what did I do wrong? and no its not to do with my bf/gf

Urgh, where to start. Basically my mum is desperate for me to do medicine. I used to want to do it but then i decided medicine really isn't the career for me. My dad's a dr and I think my Mum has some weird psycolgical thing wrong with her because she screwed up her school life and wishes shed done something like med.

The problem: my mum has always said I should do medicine etc, today she took it too far. I said I didn't wanna do medicine, and the she said "well I'm not supporting you doing some course at uni where you don't get anything out of it". Basically there she was saying unless I do medicine she won't support me. My dad doesn't really care what I do as long as I get straight a*s and a's. I've just done gcses and am quite clever but nothing special (unlike my dad whos a friggin geeky/genius) Why does my mum hate me for doing what I want to do? I just feel so f**king s**t all the time because I feel stupid and worthless, because my Mum is always offending me. Advice?

Reply 1

Chi3f

1

take medicine, then flop it, then blame your mum saying she shouldnt have made you do it

Reply 2

Sazarina88

11

What course do you want to do? Perhaps you should sit down with her and explain why you want to do this course and why it would benefit you more than doing medicine. Have you asked your Dad to talk to her? If he's not bothered then perhaps he could convince her not to be.

When she says she won't support you do you mean in terms of money? Or just general support.

In the long term, it's YOUR future that you're working for. Sorry to say but when she's gone and you're stuck there doing medicine you will most likely regret doing medicine in the first place.

I'd say go for what YOU want to do, not your Mum.

Sarah x

Reply 3

Anonymous #1

OP

Sazarina88

What course do you want to do? Perhaps you should sit down with her and explain why you want to do this course and why it would benefit you more than doing medicine. Have you asked your Dad to talk to her? If he's not bothered then perhaps he could convince her not to be.

When she says she won't support you do you mean in terms of money? Or just general support.

In the long term, it's YOUR future that you're working for. Sorry to say but when she's gone and you're stuck there doing medicine you will most likely regret doing medicine in the first place.

I'd say go for what YOU want to do, not your Mum.

Sarah x

I wanna do something like english, yeah I know english isn't as amazing as medicine, but i love english and I thought you could get tonnes of jobs with english? but mother doesn't approve as per usual. And she means general and money.

Reply 4

randum_nandom

well chooce a course u wanna do and if your dad agrees your good, i mean jusr tell your mum that its me thats going to get something out it and if im stuck for the rest of my life withsomething i dont like, ill never be happy, i mean im sure your mum loves you and wants the best thats why she is telling you to do med. but tell her that it is not going to make me happy and you cant tell me to do something that wont benefit me and make me happy, simple lol
good luck!!!!!! :-)

Reply 5

Anonymous #2

I'm guessing your mum said that out of desperation, I recon if you choose what you want to do, she will support you. And if she doesn't, you dad will. If neither of them do, you'll have 3/4 years of hardship, but It'll be possible to get through.

Better than ending up doing something you don't wanna be doing for the rest of your life

Reply 6

acer

Anonymous

Urgh, where to start. Basically my mum is desperate for me to do medicine. [&c]

Advice?

I suggest you do what you have an interest in, rather than what one of your parents want you to do. No point being rich if you're not happy. I chose to do something my parents would have approved of rather than something I was interested in, and i only realised what a mistake that was once I'd finished jumping through all the hoops. I now do something totally unconnected to my first degree.

If there's something that interests you, I'd do that (making sure that you're not doing it simply to spite your mum). For a lot of career choices, the degree subject doesn't matter, as you have to go on to other training anyway. Get to as many careers fairs as you can-in some places there are careers/interests questionnaires you can do to guide your choice. If there's nothing in particular that grabs you, is a year out possible?

Reply 7

maelys

Anonymous

Urgh, where to start. Basically my mum is desperate for me to do medicine. I used to want to do it but then i decided medicine really isn't the career for me. My dad's a dr and I think my Mum has some weird psycolgical thing wrong with her because she screwed up her school life and wishes shed done something like med.

The problem: my mum has always said I should do medicine etc, today she took it too far. I said I didn't wanna do medicine, and the she said "well I'm not supporting you doing some course at uni where you don't get anything out of it". Basically there she was saying unless I do medicine she won't support me. My dad doesn't really care what I do as long as I get straight a*s and a's. I've just done gcses and am quite clever but nothing special (unlike my dad whos a friggin geeky/genius) Why does my mum hate me for doing what I want to do? I just feel so f**king s**t all the time because I feel stupid and worthless, because my Mum is always offending me. Advice?

Hello, I'm awfully sorry to hear about your situation. I used to work with a lady whose daughter was sitting A-Levels a few years ago, and she was disappointed that she'd applied for a humanities subject and not something along the healthcare professions (i.e. medicine/dentistry)!
Just out of interest what would you prefer to study, or are you still undecided?

Medicine is one of those things, where a lot of genuinity and passion for the subject are required (getting through 5-6 years of study and beyond requires...a little something else!!), and admissions staff can easily pick out those who supply false reasons for wanting to do it, in addition to those who are picking it under parental pressure.

Since your Dad seems to be a bit more relaxed in attitude, could you maybe ask him to chat with your Mum, and maybe soften her little to seeing your point of view.
Emphasise the point of how miserable you'd be studying something you had no interest in and how your talents and skills could be better applied elsewhere. I think she may have said what she did about not supporting you in the heat of the moment; she loves you and wants you to enjoy what she wasn't able to have, but unfortunately for you it doesn't quite appear that way :smile:

Tell her that there are many career paths where you can make a valuable contribution...being a doctor (although I'm biased and think they are great :wink:

) is not the be all and end all.
My heart goes out to you, because I remember a couple of my school friends being in similar situations to yours, and the parents had to learn the hard way when they dropped out of medical/dentistry school after a year or two because they hated it.
Try and also see if you can have a chat with one of your teachers/careers advisors at school - they will have to do references for you when it comes to university application time, and will hopefully be looking in your best interests with regards to what you want to do.

I wish you all the best of luck and I hope you find something you'd love to study :smile:

Reply 8

maelys

English is a fantastic subject area to study, and my Dad was particularly keen that I do it (I wouldn't have minded, but I did something completely different).....Law is one thing, also Journalism (I'll spot you reading the news on Sky in a few years to come :wink:

)...Or you could teach or do further research...

Reply 9

hanhan88

6

My grandad is a doctor and when i was considering doing medicine a few years back he told me medicine is something you need to be 100% committed to, otherwise it wont work out.

My mum is similar to yours, she didnt get the opportunity to get a good education and now she is really pushing me to do my best, nad in the process she kept pushing me towards medical subjects.Not really because she wants me to do it, but because it is what interests her. She is only doing it because she doesnt want me to be in the position she is in now. However, she has always said that she will support me whatever i choose.

I am assuming tha tou a re going to start your AS courses in september? Have you chosen your subjects yet? Why not pick english and science subjects? then both options are open to you when you come to choose your uni course. This will also keep your mum happy for a while!
I dont mean to sound patronising, but you are still quite young and its hard to make such big decisions at 16, i know that my ideas of what career i want have changed so many times over the past few years. try and keep as many doors open as possible and most importantly, make sure that you are doing what you want to do. Your mum obviously loves you and wants to support you, and im sure she will whatever you choose in the end.

what did I do wrong? and no its not to do with my bf/gf

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