon and that everything is okay.
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    Hi Georg!

    I was just wondering how you're getting on? Did you decide to stay at uni, & have things improved for you? I really do hope so!

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    (Original post by PG-Oldbie)
    Hi Georg!

    I was just wondering how you're getting on? Did you decide to stay at uni, & have things improved for you? I really do hope so!

    X
    Hey! Thanks, that's really thoughtful of you! Ermm, not really... I don't really have a psychiatrist anymore - I don't know what I have. I saw my GP and she said she spoke to him face to face about an emergency appt and that he said I didn't need meds. I had to wait a month to see him and so I was really annoyed at him. I told him I was feeling suicidal and that I had already tried, he knew nothing about the GP speaking to him - he was on holiday. He also told me to come back in two months time. I was devastated and I walked out and went home and rung up NHS direct. NHS direct didn't want to leave me on my own so they called an ambulance and I was taken to hospital for an emergency assessment.

    I had to make a complaint about the junior pdoc who 'assessed me'. She spoke to my psychiatrist before she saw me and she said I was a "spoilt cow", "you can't have things your own way all the time" and that "you have to live with the fact you can't be good at things anymore" amongst other things and a rude attitude. I walked out again with no follow up or anything arranged. I wrote a formal complaint and it was 6 pages; the head of psychological medicine is looking into it himself and is waiting for her reply. I saw my GP again and she maintained that she did speak to him and yet she gives me no help or medication. I have asked four times over three months for a referral to my uni counselling services and she never answers my question. I bumped into my psychiatrist at uni on Friday; I sent him the formal complaint letter to his secretary. He wished me Merry Christmas and a happy new year. He asked me if I was going to see him again in January and I just shook my head. He said his door is always open.

    I am now without a GP, psychiatrist or any support through medication and counselling. I have no idea what to do. I can go back to my psychiatrist but if I feel suicidal I have to wait for two months and somehow manage to survive? I'm not being funny but if someone is worse than me then they should be admitted into a psych ward. :-(

    Any advice would be appreciated. I hope things are well at your end anyway and merry Christmas!!! :hugs::hugs:

    Oh as for uni, I am still at uni but I seriously doubt I'm going to get a 1:1 and I haven't submitted an application for postgrad either which was the plan.
 
 
 
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