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    I started seeing this girl for a few months towards the end of Uni earlier this year.. Things didn't work out so it ended but we're still really close and we talk everyday. It's her 21st coming up and I want to get her a really nice gift for it, along the lines of flowers and a necklace but I don't know if that might be considered inappropriate as I still have feelings towards her and I don't want it to me misinterpreted as an attempt to win her back, which it isn't! Can anyone help?
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    Personally to me it does seem a bit much, especially the flowers. But it's up to yourself but I would tone ti down a bit.
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    I think the gifts you suggest are a clear sign of your continuing feelings. Perhaps no harm in it but something less associated with romance, than flowers and jewellery, might be more appropriate.
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    Definitely not the flowers.
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    The flowers with a sincere mesage in the card is fine. No to the necklace because it would seem you want her back. Any potential suitor would notice the jewellery around her neck and ask why which could lead to friction. You could include chocolates as a gift. Yeah I know its not Valentines Day but she'll be thankful for the endorphins making her happy after eating a few.

    Those saying no to the flowers. Really? Flowers are the universal gift for all occasions.
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    Thanks for all the replies ... I think I'm going to get her the flowers anyway ... but does anyone have any suggestions what I can get her instead of a necklace? I want something that means more than a box of chocolates. And also she'll actually be at home on her birthday, should I order the flowers to there or would that be too much?
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Thanks for all the replies ... I think I'm going to get her the flowers anyway ... but does anyone have any suggestions what I can get her instead of a necklace? I want something that means more than a box of chocolates. And also she'll actually be at home on her birthday, should I order the flowers to there or would that be too much?
    I still think nothing says "I still have feelings for you" like a bunch of flowers, but if you're dead set on them then definitely don't get them delivered.
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    What should I do then? It's her 21st and we're still really close so I want to get her something special. She's going through a bit of a rough time at the minute so I want to show her that I still really care for her even if we're not together.
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    I wouldn't go with flowers. They die relatively quickly and are expensive, and therefore are in my opinion a sign of strong affection (since you don't mind spending stupid money on such a pointless and short lived gift). If you have mutual friends that you're both close to then a photo album full of memories might be nice, though leave out soppy ones of just the two of you. Or you could get her a nice ornament or take her for a day out or casual lunch/dinner perhaps with friends so that she doesn't feel awkward like it's a date.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    What should I do then? It's her 21st and we're still really close so I want to get her something special. She's going through a bit of a rough time at the minute so I want to show her that I still really care for her even if we're not together.
    Don't limit yourself to just thinking of presents. You don't have to spend money or go with the stereotypical ideas to show you care. Something that you've put effort into is the best way, or just getting her something that she mentioned in passing once will likely cheer her up - because it showed you were paying attention when she said it. In the same way, if she mentions wanting to see this or that film, if you remember that that was what she wanted to see she'll appreciate that you remembered.

    A really simple thing that someone can appreciate is a handmade card, or small memento like a photo album as the above poster mentioned. You could also plan something she could do, host a surprise party (for shortly before/after if she's at home for her actual birthday). One thing I like to do is bake cakes, so maybe you could make something for her alongside a present? It's really cheap but also thoughtful. Really the possibilities are endless depending on what she likes. I mean, I got a dragon onesie for my birthday and I was pretty damned happy with it :lol:

    As other people said, definitely not the flowers. That is something only girlfriends, valentines and grandmas receive.
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    Ok so not the flowers then ... a photo album is a possibility however she's already printed out a lot of pictures from both uni and home so I might be duplicating a lot of them ... show tickets are a possibility as well however it would be for next Sept and she doesn't know what she'd be doing then :s
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Ok so not the flowers then ... a photo album is a possibility however she's already printed out a lot of pictures from both uni and home so I might be duplicating a lot of them ... show tickets are a possibility as well however it would be for next Sept and she doesn't know what she'd be doing then :s
    Is it just me or does this situation not seem healthy at all?
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    Not flowers.

    In her position I would appreciate an experience more than a wrapped thing. A day out doing something she loves would be a much nicer memory. Theatre...hmmm, maybe but thats just sitting in the dark not talking. Is there a particular artist/designer she likes that has a show on, or an exhibition in a gallery? A day out in Stratford is nice if she has a passion for Shakespeare for example....that sort of thing. A train to the coast to join in a conservation day...? Having her hair and makeup done and then a session in a photo studio is popular with some women (not as expensive as it sounds!) You get the picture. Thats what I would love if I were her, its personal and thoughtful and something that she will have forever, unlike a necklace which doesnt quite show as much thought and as someone said her new man might not like her wearing it, or it could get lost...
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    (Original post by LolaLowe)
    Not flowers.

    In her position I would appreciate an experience more than a wrapped thing. A day out doing something she loves would be a much nicer memory. Theatre...hmmm, maybe but thats just sitting in the dark not talking. Is there a particular artist/designer she likes that has a show on, or an exhibition in a gallery? A day out in Stratford is nice if she has a passion for Shakespeare for example....that sort of thing. A train to the coast to join in a conservation day...? Having her hair and makeup done and then a session in a photo studio is popular with some women (not as expensive as it sounds!) You get the picture. Thats what I would love if I were her, its personal and thoughtful and something that she will have forever, unlike a necklace which doesnt quite show as much thought and as someone said her new man might not like her wearing it, or it could get lost...
    Yeah, something like this is good. A red letter day could be a good idea, and there's lots of options you can pick from as you know her better than we do.
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    Get her something nice and impersonal, such as vouchers from HMV.
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    Lol, just wish her happy birthday via text or something? It's a bit excessive giving her a present.
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    Take her to the zoo to feed the animals :sheep: All girls want that.
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    Mate the ****kk, get her a card you're not together and buying her **** isn't going to help you get back with her

    show her you care, a little, with a card. don't write any stupid **** in it either, either something funny (that's not beta) or just say happy birthday

    or get her nothing at all and just say it irl
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    (Original post by nopenopenope)
    Mate the ****kk, get her a card you're not together and buying her **** isn't going to help you get back with her

    show her you care, a little, with a card. don't write any stupid **** in it either, either something funny (that's not beta) or just say happy birthday

    or get her nothing at all and just say it irl
    this
 
 
 
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