Is it normal to be called ugly by strangers

Watch
This discussion is closed.
Anonymous #1
#1
Report Thread starter 7 years ago
#1
I m in my twenties, and I sometimes get called horrible names by men about my appearance. they say things like 'dog', 'bloke' . just yesterday a man called out his car window saying 'woof woof dog, woof woof'. its not funny i cry about these things. its hard to brush off people wanting to hurt you like that.
I ve only had one boyfriend , it was not a good relationship, i have not been with anyone in 6 years.
i m also very shy, basically i feel like lesser human sometimes.
losing wieght won't help as i m skinny and i don't have money for surgery.
should i improve my appearance somehow?, would counselling help? thanks
0
aeon439
Badges: 0
Rep:
?
#2
Report 7 years ago
#2
Unfortunately, yes it is normal

Some people get this kind of nasty behaviour directed at them more than others but it happens a lot and you should try not to take it to heart.

You have a choice of either ignoring these types, to deprive them of their kick or develop a stare that could incinerate at 50 paces. Either way, people like this do not define you as a person - they define themselves as thick, ignorant pieces of s*** basically and you should never let anything they say get to you personally. Counselling is a good idea as it can be good to talk your problems through with an understanding person.

The lack of response to your question also demonstrates what an unpleasant society we live in today ie many on this board are evidently of the type to be saying the nasty stuff rather than offering comfort to a person on the receiving end of it. I joined this board just to offer you some support as I think it's a poor show from the people on here not to even bother responding to the devastation they cause with their nasty remarks.
0
Anonymous #2
#3
Report 7 years ago
#3
those men sound like complete, and utter f*cking *******s. Reading stuff like this makes me literally at times, completely despise men. The fact that anyone would think it would be okay to say something like that, it really disgusts me. Can I ask you, what part of the country are you from? Because i've found men from the south east of England (mostly London) to be a lot more pretentious and shallow, and judgmental than the ones from the north. I'm originally from London and just recently moved up to the north and have noticed a massive difference.
2
Anonymous #2
#4
Report 7 years ago
#4
(Original post by Anonymous)
I m in my twenties, and I sometimes get called horrible names by men about my appearance. they say things like 'dog', 'bloke' . just yesterday a man called out his car window saying 'woof woof dog, woof woof'. its not funny i cry about these things. its hard to brush off people wanting to hurt you like that.
I ve only had one boyfriend , it was not a good relationship, i have not been with anyone in 6 years.
i m also very shy, basically i feel like lesser human sometimes.
losing wieght won't help as i m skinny and i don't have money for surgery.
should i improve my appearance somehow?, would counselling help? thanks
:hugs: I just posted above, and I want you to know, that anyone who has said these things to you, are completely worthless, pathetic pieces of space, and I really, really urge you not to let these tw*ts get to you, you're beautiful in your own way, i think councelling would be a good idea, I can empathize with you because I am pretty sure I am dysmorphic so my appearance and how I feel about myself can effect me massively at times, I'm a very insecure person so any tiny comment about how I look will unsettle me greatly, even if it wasn't meant in a bad way, so I know how you feel hun. Just stay strong and ignore those w*nkers.
0
russellsteapot
Badges: 16
Rep:
?
#5
Report 7 years ago
#5
Oddly, you'll find that when this happens, it probably isn't done out of any objective judgement of your appearance. A friend of mine who is very 'conventionally beautiful' had a nastier version of 'ugly dog' shouted out of a car window at her while we walked out of university just before the summer break last year. She apparently gets quite often. People do it because they're small, attention-seeking little wretches probably trying to show off in front of others like them (or trying to make their own crappy lives seem better by putting someone else down) and it's a waste of time trying to rationalise the behaviour of someone like this.

In brief reply to the poster who said it makes her hate men, you'll find that in excess of 99% of them don't do this. And women do it too, albeit seemingly less frequently.

Ignoring idiots is sadly a skill necessary for everyone to learn.
2
swan stardust
Badges: 12
Rep:
?
#6
Report 7 years ago
#6
...
2
Fembot
Badges: 4
Rep:
?
#7
Report 7 years ago
#7
(Original post by Anonymous)
I m in my twenties, and I sometimes get called horrible names by men about my appearance. they say things like 'dog', 'bloke' . just yesterday a man called out his car window saying 'woof woof dog, woof woof'. its not funny i cry about these things. its hard to brush off people wanting to hurt you like that.
I ve only had one boyfriend , it was not a good relationship, i have not been with anyone in 6 years.
i m also very shy, basically i feel like lesser human sometimes.
losing wieght won't help as i m skinny and i don't have money for surgery.
should i improve my appearance somehow?, would counselling help? thanks
Don't change yourself because of what some rude, insensitive idiot strangers tell you. Were any of them highly physically attractive themselves? I'd be willing to bet that they were not. If you saw a man you didn't like the appearance of in the street, would you shout "minger" at him? Of course you wouldn't, because you are a decent human being. The people who do this are scum and you should pity them for their lack of social skills and poor attitude towards women.

Attractiveness is defo not just based on a person's looks. I remember that when I met a certain woman I know for the first time, I thought she was not physically attractive at all, but now I find her ridiculously beautiful. It's personality, confidence, and what you say and do, that actually matter.
0
John Stuart Mill
Badges: 3
Rep:
?
#8
Report 7 years ago
#8
hey this isn't just a guy thing...
0
aeon439
Badges: 0
Rep:
?
#9
Report 7 years ago
#9
(Original post by John Stuart Mill)
hey this isn't just a guy thing...
Agreed - it's an equal opportunities form of nastiness - women can be just as guilty of doing it towards other women and men as well but men can often be the loudest about it and therefore cause more humiliation.

If I ran the country all the people who did stuff like this would be executed and I know for a fact that would mean not many would be left alive as give the average person half a chance and they will come out with a nasty comment - it's human nature.
0
shirley123
Badges: 0
Rep:
?
#10
Report 7 years ago
#10
girl,come here,here is a hundred hugs ,its fine you are a nice person i can tell through your words.maybe put some weight since you are skinny.anyway best wishes and i am sure you will have a happy life .just be more confident ,ok?
0
OMGWTFBBQ
Badges: 17
Rep:
?
#11
Report 7 years ago
#11
(Original post by Anonymous)
those men sound like complete, and utter f*cking *******s. Reading stuff like this makes me literally at times, completely despise men. The fact that anyone would think it would be okay to say something like that, it really disgusts me. Can I ask you, what part of the country are you from? Because i've found men from the south east of England (mostly London) to be a lot more pretentious and shallow, and judgmental than the ones from the north. I'm originally from London and just recently moved up to the north and have noticed a massive difference.
You honestly think that men don't hear that loud, seemingly deliberately overhearable *****ing women do about them where they say exactly the same type of things, if not worse?
0
shirley123
Badges: 0
Rep:
?
#12
Report 7 years ago
#12
(Original post by Fembot)
Don't change yourself because of what some rude, insensitive idiot strangers tell you. Were any of them highly physically attractive themselves? I'd be willing to bet that they were not. If you saw a man you didn't like the appearance of in the street, would you shout "minger" at him? Of course you wouldn't, because you are a decent human being. The people who do this are scum and you should pity them for their lack of social skills and poor attitude towards women.

Attractiveness is defo not just based on a person's looks. I remember that when I met a certain woman I know for the first time, I thought she was not physically attractive at all, but now I find her ridiculously beautiful. It's personality, confidence, and what you say and do, that actually matter.
cant agree more
0
aeon439
Badges: 0
Rep:
?
#13
Report 7 years ago
#13
(Original post by OMGWTFBBQ)
You honestly think that men don't hear that loud, seemingly deliberately overhearable *****ing women do about them where they say exactly the same type of things, if not worse?
Humour me - so what exactly have they said about you then?
0
OMGWTFBBQ
Badges: 17
Rep:
?
#14
Report 7 years ago
#14
(Original post by aeon439)
Humour me - so what exactly have they said about you then?
Friends know my username here so I'm not going public with any direct quotes, but I hear some pretty unflattering things at least once a week.

I generally try and rationalise it to their overall lack of intelligence as they tend to be anthro/sport science types. Doesn't make it any more pleasant though.
0
aeon439
Badges: 0
Rep:
?
#15
Report 7 years ago
#15
(Original post by OMGWTFBBQ)
Friends know my username here so I'm not going public with any direct quotes, but I hear some pretty unflattering things at least once a week.

I generally try and rationalise it to their overall lack of intelligence as they tend to be anthro/sport science types. Doesn't make it any more pleasant though.
That's interesting. I would have always assumed that a male would be less prone to this kind of behaviour off females due to the power dynamic ie most men are stronger than most women and therefore any woman who insults a man is risking a possible physical response lol (not to say that these days women don't do the same)

I've even experienced an unpleasant remark off a male when I was evidently cringing due to expectation of an insult (this is how badly this kind of stuff has affected me) - he muttered "I'm not going to rape you!" as he walked past, as he'd evidently sensed my fear. I wasn't fearing physical attack though, just ridicule. Male-female relations are often so
f-ked up it's laughable; why can't people just be respectful and nice to each other?
0
pandabird
Badges: 0
Rep:
?
#16
Report 7 years ago
#16
One time a year or so back, a chav in a car called out '****ing 'anging!' at me from a car window -.-

It did upset me a bit but I can only imagine what type of girls they go for and I'd be more worried if they found me attractive.
0
username930845
Badges: 9
Rep:
?
#17
Report 7 years ago
#17
:hugs: for lots of people here.

People do do this. When my psoriasis is bad, strangers like to pass comment. Sometimes it is done directly at me (a mixture of disgust and mockery usually); sometimes it is done only within earshot in a more passive sense. It hurts a lot. It makes me wonder what people say behind my back. Funnily enough, like some people have said, this tends to come mostly from young women rather than men (i.e. the oppostive gender). I have noticed that it also tends to be people in groups, trying to impress each other or win favour with the group by making someone else the victim of ridicule. It seems like a great laugh to them.

I try hard not to let it affect me. It is not an arbitration of my own self-worth. There will always be people who seek to bring you down. Perhaps it is because they are unhappy themselves. Whatever the case, don't change yourself for the sake of idiotic/cruel people; what do they know about what is beautiful?
1
swan stardust
Badges: 12
Rep:
?
#18
Report 7 years ago
#18
...
0
Sabertooth
Badges: 20
Rep:
?
#19
Report 7 years ago
#19
This used to happen so often to me when I lived in Britain, it completely destroyed my self-confidence.

Never once happened here in the US.
0
whyumadtho
Badges: 14
Rep:
?
#20
Report 7 years ago
#20
No. You should try to not apply disproportionate weight to the relatively small amount of negativity you have received; a few people who have seen you have made negative comments but thousands of people haven't.
0
X
new posts
Back
to top
Latest
My Feed

See more of what you like on
The Student Room

You can personalise what you see on TSR. Tell us a little about yourself to get started.

Personalise

Poll: What factors affect your mental health most right now? Post-lockdown edition

Anxiousness about restrictions easing (43)
5.8%
Uncertainty around my education (84)
11.34%
Uncertainty around my future career prospects (79)
10.66%
Lack of purpose or motivation (94)
12.69%
Lack of support system (eg. teachers, counsellors, delays in care) (39)
5.26%
Impact lockdown had on physical health (42)
5.67%
Social worries (incl. loneliness/making friends) (80)
10.8%
Financial worries (50)
6.75%
Concern about myself or my loves ones getting/having been ill (32)
4.32%
Exposure to negative news/social media (46)
6.21%
Difficulty accessing real life entertainment (24)
3.24%
Lack of confidence in making big life decisions (71)
9.58%
Worry about missed opportunities during the pandemic (57)
7.69%

Watched Threads

View All
Latest
My Feed