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Report bfs brother to police?

I'm seriously thinking of calling the police and tipping them off about my boyfriend's brother, however I don't know if I should, or how to go about it anonymously. (just for the record, I live with my boyfriend and it's a serious relationship - otherwise I wouldn't bother getting involved).

Let's say my boyfriend is called John and his brother is called Mike.

Mike has always been.. well.. not a great guy from day 1. John has told me about his experiences of Mike in the past, including Mike stealing from John - hundred of pounds - to pay off drug dealers multiple times, and well, generally being a little sh*t. He's been involved with drugs from an early age- I remember John telling me about Mike waking him up the night before a GCSE exam by kicking a ball repeatedly up against the house at 3am, whilst high on amphetamines. Mike was about 14 at the time.

Recently (about 10 months ago), Mike was arrested for drink driving and was banned for a year. He'd also smoked weed and was about to take cocaine (I know - I was there!). Which is of course disgusting and I'm glad the police caught him.

He's been creating problems between John and myself, by developing a problem with me over something trivial - and won't even be in the same room as me now. Which is pretty crappy if we're all on a night out. John has come home a couple of times very upset over it, after trying to reason with his brother. I wouldn't mind being in the same room as him at all, in fact I would be more than civil towards him. I've also emailed Mike about it and tried to sort it out but to no avail - Mike is very self centered. I hate that he's putting John in the middle of all this.

Now... All these things which have happened, I've been trying to ignore and just get on with my life, cause after all, it's not my problem. However something happened last night which angered me, and made me think about doing this.

I heard from one of my friends that a group of them were going to buy some weed from Mike (oh, did I mention he's also a prolific drug dealer?) - fine, but - they were meeting him AT HIS PARENT'S HOUSE, where Mike still lives.

I'm concerned for his parents, as they're such lovely people. The people who were going over to buy weed are the type of people who would blab about his name and address if anyone asked them where they got it from.

Should I tip off the police, who probably won't be able to do anything without any evidence anyway? Or just wait and see what happens? Or just wash my hands of the whole matter?

Argh :frown:

Reply 1

Anonymous #2

let it go....no point....it might cause more frictions...

Reply 2

Anonymous #1

I suppose. I know it's probably none of my business at all. I've just seen all the hurt that he's put all his family through, and I wish I could do something about it! It's really hard to just turn a blind eye.

The fact that he's put his parents in danger has sorta pushed me to think about something like this.

I'm a very open minded person and believe that people have their own business.. which is why I'm struggling with it right now.

Reply 3

Talya

Perhaps have a chat with his parents? But emphasize the concern you have about them getting in trouble if drugs are found in the house.

Reply 4

Shreerac1

Have you spoken to your boyfriend about your intentions? Snitch on his brother and its more than likely gonna be game over for you, no matter how serious your relationship is.

Reply 5

Talya

Shreerac1

Have you spoken to your boyfriend about your intentions? Snitch on his brother and its more than likely gonna be game over for you, no matter how serious your relationship is.

Unless the bf doesn't like the brother.

Does John like Mike?

Reply 6

Shreerac1

Talya

Unless the bf doesn't like the brother.

Does John like Mike?

That is a possibility. I think it is unlikely though because the bond between brothers is so strong.

Reply 7

Anonymous #1

They went through a period when Mike was taking amphetamines, speed etc, where they pretty much hated each other.

Recently, within the last couple of years, they've become friends again. As I mentioned before, Mike has still created problems, but John doesn't want to do much about it for fear that he'll lose the brotherly friendship (Mike would drop him like a hat).

Which is yet another thing which makes me peed off, he won't do anything about it!! it's like Mike can get away with anything. :/

John doesn't know anything about what I've been thinking as regards police.

Reply 8

Note

Ok so you want to keep together with John but you are thinking about getting the police involved with Mike. The best course of action either way - unless you think that John is extremely rational and is willing to talk this all through etc. - is to not talk to him or his parents about your thoughts. Make your mind up and then tell the police - but make it absolutely clear that you are anonymous, his parents and his brother have nothing to do with it.

Another route could be going after the buyers instead. If you could get names of the people buying from him and weed them out using the police e.g. start with your friends then maybe this will have some sort of an effect. Its very nasty I know, but I'm simply presenting options.

Reply 9

Anonymous #1

Sadly Mike has a hell of a lot of buyers and there's no way I could contact them all, he deals to work friends also.

John wouldn't go for it at all, if I told him I was thinking of getting the police involved...

Do you think it would be the best thing to do or.. just leave it be?

Reply 10

Note

Is there someone you would trust anything to on this earth? A friend other than Mike who is reliant as anything and is always there for you if you need help? If so I suggest going somewhere with them, laying the situation out for them and asking them to tell the police anonymsly.

Reply 11

iz_a_bell

I think it is not your place to report him to the police, because:

a) if your boyfriend finds out about it, you will be seen as the villian eventhough your intentions were good - from what I've gathered, no matter how much you hate your family, you will become very defensive of them when other people are involved.

b) by reporting to the police, his family would be going through even more pain knowing that their son/brother is in prison, etc...

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