First time...

Basically i have started to go out with a guy who is older and a lot more sexually experienced than me. I am a virgin, and oral and being fingered is as far as i have gone, with both my previous boyfriend and this current one.

The problem is that being fingered hurts me quite a lot and i gather from friends that this is not particularly normal. My boyfriend knows about my lack of sexual experience which i am glad about but it kind of makes me feel embarrassed, especially to tell him that even being fingered hurts. The worst thing is that his manhood is extremely large and considering how tight i appear to be we both anticipate problems when it comes to having sex!

I know the first time hurts for a lot of people but i feel in an even worse position since none of my friends hurt when doing anything else! Has anyone else been in this position? It's starting to affect how comfortable i am around him cuz i feel really nervous and embarrassed about the pain, yet i know this is ridiculous as i really like him and do want stuff to happen.

I apologise for such a rambling post but just wondered what other people's takes were on this. Cheers.

Reply 1

TrentEnd

take your time, there's no rush, and relax!

Reply 2

Holliver!

Beacuse you're worried about it, it will probably hurt more and you'll be all tense. Just relax and take your time, and ask him to go slow. The more aroused that you are, the less painful it will be. I find it can sometimes be painful still, but you just goota relax and make your you're ready for it all. I wouldn't worry about it, I'm sure your boyfriend understands that your probably more anxious because you're less experienced than him, but don't let it get you down! It'll get much better, I PROMISE :smile:

Reply 3

helloworld

just relax and dont worry once youve become more relaxed with him then take it further he wont pressure you and if he does then you know hes not a nice guy!

Reply 4

cloudofcalm

Calm down. First time can be completely NON-painful, and worrying over it will cause you to tighten the muscles down there, which makes the whole thing harder! :rolleyes:

He should work on making you nice and relaxed, comfortable, and turned on. The body produces a natural lubricant in those circumstances, that makes it much easier. If you think about it, you ought to be able to fit a great deal in there, because a baby can come out of there, and when aroused, the vagina can stretch to a great deal.

Once you ARE comfortable, it might be a good idea to use KY jelly or some other extra lubricant to make things easier. Take things nice and slowly. He ought to be able to help.

Reply 5

Anonymous #2

Firstly, are you sure your boyfriend is being sufficiently gentle when fingering you? Also check that his fingernails are short and smooth, as any rough edges are bound to hurt. There might not be such a direct relation between pain while being fingered and pain while having sex - speaking from experience, there is a big difference between having fingers stuck up you and having a penis do the same. Fingers are an angular shape with potentially sharp nails and tips, while a penis is smooth skin. Just make sure you're well lubricated, as that will make everything so much easier. Good luck!