The Student Room Group

Having trouble letting go of a university society.

Hi, this is definitely a first world problem, but I'd appreciate some advice. I know people don't like blocks of text, so I've summarised the situation - please ask if it needs clarifying.

Situation
- Been part of a university society for three years. Now a fourth year student.
- I was very heavily involved from my first week of university. It became my main social life, and I was president in my third year.
- The committee has now changed over (as expected), and the new committee don't involve me in anything (as expected). I feel left out and have no control any more.
- However, all my third year friends have left, and whilst I'm a member of a few other societies this is the only place I know a lot of people really well.

Advantages to leaving
- I can clear my head of this nonsense and focus on studying.
- I can go out and experience more of my university's social life (it's one of the Oxbridge universities, so well worth it).
- There is not a lot left for me to do that's useful there - I'd just be drifting, trying to be involved again, and not being.
- I'd have to leave next year anyway.

Advantages to staying
- It's my main social life, and I can't study all the time.
- I really don't want to leave.
- We go on great trips over the holidays.
- I have lots of friends and acquaintances there. I'm unlikely to make more with only one year left.
- I may as well reap the benefits of being an ex-president who doesn't have work to do any more.

Should I leave or stay?
Does anyone else have experience of being an ex-president of a society, still in the society?

Thanks. :smile:

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Daftest problem ever. Narcissistic whinge.

Posted from TSR Mobile
Original post by Pessimisterious
Daftest problem ever. Narcissistic whinge.

Posted from TSR Mobile

This.

OP: This isn't even a first-world problem.
Reply 3
Original post by Pessimisterious
Daftest problem ever. Narcissistic whinge.

Posted from TSR Mobile


Elaborate?
Reply 4
Why did this need to be anonymous ??? If it's your main social event then you should stay, then you still have the trips etc as things to possibly mention on your cv and in a reference, rather than a years gap.
Reply 5
Original post by Doc.Daneeka
This.

OP: This isn't even a first-world problem.


Why? I am asking for advice about how to spend my fourth year - if you don't think it's a problem, why bother posting?
Reply 6
Original post by nic-nac
Why did this need to be anonymous ??? If it's your main social event then you should stay, then you still have the trips etc as things to possibly mention on your cv and in a reference, rather than a years gap.


Thanks for the reply. It's anonymous because I'm aware the reactions might be like those above, and I'd be embarrassed if anyone I know saw it. However, it does matter to me.
Original post by Anonymous
Why? I am asking for advice about how to spend my fourth year - if you don't think it's a problem, why bother posting?

Perhaps my telling you that it's not a problem is a suggestion that you are worrying about nothing...

More explicitly :
Go if you want to go.
Don't go if you don't want to go.
Reply 8
Original post by Doc.Daneeka
Perhaps my telling you that it's not a problem is a suggestion that you are worrying about nothing...

More explicitly :
Go if you want to go.
Don't go if you don't want to go.


Ah, ok, thanks. :smile:

I know it seems stupid, it's just I've put a lot of time and energy into this.
what kind of society is it
Reply 10
Original post by ExpressYourself1
what kind of society is it


If I say that and anyone I know comes across this they will know exactly who I am (I know at least five on TSR who are very likely to), and if it's as narcissistic as people think then I'd rather that didn't happen.

For that reason it's probably best to delete this thread (mods?), because I can't give enough details for people to be helpful, but thanks for replying anyway.
Original post by Anonymous
If I say that and anyone I know comes across this they will know exactly who I am (I know at least five on TSR who are very likely to), and if it's as narcissistic as people think then I'd rather that didn't happen.

For that reason it's probably best to delete this thread (mods?), because I can't give enough details for people to be helpful, but thanks for replying anyway.


can i try guess what kind of society it is
like guess who
but with societies
Reply 12
Original post by ExpressYourself1
can i try guess what kind of society it is
like guess who
but with societies


Can try, but I won't answer. :tongue:

Statistically you'll probably guess right at some point.
Original post by Anonymous
Can try, but I won't answer. :tongue:

Statistically you'll probably guess right at some point.


is it a pumpkin collectors society
Reply 14
Original post by Anonymous

Should I leave or stay?
Does anyone else have experience of being an ex-president of a society, still in the society?

Thanks. :smile:


If you left, you'd probably suffer some serious withdrawal symptoms! I don't think you should leave it.
Can you step back and spend less time involved in it, and use the spare time to try out different societies or study more?
Reply 15
Original post by Milostar
If you left, you'd probably suffer some serious withdrawal symptoms! I don't think you should leave it.
Can you step back and spend less time involved in it, and use the spare time to try out different societies or study more?


Ha ha, thanks! Don't worry, I'm not obsessive, but I do want to stay.

I think that's what I'm going to do - step back a bit, and try other things. I'm glad I made this thread though, because the last thing I want to do is take it too seriously.


Original post by ExpressYourself1
is it a pumpkin collectors society


If it were, I'd probably seek psychological help.
Original post by Anonymous

If it were, I'd probably seek psychological help.


is it any of the following:

Spoon appreciation society
Norwegian kettling society
Interphobic society
The moral sciences club
Boulangerie society
Reply 17
Original post by ExpressYourself1
is it any of the following:

Spoon appreciation society
Norwegian kettling society
Interphobic society
The moral sciences club
Boulangerie society


You're not really working with the statistics here.

I think I'm going to depart this thread gracefully. :cool:
Reply 18
Is this really about the society, or are you missing your old friends?
Reply 19
Original post by Anonymous
Ha ha, thanks! Don't worry, I'm not obsessive, but I do want to stay.

I think that's what I'm going to do - step back a bit, and try other things. I'm glad I made this thread though, because the last thing I want to do is take it too seriously.


You're not coming across as obsessive at all, it's probably a situation that many find themselves in for uni societies, clubs, online communities (:wink:) and more. I know a guy who's been uni 5 or so years just to stay in a debating society. :smile:



Putting on my moderator hat...

I notice there are a few rather tongue in cheek answers to this thread. Please remember that the Health and Relationships forums are for serious, constructive discussion (see the guidelines). If you prefer something a bit more banter-y please head over to chat. :smile:

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