Me and my boyfriend have been together on and off for 3 years (but we've never been with anyone else, we've never "properly" broken up or not spoken to each other for long periods of time). This last year has been particularly bad, arguing every day etc.
We lived in halls this year separately. I was expecting our relationship to get better again over the summer so I could feel comfortable with moving in with him.
Long story short it didn't improve, whatsoever. Even on the day of house viewings we argued horrendously. The problem now is that I started to feel like I fancied someone else, probably because my own relationship was becoming stale and almost platonic.
Amongst all the arguing, I told my boyfriend that I couldn't live with him or be with him, and that I fancied someone else. This was/is crazy, because I hardly know the other guy. Seriously- we don't talk all that much, and although he recently asked for my number, I don't know if he actually likes me or if its even going to progress anywhere. I don't know the guy, whereas I know the ins and outs and all the flaws of my boyfriend. There is a lot of security- I know he doesn't want to leave me, wouldn't cheat or flirt with other girls. I love him dearly, and am still attracted to him, I just want to regain the spark. So he's persuaded me that moving in together will make things better and improve our relationship. I've decided to agree and risk it all, risk being homeless again in a few months; because last year I rejected all my friends' suggestions to cohabit under the impression I'd live with my boyfriend. Halls never got back to me and I don't want to be living in a house share. So I'm taking a massive risk. I told him that he was miles better than any other guy - I couldn't live seeing another girl with my boy - but I easily could with the new guy i have no attachment to.
But it doesn't stop me still having a teeny crush on this other guy. What can I do? I feel like I still want to get to know him, would that be wrong? even just as a friend? Before I resolved things with my bf this other guy offered me to stay in the spare bedroom at his if I ever needed to (because I don't have a permanent home). I feel like I wouldn't even know how to explain to him that I've moved in with my boyfriend who I've only just gotten back together with...
tl;dr: decided to risk everything by agreeing to move in with turbulent on-off boyfriend. Slightly fancy someone else.
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- Thread Starter
- 13-10-2013 11:55
- 14-10-2013 05:49
If you're making it work with the bf, don't even think about dancing with the devil.. what would you hope to glean from it? Don't let a little attraction mess up what is definitely the right decision. Even if, long term, it doesn't work out with your boyfriend, you definitely need to give it a fair crack, 100%.