The Student Room Group

Sexual Partners - Is this alot!?!

I'm an 18 year old girl, will be 19 at xmas. I lost my virginity at 13 since then I have had sex with 12 different men (one I was so drunk I dont remember but I'm assuming the worst). This works out to be two per year.

Is it alot. Four were one night stands and the first three I only had sex with once cause I didn't like it. One wasn't a relationship but a very close friend and the other five were boyfriends I was serious about. I'm V V V careful use protection go to the docs if I notice anything strange ect.

Am I a slag? Is this more than anyone else? Should I be ashamed?:redface:

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Anonymous

Am I a slag? Is this more than anyone else? Should I be ashamed?:redface:


yes
no
no

simply put dont worry bout it enjoy your life you only have it once
as long as your careful
Well I'm 18 too and I've slept with none, so compared to me that's a lot but it's up to you whether you should feel ashamed or not. Nobody can tell you whether to feel bad about it or not, you either do or you don't. If I were you I wouldn't bother feeling ashamed, it won't change anything.
Reply 3
Its above average, but who cares? As Cadre_Of_Storms said, you only get one life, so you better live it.
Reply 4
This sounds rude, but I can't think of another way of phrasing it!

Are you a virgin of choice? I couldn't imagine not ever to have had sex. It is good of you to be that way though I suppose.... I'm not very ashamed it's just I've never counted before and 12 sounds like alot but 2pa seems reasonable.
Reply 5
Simple question - are you ashamed of yourself?

If you are then change your philosophy. If not, then don't.
Anonymous
This sounds rude, but I can't think of another way of phrasing it!

Are you a virgin of choice? I couldn't imagine not ever to have had sex. It is good of you to be that way though I suppose.... I'm not very ashamed it's just I've never counted before and 12 sounds like alot but 2pa seems reasonable.


Um.. well I've never had a steady boyfriend or anything but I'm not saving myself for marriage or anything. I could have had sex with a few people if I'd wanted but I don't like the idea of sleeping with someone I'm not really into just for the sake of it.
Reply 7
Anonymous
This sounds rude, but I can't think of another way of phrasing it!

Are you a virgin of choice? I couldn't imagine not ever to have had sex. It is good of you to be that way though I suppose.... I'm not very ashamed it's just I've never counted before and 12 sounds like alot but 2pa seems reasonable.


No its fine its complely up to you.

i have not slept with as many as you but enough, you can se it on that bluddy public poles that guy made . . .

13 to loose it though is quite young but again up to you

BTW i know quite a lot of girls who are 19 and still virgins as well as people who have slept with more than you. Don't think either are weird just depends on the person
Reply 8
At 13 I was an immature and stupid kid, the boy who did it hurt me in more than one way. After that I kinda bounded about until my first SERIOUS boyfriend when that was over I was gutted, more boyfriends and now I'm going through another phase.

Last friday though the guy I slept with was so nice and I enjoyed being with him so much, he's been texting me still and I'm not sure if it will go anywhere. :s-smilie: Maybe there is hope for me still.
If you're having to ask, it's clearly too many for you.
Don't think it makes a difference at all. I've stopped caring how many guys I sleep with, as long as you're safe it doesn't matter at all. It's just society trying to make us feel that is means anything.
Anonymous
Don't think it makes a difference at all. I've stopped caring how many guys I sleep with, as long as you're safe it doesn't matter at all. It's just society trying to make us feel that is means anything.


Not intending to offend you, but the fact that you feel the need to post this anonymously on the internet suggests that it's you who has a problem... not society.
I'd say that it was a lot but it's up to you what you do and only you can know if your one yourself. I lost my virginity at 16, I'm now 19 and have slept with 2 people both of which were long term boyfriends. There's nothing you can do about the number but if you think your too easy then you can always change, if you don't think your too easy then that's coolxx
Reply 13
PrinceOfCats
Not intending to offend you, but the fact that you feel the need to post this anonymously on the internet suggests that it's you who has a problem... not society.


Agreed:smile:
PrinceOfCats
Not intending to offend you, but the fact that you feel the need to post this anonymously on the internet suggests that it's you who has a problem... not society.


or maybe she just doesnt want to be neg repped for it.

op: i dont think the numbers that high. i started much later than u and i think mines slightly higher (not counted properly)
I would wonder if I didn't have self esteem issues and was having sex with strangers to affirm that other people find me attractive.

Aside from that, everything is fine. Some people would envy, others would be indifferent and some would really have a problem with you.

Hopefully you are able to be happy in yourself although if you are having sex with strangers to derive some sense of self worth...that is no way to live and is not good for your long term health, physically or mentally.

I'm a counsellor :tongue:
Reply 16
Anonymous
This sounds rude, but I can't think of another way of phrasing it!

Are you a virgin of choice? I couldn't imagine not ever to have had sex. It is good of you to be that way though I suppose.... I'm not very ashamed it's just I've never counted before and 12 sounds like alot but 2pa seems reasonable.


2 p.a. is fairly reasonable for an adult. But starting at 13 is VERY young in almost everyone's eyes. I was a virgin till I was 20: till I was 19 this was because nobody was interested enough and I was a social muppet; once I got to uni I did have opportunities but didn't want to take them just for the sake of it and I'm glad I held out till I met my boyfriend. This is later than average but not freakishly late.

I don't think you have to be ashamed unless you behave in a shameful way.
Reply 17
Wonderboy Blue
I would wonder if I didn't have self esteem issues and was having sex with strangers to affirm that other people find me attractive.

Aside from that, everything is fine. Some people would envy, others would be indifferent and some would really have a problem with you.

Hopefully you are able to be happy in yourself although if you are having sex with strangers to derive some sense of self worth...that is no way to live and is not good for your long term health, physically or mentally.

I'm a counsellor :tongue:


As far as my original post was concerned only four of the twelve were strangers and only one a 'complete' stranger. For a counsellor you don't comprendez much do ya!?! :wink:
PrinceOfCats
Not intending to offend you, but the fact that you feel the need to post this anonymously on the internet suggests that it's you who has a problem... not society.


Actually it's because I know I'll be judged unfairly!
Is it a lot? It depends on the person. Some people just happen to be very sexually active at a relatively young age and sleep with people they found very attractive and only because of that. Fair play.

But then there are the people who just never knew how to say "no", or who did it to fit into a group, or to feel attractive by sleeping with random people, or because they were emotionally messed up.

It is just a number but quite often, when someone tells you about their past and how they are with other people, with people of the opposite sex, it can make a lot of sense so to anyone who says that the number doesn't mean anything, it can mean a lot. Of course, we'd all like to believe we're free spirits, not held down by what our social class, ethnicity, age, nationality, job, sexual past are but the fact of the matter is that they do.