Huge culture shock.

Hey, I'm a 17 year old American guy and I just moved here. I recently started college in London and I'm finding it really hard to adapt. British people are just so hard to socialize with for some reason. I've been going to college for a month and I don't really have friends yet. Just a handful of people that I talk to when I see them. What should I do? Another problem, but I won't make it that big of a deal. I haven't been getting any action since I left the states. How can I get a make out or a lay here? British girls are so different compared to American girls so I don't think anything I do will actually work on them

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Reply 1

moonziggy

that's interesting, in what way are we difficult to socialize with and how are the girls different? To answer your question, go out clubbing on the weekend and you should get some action. The reason you might not have made any proper friends could be because people already have their friendship groups..maybe you should try and make more of an effort with people, just give it time, you will eventually make friends. :smile:

Reply 2

OMGWTFBBQ

Brits are very wary of that brand of overfamiliarity that all Americans seem to have.

Reply 3

confiderox22

I just feel like when I approach someone I don't really know and try to spark up a conversation, the impression they give is "Dude, get the eff out of my face right now". I even spoke to British people about it and they admitted that they are quite anti-social and they prefer to be left alone.

Reply 4

confiderox22

Original post by OMGWTFBBQ

Brits are very wary of that brand of overfamiliarity that all Americans seem to have.

I would just say that we're actually open to meeting new people and having a big social circle.

Reply 5

confiderox22

The funny thing is that most people I've spoken to say they really love my accent. I guess I've broken the ice with a few of them but I don't know if I can really classify them as my friends.

Reply 6

desdemonata

Original post by confiderox22

We are less friendly when we first meet people, more reserved. It's once we get to know them that we are more like ourselves :smile:

I would recommend trying to talk about something you have in common. Asking about homework, complaining about the weather, etc. Leave non-college topics for a little later, like sports or TV shows. Don't be "the american", be "__, who's american". I know it sounds a bit odd but try and get them to see you're just like them. That you too hate your Geography teacher and like to gripe about things. I moved abroad and it took a while to just be me, rather than "the Brit, the one that will be reserved and have an odd sense of humour".

Another good approach is to laugh at yourself a little bit. We all appreciate it when someone isn't so full of themselves they can be self-deprecating. So maybe make fun of your accent a little bit, or American football, or something like that.

(edited 10 years ago)

Reply 7

beccagood95

Yeah, an American girl in one of my uni seminars said the same thing.
I think you really just need to speak up and encourage them to have a conversation. If there are people you talk to, invite them somewhere. Maybe go to the pub, watch a sport or an activity of some sort? Worst case scenario, they'll say no, but I bet they'll appreciate someone making the move to make an actual friend rather than an acquaintance.
Are there any clubs/societies you can join?

Reply 8

Apocrypha

You came to the wrong place to get laid, many London girls are very far up their own backside (not all, many) Although youre American so i dont know, maybe its because youre only 17 and most girls that age are scared of being called a slut..

Reply 9

confiderox22

I already do all that! Hahahah. I complain about some of my teachers, the weather, and I know how to laugh at myself. I do sometimes make fun of myself, things I do and my clunsy tendencies. But still. It's kinda frustrating cause it's usually not a very two-sided conversation.

Reply 10

confiderox22

Original post by Apocrypha

To be honest I'm not even that bothered about the whole getting laid part. I don't even know why I added that in, I'll just take each day as it comes.

Reply 11

Apocrypha

Original post by confiderox22

To be honest I'm not even that bothered about the whole getting laid part. I don't even know why I added that in, I'll just take each day as it comes.

Well, and American guy in London wouldnt have the same effect as an English dude in Chicago, if that makes sense, I think the American accent isnt as 'seductive' as an English accent would be in Chicago or something..

Reply 12

confiderox22

Original post by Apocrypha

That's totally right. The most I'd get is "I love your accent, where are you from?... OMG I love New York." So nothing too major.

Reply 13

Bassetts

Original post by confiderox22

Tell me about it. I've been living in this country all my life, I'm naturally quiet and introverted, I'm 23 years old virgin never kissed :redface:

A depressing thought. I wonder how different it would have been had I lived in the States :colondollar:

Reply 14

confiderox22

Original post by Bassetts

Tell me about it. I've been living in this country all my life, I'm naturally quiet and introverted, I'm 23 years old virgin never kissed :redface:

A depressing thought. I wonder how different it would have been had I lived in the States :colondollar:

Look up "Staten Island" on YouTube and watch the first video. Should be called "Staten Island Rant" one of my neighbors speaking his mind. Wait until he gets asked about sex on SI. That should answer your question.

Reply 15

Bassetts

Original post by confiderox22

Is that the video in black and white with the guy lying on the bed with the baseball cap? I couldn't listen to more than 5 seconds of that. His voice is too annoying. Can you point me to the part of the video which has this thing you want me to listen to?

Reply 16

OMGWTFBBQ

Original post by confiderox22

I would just say that we're actually open to meeting new people and having a big social circle.

Absolutely, but the approach we expect is very different to that in America - much more reserved.

My mate (shared with for 3 years now) is American and it took him a while to adapt to our style of getting to know people. He had done a bit of research before moving so he had some idea of what to expect. I love it when his parents visit - the way they behave is so different it really emphases how much of a deliberate effort he made to adjust here!

The best advice I can give is to tone yourself down and be less familiar (which doesn't necessarily mean less friendly or talkative.)

Reply 17

abc_1234

Original post by confiderox22

I absolutely agree with this statement. The girls especially are so ****ing uptight and reserved it's ****ing ridiculous. And it's funny how people you're familiar with/talk to every week choose to completely avoid eye contact and disregard you.

****.

Reply 18

IntoTheWater

Yeah I know how you must be feeling. I've been here for 3 months and it's so hard to make friends. I'm on speaking terms with a few people but sometimes I just don't know if they are avoiding me or not. Some people are just so formal. And the boys... well I have no idea what to do with them, they are like big cold cubes of ice. :sad: