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Premarital sex: yes or no?
Firstoff let me get some facts straight:
Premarital sex = sex before marriage (duh
)
I am 18 in a months time and have yet to go out with a girl or had my first kiss
I am male (kinda obvious from above point but just in case someones half asleep)
Now I would like to know peoples opinions on premarital sex because I am unsure as to whether I would have sex before marriage or not. I know everyone who reads this is probably saying "what kinda of weirdo guy is this? He dosent want sex on sight omg kill! First let me explain my 2 contrasting opinions and see wat u make of them:
Pros:
Sex is.....good! Never had it before but that dosent mean im not a man and dont feel the same urges and desires. It's also the ultimate way of expressing ur love for ur gf in my opinion. I dont think I would have sex just for the sake of it: i think it has to mean something first but once the relationship is there and its solid then sex would be a very good way of expressing ur love.
Cons:
This is where my conscience kinda kicks in. Shouldn't I be saving myself up for marriage? If sex is the ultimate physical expression of ur love for someone (as it is in my view) then shouldnt it be between someone u truly love completely and utterly? If it is the "ultimate" way of expression it should be directed to a person who u love "absolutely" no?
The way I see it is that premarital sex is pretty common nowadays and most married couples arent virgins and have had sex before when they were going out. The fact remains however that just because the majority do it dosent necessarily mean it is right or will lead to greater happiness. Society has undergone a complete revolution when it comes to sex: the feminist movement and greater communications granted by the telephone and television has led to a society that talks more openly about sex, which is good, but also has sex alot more with none of the stigma attached to it (also good). But has it also lost the whole point of sex? People see sex now as just a bit of harmless fun: somehow i dont think it was the intention of the previous generation for this to happen.
Perhaps I am just a naive male who has never gone out with a girl or kissed one because of standards of behaviour belonging to an era that is forever dead.
I dont know: any thoughts?
Premarital sex = sex before marriage (duh
)I am 18 in a months time and have yet to go out with a girl or had my first kiss
I am male (kinda obvious from above point but just in case someones half asleep)
Now I would like to know peoples opinions on premarital sex because I am unsure as to whether I would have sex before marriage or not. I know everyone who reads this is probably saying "what kinda of weirdo guy is this? He dosent want sex on sight omg kill! First let me explain my 2 contrasting opinions and see wat u make of them:
Pros:
Sex is.....good! Never had it before but that dosent mean im not a man and dont feel the same urges and desires. It's also the ultimate way of expressing ur love for ur gf in my opinion. I dont think I would have sex just for the sake of it: i think it has to mean something first but once the relationship is there and its solid then sex would be a very good way of expressing ur love.
Cons:
This is where my conscience kinda kicks in. Shouldn't I be saving myself up for marriage? If sex is the ultimate physical expression of ur love for someone (as it is in my view) then shouldnt it be between someone u truly love completely and utterly? If it is the "ultimate" way of expression it should be directed to a person who u love "absolutely" no?
The way I see it is that premarital sex is pretty common nowadays and most married couples arent virgins and have had sex before when they were going out. The fact remains however that just because the majority do it dosent necessarily mean it is right or will lead to greater happiness. Society has undergone a complete revolution when it comes to sex: the feminist movement and greater communications granted by the telephone and television has led to a society that talks more openly about sex, which is good, but also has sex alot more with none of the stigma attached to it (also good). But has it also lost the whole point of sex? People see sex now as just a bit of harmless fun: somehow i dont think it was the intention of the previous generation for this to happen.
Perhaps I am just a naive male who has never gone out with a girl or kissed one because of standards of behaviour belonging to an era that is forever dead.
I dont know: any thoughts?
Scroll to see replies
a) How does a relationship only become 'love' the instant you get married? Plenty of Hollywood celebrities have been married a half-dozen times...
b) You cannot possibly be in a complete romantic relationship with someone until you have had sex with them. Thus, you cannot marry someone until you have had sex with them.
c) Who gives a monkey's tinkle what the previous generation thought. Sex can be an expression of love, or it can be fun. You should have a lot of it before you even think about getting married.
b) You cannot possibly be in a complete romantic relationship with someone until you have had sex with them. Thus, you cannot marry someone until you have had sex with them.
c) Who gives a monkey's tinkle what the previous generation thought. Sex can be an expression of love, or it can be fun. You should have a lot of it before you even think about getting married.
My view was always that sex is for people you think you love. When you know you love them, then you can decide to get married or not. I would say sex before marriage was ok, but that's because I don't really believe in marriage as the ultimate symbol of love for someone - if you love them then why bother spending the money to prove it? If you know you love each other, that'd be good enough for me.
But this is really a topic you will not get a definite answer on, I'll tell you that straight off.
Edit: oh yeah, and also, sex can also just be for fun.
But this is really a topic you will not get a definite answer on, I'll tell you that straight off.
Edit: oh yeah, and also, sex can also just be for fun.
well if your planning to marry someone, then im assuming you love them, so it should be allright to have sex. at the end of the day, marriage is jus someone giving you a piece of paper sayin your now joined. if you feel you love someone, and it feels right to do it, then do it, you shouldnt wait until your married if you feel its right when your with someone. sorry if that didnt make sesnse lol.
NeverBeNormal
Firstoff let me get some facts straight:
Premarital sex = sex before marriage (duh)
I am 18 in a months time and have yet to go out with a girl or had my first kiss
I am male (kinda obvious from above point but just in case someones half asleep)
Now I would like to know peoples opinions on premarital sex because I am unsure as to whether I would have sex before marriage or not. I know everyone who reads this is probably saying "what kinda of weirdo guy is this? He dosent want sex on sight omg kill! First let me explain my 2 contrasting opinions and see wat u make of them:
Pros:
Sex is.....good! Never had it before but that dosent mean im not a man and dont feel the same urges and desires. It's also the ultimate way of expressing ur love for ur gf in my opinion. I dont think I would have sex just for the sake of it: i think it has to mean something first but once the relationship is there and its solid then sex would be a very good way of expressing ur love.
Cons:
This is where my conscience kinda kicks in. Shouldn't I be saving myself up for marriage? If sex is the ultimate physical expression of ur love for someone (as it is in my view) then shouldnt it be between someone u truly love completely and utterly? If it is the "ultimate" way of expression it should be directed to a person who u love "absolutely" no?
The way I see it is that premarital sex is pretty common nowadays and most married couples arent virgins and have had sex before when they were going out. The fact remains however that just because the majority do it dosent necessarily mean it is right or will lead to greater happiness. Society has undergone a complete revolution when it comes to sex: the feminist movement and greater communications granted by the telephone and television has led to a society that talks more openly about sex, which is good, but also has sex alot more with none of the stigma attached to it (also good). But has it also lost the whole point of sex? People see sex now as just a bit of harmless fun: somehow i dont think it was the intention of the previous generation for this to happen.
Perhaps I am just a naive male who has never gone out with a girl or kissed one because of standards of behaviour belonging to an era that is forever dead.
I dont know: any thoughts?
Premarital sex = sex before marriage (duh
)I am 18 in a months time and have yet to go out with a girl or had my first kiss
I am male (kinda obvious from above point but just in case someones half asleep)
Now I would like to know peoples opinions on premarital sex because I am unsure as to whether I would have sex before marriage or not. I know everyone who reads this is probably saying "what kinda of weirdo guy is this? He dosent want sex on sight omg kill! First let me explain my 2 contrasting opinions and see wat u make of them:
Pros:
Sex is.....good! Never had it before but that dosent mean im not a man and dont feel the same urges and desires. It's also the ultimate way of expressing ur love for ur gf in my opinion. I dont think I would have sex just for the sake of it: i think it has to mean something first but once the relationship is there and its solid then sex would be a very good way of expressing ur love.
Cons:
This is where my conscience kinda kicks in. Shouldn't I be saving myself up for marriage? If sex is the ultimate physical expression of ur love for someone (as it is in my view) then shouldnt it be between someone u truly love completely and utterly? If it is the "ultimate" way of expression it should be directed to a person who u love "absolutely" no?
The way I see it is that premarital sex is pretty common nowadays and most married couples arent virgins and have had sex before when they were going out. The fact remains however that just because the majority do it dosent necessarily mean it is right or will lead to greater happiness. Society has undergone a complete revolution when it comes to sex: the feminist movement and greater communications granted by the telephone and television has led to a society that talks more openly about sex, which is good, but also has sex alot more with none of the stigma attached to it (also good). But has it also lost the whole point of sex? People see sex now as just a bit of harmless fun: somehow i dont think it was the intention of the previous generation for this to happen.
Perhaps I am just a naive male who has never gone out with a girl or kissed one because of standards of behaviour belonging to an era that is forever dead.
I dont know: any thoughts?
i stopped reading where it's bold - i've been with my current and only girlfriend for just short of 3 years now and i love her infinitely, and we express a lot of our love through sex. I think that we connect most before, during and after sex. You don't have to be married to be in love or to have sex.
And a lot of people will have had sex by the time they're married anyway. So you might still be a virgin then, but she won't. - are you going to ask your girlfriend(s)/fiancées if they're virgins before asking them out?
Sex is what you make of it. If you are having a one night stand, it is a physical thrill and fun (obviously assuming you are using protection, in which case it is a lottery). If you are in a committed relationship, married or not, it is the ultimate intimacy and brings partners together. It is perfectly possible to have both of those in your life, so I see no reason to save yourself for later - it becomes no less special just because you have done it before! Besides, if you have never done it before it won't be that great the first few times!
NeverBeNormal
Shouldn't I be saving myself up for marriage?
Unless you live in the texas bible belt, the chances are your future wife wont have saved herself too. So i dont see why you should be saving yourself, i say the pros out weight the cons.
If people want to wait until marriage then I don't have a problem with that if people decide that they want to have many one night stands again it is none of my buisness and I don't have a problem with it.
Personally I can't imagen sleeping with someone I didn't love, I fell in love with my boyfriend and slept with him, if we broke up then I wouldn't feel guilty because I don't think that I did anything wronge.
Personally I can't imagen sleeping with someone I didn't love, I fell in love with my boyfriend and slept with him, if we broke up then I wouldn't feel guilty because I don't think that I did anything wronge.
kizer
Besides, if you have never done it before it won't be that great the first few times!
SO TRUE!
yes: 2 reasons
1. True love exists before marriage and too often not during it
2. U may never get married or meet someone who you love who doesnt want marriage
1. True love exists before marriage and too often not during it
2. U may never get married or meet someone who you love who doesnt want marriage
You make some good points however surely you will only refrain from sex before marriage if you are religious?
I respect people who believe in no sex before marriage and I think it's hugely admirable, however insurmountable it might be. But on the other hand I also believe that sex is one of these things that if you leave it too long/get too nervous about it the harder it becomes to actually do.
I respect people who believe in no sex before marriage and I think it's hugely admirable, however insurmountable it might be. But on the other hand I also believe that sex is one of these things that if you leave it too long/get too nervous about it the harder it becomes to actually do.
contractador
yes: 2 reasons
1. True love exists before marriage and too often not during it
2. U may never get married or meet someone who you love who doesnt want marriage
1. True love exists before marriage and too often not during it
2. U may never get married or meet someone who you love who doesnt want marriage
Point two is a good point, If those people who do want to save themselves for marriage fell comepletely in love with a person who never wanted to get married and wouldn't budge on the issue would you break up with them?
RR
You make some good points however surely you will only refrain from sex before marriage if you are religious?
I respect people who believe in no sex before marriage and I think it's hugely admirable, however insurmountable it might be. But on the other hand I also believe that sex is one of these things that if you leave it too long/get too nervous about it the harder it becomes to actually do.
I respect people who believe in no sex before marriage and I think it's hugely admirable, however insurmountable it might be. But on the other hand I also believe that sex is one of these things that if you leave it too long/get too nervous about it the harder it becomes to actually do.
May one direct you to your nearest video rental establishment, The 40 Year Old Virgin!
Interesting cause i thought there were pratically no people that thought the way you do, nowadays.. (its a good thing not bad btw!) Personally, whilst the idea of being 'just for your husband' and 'pure' etc might seem very old fashioned and completely jane austen, i think it does make sense.. BUT if i find a guy whom i love then i would def go for it and if it doesnt work out to the point of leading to marriage then its an experience. But it all depends on when the time comes. You might meet the woman of your life for example and thats it, you get married and then have sex. But then again you might think you have found her, had sex and said '*******s, she's not the one!'.. Id take it as i go, i dont think you can say from now how you will be if and when you find someone
[quote="tom_pinnock54"]
lmao that's a brilliant film, I love it!
However I most certainly am not a virgin
RR
You make some good points however surely you will only refrain from sex before marriage if you are religious?
I respect people who believe in no sex before marriage and I think it's hugely admirable, however insurmountable it might be. But on the other hand I also believe that sex is one of these things that if you leave it too long/get too nervous about it the harder it becomes to actually do.[/QUOTE]
May one direct you to your nearest video rental establishment, The 40 Year Old Virgin!
I respect people who believe in no sex before marriage and I think it's hugely admirable, however insurmountable it might be. But on the other hand I also believe that sex is one of these things that if you leave it too long/get too nervous about it the harder it becomes to actually do.[/QUOTE]
May one direct you to your nearest video rental establishment, The 40 Year Old Virgin!
lmao that's a brilliant film, I love it!
However I most certainly am not a virgin
RR
lmao that's a brilliant film, I love it!
However I most certainly am not a virgin
tom_pinnock54
lmao that's a brilliant film, I love it!
However I most certainly am not a virgin
sorry darling, just done 2 A2 english exams, felt your point needed a quote!
RR
^^ lol but how does The 40 Year Old Virgin come into english lit?! *is confused*
it doesn't but it is somewhat relevant to the previous point and indeed the nature of the thread - the poor thread starter who is a troubled virgin, does not want to end up living alone collecting cult memorabilia surely?!
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