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Man Troubles!
Right. So, here's the story:
I've been good friends with a guy for quite a while now, and a few weeks ago we were drunk and we were quite intimate, if you know what i mean. Anyway, we haven't talked about it since. I really really like him, but I don't know how he feels. We've seen each other quite a bit since, and it was awkward at first, but now it's just back to being friends like we were before. I don't know if he just used me, or if he genuinely likes me and just isn't acting any differently because he thought I classed it as a stupid mistake or whatever. I know the only way to find out is to ask him, but how do I bring it up?? Also, so many people have warned me not to do anything else with him, cuz he has a bit of a reputation.
What do you guys think?
I've been good friends with a guy for quite a while now, and a few weeks ago we were drunk and we were quite intimate, if you know what i mean. Anyway, we haven't talked about it since. I really really like him, but I don't know how he feels. We've seen each other quite a bit since, and it was awkward at first, but now it's just back to being friends like we were before. I don't know if he just used me, or if he genuinely likes me and just isn't acting any differently because he thought I classed it as a stupid mistake or whatever. I know the only way to find out is to ask him, but how do I bring it up?? Also, so many people have warned me not to do anything else with him, cuz he has a bit of a reputation.
What do you guys think?
Anyone? 
I think this is very much of a natural process. I won't rule out that sex being "at the spur of the moment", but he could have deeper and more genuine intentions as well. If he does, I'm sure he'll drop further hints along the way which you will most definitely pick up, and presto, you may very well find yourself confronted by the possibility of a relationship. Always keep in mind your friends' advice though, because they may know other sides of him that you've never been exposed to. Of course, be certain that they're not discouraging you out of jealousy.
I stress that this advice is unprofessional.
I stress that this advice is unprofessional.
you gotta talk to him about how you feel, but if your friends are saying he is a first class loser/user then he probs ain't worth your time as you will only get hurt in the long run.
If loads of people have warned you of, thats gotta tell you something. Personally i would talk to the guy, say how you were surprised how you drifted but don't really want anything more to do with him. In saying this, YOU have to do what feels right.
Graham
If loads of people have warned you of, thats gotta tell you something. Personally i would talk to the guy, say how you were surprised how you drifted but don't really want anything more to do with him. In saying this, YOU have to do what feels right.
Graham
Anonymous
Right. So, here's the story:
I've been good friends with a guy for quite a while now, and a few weeks ago we were drunk and we were quite intimate, if you know what i mean. Anyway, we haven't talked about it since. I really really like him, but I don't know how he feels. We've seen each other quite a bit since, and it was awkward at first, but now it's just back to being friends like we were before. I don't know if he just used me, or if he genuinely likes me and just isn't acting any differently because he thought I classed it as a stupid mistake or whatever. I know the only way to find out is to ask him, but how do I bring it up?? Also, so many people have warned me not to do anything else with him, cuz he has a bit of a reputation.
What do you guys think?
I've been good friends with a guy for quite a while now, and a few weeks ago we were drunk and we were quite intimate, if you know what i mean. Anyway, we haven't talked about it since. I really really like him, but I don't know how he feels. We've seen each other quite a bit since, and it was awkward at first, but now it's just back to being friends like we were before. I don't know if he just used me, or if he genuinely likes me and just isn't acting any differently because he thought I classed it as a stupid mistake or whatever. I know the only way to find out is to ask him, but how do I bring it up?? Also, so many people have warned me not to do anything else with him, cuz he has a bit of a reputation.
What do you guys think?
you must communicate with him if you want to know. and not just by dropping hints, by asking him clearly what he thinks about what happened. don't say things like "if you know what i mean" because no, he might not know what you mean. i didn't know what you meant by intimate. it could be close to any extent. just be straight up with him and say "i'd like to talk about what happened on ...." however, have made up your own mind about him beforehand, there is no point in asking if you are unsure about him yourself.
Thanks for all your advice. I really don't know what to think. I have liked him since we became friends, but we have both had other relationships. Friends say that there has always been soemthing between us however. I know that my friends are just looking out for me when they say be careful, i know that he has cheated on girlfriends in the past. But it seems like it's just been "forgotten" about and that is the last thing I want to happen. I don't want to bring it up and make everything awkward between us, but i don't want to lose my chance. What should I do?
Ive been in this position as well, its really awkward, like REALLY awkward.
I know that :-(
What did you do about it?
What did you do about it?
Well your situation is a bit better because you have actually talked, we havent and it happened months ago, we have totally drifted apart.
But I see is as a mistake, whereas you seem to see it differently.
But I see is as a mistake, whereas you seem to see it differently.
We haven't actually talked about that though, I'm scared we never will and it will be forgotten.
It doesn't help that all of our friends know about it and make snide comments wheneva they can.
I don't see it as a mistake, but he might have done. I duno how to find out...
It doesn't help that all of our friends know about it and make snide comments wheneva they can.
I don't see it as a mistake, but he might have done. I duno how to find out...
Have a chat with him, if he's your friend invite him out for a drink or something as mates should not be 2 hard.
The just ask why you have not talked about it much and you were wondering what he thought about it. Say what you think and then just wait, you will feel better cause atleast you will know and it won't be on your mind.
Hope this helps
Zav
The just ask why you have not talked about it much and you were wondering what he thought about it. Say what you think and then just wait, you will feel better cause atleast you will know and it won't be on your mind.
Hope this helps
Zav
Ha! Been in exactly the same position, but gender reversal... I just basically came out with "look, about the other day... what are your thoughts?"
She gave me the brush off
She gave me the brush off
He has still been flirting with me, but he does flirt with everyone, so that might not mean anything.
Anon - That's exactly why I'm too scared to bring up the subject.
Anon - That's exactly why I'm too scared to bring up the subject.
Anonymous
He has still been flirting with me, but he does flirt with everyone, so that might not mean anything.
Anon - That's exactly why I'm too scared to bring up the subject.
Anon - That's exactly why I'm too scared to bring up the subject.
well my advice then is to bring it up in conversation in a way which gives you a way out if it seems that he's not interested - don't do what I did and just come out with it, you may be left with egg on your face like I was! But then again, I managed to make a lame joke out of it straight after, which helped to qualm the awkardness/embarrassment to an extent!
We're never alone though! We're always with other friends, when we're together. Boo. I need to get him on his own!
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