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I can't look at my friend the same way anymore

Last weekend my mates were round my house for a drink and after a good few bottles the talk turned to sex as it often does in groups of lads. The topic specifically was "the weirdest thing you've ever done during sex" and since I'm quite vanilla in that regard I didn't have anything particularly interesting to say.
My of my mates however told us that last year he'd been pegged (urban dictionary it) by a girl and now and can't climax if there isn't at least a finger up there.
Needless to say the rest of us were a bit freaked out and ever since then things between us have felt different somehow. Since I'm aware this is my problem and not his I want to know what you think I should do to get over the idea and act normally around him since he's one of my oldest friends. On a related note, is he right? The idea has always creeped me out but if I know he's at least talking sense I might understand it more.
Reply 1
If I'm being honest I find it weird that you're judging him on his sex life. What he gets up to is nothing to do with you or your friendship and I find it really immature that you're "creeped out" by it.

You may not want to discuss with him his sexual experiences because you're not comfortable with it (totally fair enough) but to say you're acting weird around him in my book is just a little sad.
You are the weird one here in my opinion, sorry pal x
He's unlikely to ask you to recreate any such action, so your relationship hasn't changed. You were friends with him when you didn't know it had happened.. the only thing that has changed is your knowledge. Trust me, everyone will have things that you don't know about them that you would rather not.

If you were playing a game called "the weirdest thing you've ever done during sex" then it stands to reason that you're going to get some pretty weird things.
Reply 4
Original post by Hana_87
If I'm being honest I find it weird that you're judging him on his sex life. What he gets up to is nothing to do with you or your friendship and I find it really immature that you're "creeped out" by it.

You may not want to discuss with him his sexual experiences because you're not comfortable with it (totally fair enough) but to say you're acting weird around him in my book is just a little sad.

I don't disagree with you, I think I'm acting silly but I just feel like he's a bit different from the way I thought he was
Reply 5
Do you think it's worth talking to him about it, maybe that'll help me get my head around it. As I said I'm under no illusions about this being my fault. Perhaps I'm more judgmental than I thought.
Reply 6
Original post by ZuluJobo
Do you think it's worth talking to him about it, maybe that'll help me get my head around it. As I said I'm under no illusions about this being my fault. Perhaps I'm more judgmental than I thought.


Talk about what? It's none of your business!

Who knows he may have even been joking, or he may not. Either way I don't see how it changes anything. He's straight, right? You're being very judgemental yes.
He performed a sexual act with a female alone, okay it's a bit specialist but its not gay.
Reply 8
Original post by WoodyMKC
He performed a sexual act with a female alone, okay it's a bit specialist but its not gay.

I'm not bothered about it being gay, if he'd had sex with a man I'd be fine with it. As people have helpfully pointed out I should probably just leave this alone.
Original post by ZuluJobo
I'm not bothered about it being gay, if he'd had sex with a man I'd be fine with it. As people have helpfully pointed out I should probably just leave this alone.


Then what is it that creeps you out specifically? I assume that by having sex with a guy you mean anal, so what is it about fingers that bothers you? Is it because you find the thought unhygienic? Do you see it as an odd thing to do with a girl?
Reply 10
Original post by desdemonata
Then what is it that creeps you out specifically? I assume that by having sex with a guy you mean anal, so what is it about fingers that bothers you? Is it because you find the thought unhygienic? Do you see it as an odd thing to do with a girl?

I didn't want to put it bluntly in the original post but being pegged basically refers anal intercourse with a strap-on, the reason I'm perturbed by it is that it seems to be a somewhat aggressive thing to do between a man and a woman. The reason homosexuals do it (as far as I know) is that it's the only form of penetrative intercourse available to them. As I wrote earlier I'm quite vanilla when it comes to matters such as these and so the idea of doing that with a woman is pretty far out of my comfort zone.
Original post by ZuluJobo
I didn't want to put it bluntly in the original post but being pegged basically refers anal intercourse with a strap-on, the reason I'm perturbed by it is that it seems to be a somewhat aggressive thing to do between a man and a woman. The reason homosexuals do it (as far as I know) is that it's the only form of penetrative intercourse available to them. As I wrote earlier I'm quite vanilla when it comes to matters such as these and so the idea of doing that with a woman is pretty far out of my comfort zone.


I know what pegging is. I assumed you were talking about his need to be fingered to reach orgasm.

Anal sex is pleasurable for pretty much all guys, you know. You all have prostates :tongue: and it doesn't have to be aggressive just because it's anal - in fact you need to be careful to make sure you don't hurt them. Just because it's pegging doesn't mean it's a brutal dominatrix kind of affair :smile:
How do you feel about, as it were, "normal" anal sex with the girl being the receiver?
Reply 12
Original post by ZuluJobo
I didn't want to put it bluntly in the original post but being pegged basically refers anal intercourse with a strap-on, the reason I'm perturbed by it is that it seems to be a somewhat aggressive thing to do between a man and a woman. The reason homosexuals do it (as far as I know) is that it's the only form of penetrative intercourse available to them. As I wrote earlier I'm quite vanilla when it comes to matters such as these and so the idea of doing that with a woman is pretty far out of my comfort zone.


Firstly whatever he does in his private life has nothing to do with you and shouldn't effect you in anyway.

And if he enjoys it then so what? Obviously you being a vanilla takes a huge part in this because you've obviously not experimented or had much experience whatsoever.

Just forget about it, you're supposed to be his friend not a judgmental dimwit.

EDIT: Also, it sounds like you're trying to put out that he may be gay just because he likes receiving, well it's not. You don't call a girl gay if she gets it like that do you? No.
(edited 10 years ago)
Man I hope none of your partners ever has a fetish.
Reply 14
Original post by ZuluJobo
Do you think it's worth talking to him about it, maybe that'll help me get my head around it. As I said I'm under no illusions about this being my fault. Perhaps I'm more judgmental than I thought.


Why do you need to talk about this especially since you're both lads? Why do you care what he does in the bedroom? If anything, I respect your mate for telling people that (drunk or not) and he seems like a pretty secure chap.

None of your business.

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Reply 15
It's up to him what he likes and you shouldn't judge him because of it - doesn't change the person you became friends with after all! On the other hand, you are completely entitled to choose your friends, even if you decide to do it with such irrelevant / judgemental criteria.

There's nothing wrong with the fact that this creeps you out - nothing you can do about that - but if you let it change the way you treat this guy or let it affect your friendship with him, then I'd say there's something wrong.

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