Lonely, Anxious and Depressed

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AmirBlume
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Hi all.

I'm in my second year of university now.
I'm from Hong Kong originally and I'm a International student even in Hong Kong.
Meaning I went to a western private school and my mother tongue is English even though I'm racially Chinese. All of my friends in primary and secondary school are similar to me, Chinese in race but culturally we're a weird mixture of Western and Eastern.

So when I first started University in the UK last year I had a pretty tough time. I ended up talking to other people from Hong Kong, pure Hong Kong people that are culturally Chinese, more than anything, due to being homesick and being able to speak Cantonese which is my 2nd most proficient language and the one I speak to my family with it made me feel less alone in this foreign country.

However thats where the problems started to arise. In Hong Kong, some people may see people like me as snobby and rich because we went to private schools and thought that we were condescending when we spoke English instead of Cantonese.
Anyways it worked out in the beginning, maybe cause we we're all shy and new to Uni we we're all extra nice and outgoing so it worked out. But after Christmas Holidays and I went back to Hong Kong and hanged out with my International Chinese crew again I went back to my old style or speaking habits and such and I was isolated during the beginning of February up till mid March this year since they thought I was an *******.

Afterwards I resolved the issues when I apologized and adapted back to the Hong Kong, pure Chinese style and it was all good up till summer holidays I guess when I got back with my highschool friends and highschool friends only.
Things are now once again pretty rocky since they think I'm back to my old ways again. So yeah theres quite a culture problem here.

To make things worse, I've heard from some BBCs (British Born Chinese) eg Chinese people that were born and lived in the UK their whole lives and aren't culturally Chinese at all, that they've begun to talk about me behind my back and spread stuff about me.
I already know they don't want to live with me next year so I have to find new housemates but with their "smear-campaign" so to speak its getting difficult.

I know I need to branch out to a different crew and I've been slowly doing that but it seems like I'm only able to make acquaintances and not really friends. Its alright I guess since I feel fine when Im on campus or when talking to these new people or my highschool friends online, but it does majorly suck when I'm at home and being isolated.

I'm also worried about housing next year. I'm naturally a pessimist and I feel that I might end up living with strangers next year, all of which would hate me or dislike me, given how things have worked out for the past year.

So what should I do?

Any help would be much much appreciated.
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SK3PTIK4L
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don't sweat who you could live with next year, treat it as a boarding school experience all over again
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moneymanager
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(Original post by AmirBlume)
Hi all.

I'm in my second year of university now.
I'm from Hong Kong originally and I'm a International student even in Hong Kong.
Meaning I went to a western private school and my mother tongue is English even though I'm racially Chinese. All of my friends in primary and secondary school are similar to me, Chinese in race but culturally we're a weird mixture of Western and Eastern.

So when I first started University in the UK last year I had a pretty tough time. I ended up talking to other people from Hong Kong, pure Hong Kong people that are culturally Chinese, more than anything, due to being homesick and being able to speak Cantonese which is my 2nd most proficient language and the one I speak to my family with it made me feel less alone in this foreign country.

However thats where the problems started to arise. In Hong Kong, some people may see people like me as snobby and rich because we went to private schools and thought that we were condescending when we spoke English instead of Cantonese.
Anyways it worked out in the beginning, maybe cause we we're all shy and new to Uni we we're all extra nice and outgoing so it worked out. But after Christmas Holidays and I went back to Hong Kong and hanged out with my International Chinese crew again I went back to my old style or speaking habits and such and I was isolated during the beginning of February up till mid March this year since they thought I was an *******.

Afterwards I resolved the issues when I apologized and adapted back to the Hong Kong, pure Chinese style and it was all good up till summer holidays I guess when I got back with my highschool friends and highschool friends only.
Things are now once again pretty rocky since they think I'm back to my old ways again. So yeah theres quite a culture problem here.

To make things worse, I've heard from some BBCs (British Born Chinese) eg Chinese people that were born and lived in the UK their whole lives and aren't culturally Chinese at all, that they've begun to talk about me behind my back and spread stuff about me.
I already know they don't want to live with me next year so I have to find new housemates but with their "smear-campaign" so to speak its getting difficult.

I know I need to branch out to a different crew and I've been slowly doing that but it seems like I'm only able to make acquaintances and not really friends. Its alright I guess since I feel fine when Im on campus or when talking to these new people or my highschool friends online, but it does majorly suck when I'm at home and being isolated.

I'm also worried about housing next year. I'm naturally a pessimist and I feel that I might end up living with strangers next year, all of which would hate me or dislike me, given how things have worked out for the past year.

So what should I do?

Any help would be much much appreciated.
Why should you not be yourself around your "friends"? You shouldn't have to feel like you have to "fit" in. Try to find friends that have similar interests to yourself.
Which university do you attend? Do they have a Chinese social club you can join? If not, how about a sports club or some other activities that interest you?
If you feel isolated at home, try joining a BBC forum to meet and make new friends, like iBBC8 . Or PM me, happy to be a pen pal.
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moneymanager
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Why not meet other BBC online, they are not all bad. Try www.ibbc8.co.uk
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