(Lads) I can't approach girls...

I've slept with girls I've met on nights out once or twice, I've had sex with girls I already know plenty of times and I've been in 3 real relationships...

But not once have I ever chased/won a girl, or been the one to "begin the build up" which leads to sex/relationship.. or even approached a girl and got her number.

Most of my sex life / relationships have been with girls I already knew from the past/school/hanging around as a teenager etc etc...

Like my most recent ex, we'd already been friends for 7 years, my ex before her... I went to school with her when we were younger, I had a one night stand with a girl I know from... I don't have a clue, I just know her from the area friends of friends and we had chatted a few times...

Each time they've reached out to me, got my number, my BB pin.. added me on facebook, somehow got talking to me and things went from there...

I've slept with 2 girls from nights out in Manchester, 1 approached me asked my name and told me to get the drinks in, the other was a girl I just happened to be dancing with proper drunk and she just starting kissing me...

I'm completely comfortable with girls when they've acknowledged me or even better when I know they're interested...

But I've never had the balls to "go in cold", I sat down at the train station not long ago 1 seat away from a girl I thought was quite pretty and looked friendly enough, I was DYING to start chatting to her inside but I just didn't make the move, she got on a different train and I was kicking myself...

It's happened once or twice in other situations where I've wanted to start talking to a girl and hopefully get a number but I've never made the move...

I obviously know how to get a girl but that's with girls who already know who I am and show interest in me..

Thing is I've never even tried out my game (if I even have any game?) on a random girl.. never even talked to or got a phone number off a random girl in my life...

I need tips

(edited 10 years ago)

Reply 1

Eboracum

And you think you've got problems? My football team has only won 3 out of its first 8 games. Now that's a real problem.

Sounds like you are not doing to badly lad.

Reply 2

Bassetts

You sound like every normal guy who has had a relationship. They get to know girls through friends, or build relationships with existing female friends. I don't know anyone who approaches girls in trains or cafes and gets sex or a relationship from it.

Reply 3

christopher23

Man i know what you mean, i hate seeing a hot female on the bus/train and not having the balls to say something, especially when my annoying mind is playing all these scenes of how beautiful our kids would be.

Reply 4

bazookabrad

Original post by Eboracum

And you think you've got problems? My football team has only won 3 out of its first 8 games. Now that's a real problem.

Sounds like you are not doing to badly lad.

Turns out I'm no better off than you

Reply 5

Eboracum

Original post by bazookabrad

Turns out I'm no better off than you

I strongly dislike David Moyes. I wish he would leave the club. I wish you every success with your future female endeavours however.

Reply 6

martin jol

wow man well done you get laid and don't put any effort in!

teach me.

Reply 7

bazookabrad

Original post by martin jol

wow man well done you get laid and don't put any effort in!

teach me.

I haven't had sex for over 7 months, I broke up with my ex last year, then had an F buddy thing going on for a while with an ex from a few years back... and then that's it, not had sex since the end of February..

I've had opportunities like with ex the I last had sex with but I'm not interested,

I want to meet a nice new girl with a bit of intelligence and brightness about her because I've never had a decent classy girl in my life, only easy slags and heartless witches who were never worth it...

So how about you teach me?

(edited 10 years ago)

Reply 8

martin jol

Original post by bazookabrad

I haven't had sex for over 7 months, I broke up with my ex last year, then had an F buddy thing going on for a while with an from a few years back... and then that's it, not had sex since the end of February..

I've had opportunities like with ex the I last had sex with but I'm not interested,

I want to meet a nice new girl with a bit of intelligence and brightness about her because I've never had a decent classy girl in my life, only easy slags and heartless witches who were never worth it...

So how about you teach me?

i wish i could :frown:

Reply 9

Lotus_Eater

I'm reminded of another thread on TSR recently where the question concerned the anxieties of how to invest an inheritance. I applaud the OP's ambition but approaching random women and successfully sleeping with them is something relatively few people accomplish. Getting together with people you already know to some degree is both more common and I would have thought more desirable in terms of likelihood of a relationship developing.

That said, approaching a stranger in a bar is much easier than on a train or at the shops - so hone your technique somewhere that is reasonably normal to approach women before taking it out onto the street. So to speak.

Reply 10

goldie56

Original post by Eboracum

And you think you've got problems? My football team has only won 3 out of its first 8 games. Now that's a real problem.

Sounds like you are not doing to badly lad.

I thought you were on about a pub team at first, then I realised it was about Utd under Moyes

Reply 11

Anonymous #1

I'm a fish out of water with women. I don't have the confidence to speak to girls I like, because that was damaged at school thanks to early-developing neanderthals such as OP who think they're entitled to the hottest women and the best sex/social lives, while thin, awkward, childlike adolescents like myself are just left with nerdy/ugly women, and we're expected to be content with that. You moan that you haven't had sex in 7 months like it's such an awful thing... I've never even kissed a girl and I live a reasonably happy life.

Can I just ask, why do people feel such an overwhelming need to have a relationship and a sex life, even when they're not infatuated with someone? It doesn't make sense. Don't you realise how primitive that sounds? If anything it shows that you're desperate...

Reply 12

Acceptable

Just do it. If you see a girl you think is pretty and you want to talk to her, then just do it. Girls like the idea of being 'noticed' by a guy in an everyday situation where they're not glammed up with makeup/short dresses, but are in a more casual, comfortable setting.

Easier said than done to just 'go ahead and do it' but just treat it as a spur of the moment thing and don't give it a second thought.

Best of luck :tongue:

Reply 13

MelanieDickson

Might be worth just generally improving your ability to approach random people. Don't start with people you're attracted to - you're biting off more than you can chew. Just in bars, or out and about, work on talking to random strangers. Saying "hey, cool shirt," or "damn, we've been waiting for service a long time" and improve your confidence in striking up conversations. Not only will you improve your ability to socialize with new people, but you'll be able to get used to rejection, if it happens. Cause it can happen. Sometimes people just don't want to talk or aren't interested. So instead of the first girl you talk to potentially rejecting you, meaning you lose the will to approach anyone ever again, you'll just go "huh, guess she didn't want to talk" and get on with life.

Like a lot of skills, it's just practice.

Reply 14

username1114381

I'm a fish out of water with women. I don't have the confidence to speak to girls I like, because that was damaged at school thanks to early-developing, hot-bitch-hogging neanderthals such as OP who think they're entitled to the hottest women and the best sex/social lives, while thin, awkward, childlike adolescents like me are shunned, intimidated and ridiculed by your sort in the sexual battlefield, to be left with nerdy/ugly women and rotten eggs, and we're expected to be content with that because that's just life and natural selection, apparently. You moan that you haven't had sex in 7 months as though you're having a mid-life crisis... I've never even kissed a girl and I couldn't give a crap.

(edited 10 years ago)

Reply 15

JB20

Original post by JamesTheCool

Evidently you do give a crap by that post.

Reply 16

MelanieDickson

Original post by JamesTheCool

"People shunned me. People damaged my confidence. People are so horrible. Just because I'm not perfect."

"We get left with the nerd/ugly women and rotten eggs."

:rolleyes: