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What is your opinion on 'full time mums'?

Would you say that being a full time mum is a good reason not to work or is it an excuse? I ask because a woman in her 30's said to me 'Ive never really had a job Ive got 3 kids and have been a full time mum for 18 years thats work in itself. I think of my aunt though who has worked full time as a nurse/team leader all her life. She is divorced and has had to bring up a teenager, she also had a son when she was 40 (when she was still married). When her husband cheated on he and left her she was left with a teenage son and an infant to bring up whilst still working full time. She had to drop them off at school, go to work, pick them up then carry out motherly duties/housework in the evenings with the stress of her career too. So it is possible.

Just wondered what are peoples opinions on this?

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Reply 1
Original post by inthedark1
Would you say that being a full time mum is a good reason not to work or is it an excuse? I ask because a woman in her 30's said to me 'Ive never really had a job Ive got 3 kids and have been a full time mum for 18 years thats work in itself. I think of my aunt though who has worked full time as a nurse/team leader all her life. She is divorced and has had to bring up a teenager, she also had a son when she was 40 (when she was still married). When her husband cheated on he and left her she was left with a teenage son and an infant to bring up whilst still working full time. She had to drop them off at school, go to work, pick them up then carry out motherly duties/housework in the evenings with the stress of her career too. So it is possible.

Just wondered what are peoples opinions on this?


I've noticed many people claiming it to be an excuse for the Mother not to work, particularly on young, single mums. It is much more difficult for single mothers in many cases, I would guess. I'm also guessing that only people without children of their own say these kinds of things.
Reply 2
It shows your dedication and love for your children :smile: Obv other working mums will have the same love and dedication but might have to work to pay the bills but if you can stop to raise your children then i see it as a good thing. If a mum wants to leave the world and bring up her children then I only see it as a good thing :biggrin:
Reply 3
Ideal. :colone:

At least until work fits around life and not the other way around.
Reply 4
My mum raised 3 kids by herself whilst working full-time.

Being a full-time mother it's another way of saying "I'm lazy and I want to use my kids as work"
Reply 5
I don't think there's anything wrong with being a housewife if your other half makes a lot of money but i hate how people try and make 'full time mum' sound like a career or something- as if other mums with jobs are only part time mums. All mums are full time mums. I'm not saying its not hard to bring up a child but a lot of them seem to think that they have such a hard life when a lot of people juggle a full time job as well as bringing up children.

It's like they're desperately trying to prove something.
(edited 10 years ago)
Reply 6
I want that for a wife. I don't mind if I'm the main breadwinner.
Reply 7
Original post by inthedark1
Would you say that being a full time mum is a good reason not to work or is it an excuse? I ask because a woman in her 30's said to me 'Ive never really had a job Ive got 3 kids and have been a full time mum for 18 years thats work in itself. I think of my aunt though who has worked full time as a nurse/team leader all her life. She is divorced and has had to bring up a teenager, she also had a son when she was 40 (when she was still married). When her husband cheated on he and left her she was left with a teenage son and an infant to bring up whilst still working full time. She had to drop them off at school, go to work, pick them up then carry out motherly duties/housework in the evenings with the stress of her career too. So it is possible.

Just wondered what are peoples opinions on this?


Your life do what you like with it. If you're in a position to be able to stay home to look after your kids and that's what you want go for it. Some people as well just can't cope with juggling kids and work, others can, same as some people can't cope with extra responsibility at work whilst others can, everyone's different.
Reply 8
If that's what she wants and the family deems it ideal, sure. It's her choice, not mine.
Reply 9
I really think that it's something that each couple should decide between themselves. If they agree that one of them should become a full-time mother or father, and the other goes to work, and both are happy with that arrangement and can afford it, then I can't see it as a bad thing.

I don't look down on full-time parents. Looking after the house and the kids is a worthwhile way to spend one's time. It doesn't suit everyone, of course, but some find fulfillment in it and that is fair enough.
Reply 10
I think if they want a little 'break' from their job, I'm there for them :perv:

seriously though, I think it's fine if the dad is earning enough money and the kids need an adult figure there for them.
Original post by katyness
My mum raised 3 kids by herself whilst working full-time.

Being a full-time mother it's another way of saying "I'm lazy and I want to use my kids as work"


That's nice for her, however I see no harm in full time mums. Definitely wouldn't call them lazy. Not sure how looking after a kid or a few of them can be deemed lazy at all.

That said I'll agree that trying to make it sound like an actual career is stupid.
Depends. On principle, fine, they have a lot to do and some keep themselves busy and are committed fully to raising their children the best they can (not saying others aren't...). However, others just use it as an excuse to be lazy and not have to work, yet still don't do anything for their children, which is just ridiculous.


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Reply 13
Original post by DivinityA
That's nice for her, however I see no harm in full time mums. Definitely wouldn't call them lazy. Not sure how looking after a kid or a few of them can be deemed lazy at all.

That said I'll agree that trying to make it sound like an actual career is stupid.


I like your point of view :smile:
Original post by inthedark1
Would you say that being a full time mum is a good reason not to work or is it an excuse? I ask because a woman in her 30's said to me 'Ive never really had a job Ive got 3 kids and have been a full time mum for 18 years thats work in itself. I think of my aunt though who has worked full time as a nurse/team leader all her life. She is divorced and has had to bring up a teenager, she also had a son when she was 40 (when she was still married). When her husband cheated on he and left her she was left with a teenage son and an infant to bring up whilst still working full time. She had to drop them off at school, go to work, pick them up then carry out motherly duties/housework in the evenings with the stress of her career too. So it is possible.

Just wondered what are peoples opinions on this?


As with most things it depends. Some women choose to work, some choose to stay at home. It's entirely dependent on the situation.

Personally I think that there is nothing more important than raising Children.

That said, I don't think that the tax payer should stump up to pay for any mother, or parent to stay at home. If you're lucky enough to be financially able to do tat, then go for it.

I've already raised the issue with my Girlfriend/fiancee about being a stay at home dad and that's been kicked into the long grass. She's old fashioned and wants to do that job herself even though she's an intelligent and successfully employed.


There's a big movement going on in Holland at the moment promoting old fashioned 2.4 kids, mum stays at home. It's not government led or anything. It's a grass root movement by women who want to stay at home and look after their kids.
Nothing wrong with it. Good for them.
The stay at home mums probably think it would be too hard to have a job, since you have x,y and z to do everyday, but I bet if they desperately needed that money, didn't have a husband who supported them, they would be able to do it.

I feel like it's one of those things where you don't know how strong you are until you have to do it.
Reply 17
Why is being a full time nanny a job but a full time parent not?

And to those people who think stay at home parents are lazy, they arent. They do not stop.
My mum looked after me, my very ill little brother, did all the housework, shopping, cooking and stable work for 3 horses every day. I cannot remember her having any spare time for herself until both my brother and i were in secondary school.
In an ideal situation I would be a stay at home mum for few years until my child starts school.

However it is unlikely due to financial reasons.

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If they want to do it then fair enough. It's when they post pictures of dribbling sprogs with nasty nappies on Facebook that it winds me up!


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(edited 10 years ago)

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