The Student Room Group

i dont know what to think of this

ive fancied someone for about 6 months, and he knows i fancy him. ive fallen in love with him..(lust). its caused me a lot of pain, ive shed a lot of tears and this morning he knocked on the door and came through my classroom at school and i felt this sudden hatred for him. i cant explain it, i fancy him, love him to bits yet i felt like i hated him.

well has anyone felt like this before and can they explain this?
Reply 1
Yeh its probably just frustration, I think you need to jump him in the corridor.

If it goes well then you're sorted for the summer :wink: otherwise, it will be forgotten by the time you get back from the summer break :P:
Reply 2
My guess is that you don't actually love him, or lust after him but subconciously you have ploughed a lot of emotions into him. If you've felt down maybe transfering your feelings onto something or someone else made you feel better. So 'fancying' him picked you up a bit. Now that you've invested so much emotionally into him and recieved nothing back you are trying to push anger onto him in order to distance yourself from him. Sort of in a 'Yeah well I never liked him anyway' way.
Why dont you just ask him out? If he says yes then you are sorted for a good time, if he says no you can move on with no regrets?
BlackHawk
My guess is that you don't actually love him, or lust after him but subconciously you have ploughed a lot of emotions into him. If you've felt down maybe transfering your feelings onto something or someone else made you feel better. So 'fancying' him picked you up a bit. Now that you've invested so much emotionally into him and recieved nothing back you are trying to push anger onto him in order to distance yourself from him. Sort of in a 'Yeah well I never liked him anyway' way.


I'd go along with this myself, from personal experience of having done something like this myself (but with no hatred and little anger, just frustration boiling over) :redface:
Reply 5
i cant go out with him or jump him, hes already taken, but i dont know how to deal with this, i felt soo angry, like i really hated him though at the same time i was thinking he looked nice.. yeah blackhawks advice was spot on, but how should i deal with this?
Reply 6
Anonymous
i cant go out with him or jump him, hes already taken, but i dont know how to deal with this, i felt soo angry, like i really hated him though at the same time i was thinking he looked nice.. yeah blackhawks advice was spot on, but how should i deal with this?


Well you didnt mention that bit :p:

Find someone who you know dislikes him and get them to convince you that hes an idiot and isnt worth the effort, then find someone who is :biggrin:
Reply 7
Well you need to realise that you have to deal with your own emotions rather than putting them on other people. Try going out and really enjoying yourself doing something that you love. Spend some time with family or friends just chilling out and relaxing. Don't go out and try to pull some other bloke or try to find someone new to fancy. That's just transferring the problem onto someone else.
Reply 8
Sounds like you neither love him nor hate him. When you have strong feelings for someone they can flip from one extreme to the other quickly. Tell they guiy how you feel (as in, you like him) and see how it goes.
Reply 9
It takes time.
There's not alot you can do about it when a guy you fancy is already taken i'm afraid, sooner you move on the better you will be.
Reply 11
BlackHawk
My guess is that you don't actually love him, or lust after him but subconciously you have ploughed a lot of emotions into him. If you've felt down maybe transfering your feelings onto something or someone else made you feel better. So 'fancying' him picked you up a bit. Now that you've invested so much emotionally into him and recieved nothing back you are trying to push anger onto him in order to distance yourself from him. Sort of in a 'Yeah well I never liked him anyway' way.



do you think seeing a councellor will help me deal with my feelings, because what is said in the quote above just about sums it up, and im finding it soo hard to deal with. the situation is a bit more complex than i have told you, but what i have told you sums it up. i really dont what to do.
ive started thinking about self harming, i know its not right, i havnt started but i feel like doing it, but ive managed to not do it sooo far..cos i know its not the right thing to do