I feel like a fraud

People are always telling me what a great person I am, that I'm funny, pretty, clever or something.

The rational part of me wants to be happy and to believe what they're saying to be true, but I have this huge irrational side that doesn't believe it. They don't really mean what they say, they're laughing at my expense. Even if they do mean it now, there's only a matter of time before they realise they were wrong.

I can't seem to accept that people actually like me for being me and don't have some sort of ulterior motive. I don't see how they can think I'm this great person when I know myself that I'm not. Surely they can't believe it themselves.

Last year, I was very depressed and all I wanted was to be happy, and for people to like me. Now that seems to be happening I can't accept it.

To be honest, I don't think I've ever taken compliments very well. Without trying to blame my family, they are quite "stiff upper lip," and acheivements arent always praised. any thing "bad" is frowned upon, but they almost expect that we will do well.

As a kid I was always the loner at school, I didn't really have proper friends til my teens, and I suppose that somewhere along the line I convinced myself that I wasn't worthy of friends and that was why I didn't have any. Now I do have friends, it seems, well, wierd, and my lack of "worthiness" is still there, in the back of my mind, and I forever question why they would want to be my friend.

Reply 1

Nutter

I wouldn't say that this condition is extremely prevalent, but it's common enough for you not to be too worried over. Really, this sense of insecurity is very much an integral part of the process of growing up and maturity. Some would experience it to a greater extent, while the more fortunate ones who receive additional support would not be asking themselves such questions as much.

Whatever the case, know that it is likely that they DO like you for who you are, and you need to raise that self-esteem of yours a notch higher because you probably are a, for lack of a more appropriate word, better person than whom you consider yourself to be.

Food for thought: perception is reality.

Reply 2

Laika

You're obviously aware of the fact that you're insecurities are just that - insecurities. So you must know on some level that there's no need for you to think that way. I'm in a similar position, very insecure about the way people view me despite ahving some loving friends. It's easy to feel disliked or betrayed by people.

In summary I don't have any advice.