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Boyfriend can't keep up with my high sex drive.

I've been with my boyfriend for just over a year and we moved in together a few months ago.

When we first got together I stayed over at his house a few nights a week and we slept together a lot, sometimes 3-4 times a day, but at this time, I was on the pill and it made me have a very low sex drive, I wasn't really interested at all, but did it to make him happy because I had such strong feelings for him.

Now we live together our sex life has got worse, yet my sex drive has gone through the roof after changing pills. I'm feeling really frustrated as now we only have sex once every 3 or 4 days.

I really need sex at least once a day to keep me satisfied. I've been feeling quite embarrassed about my sex drive (makes me feel a bit pervy) but he said he loved it and thought it was sexy, when I told him this we started having sex more regularly but that only lasted a week. I've tried so many times to spice things up, such as sexting (which I find really cringey) and swallowing when giving him oral but it's hardly working anymore.

I'm just feeling really rejected now. Last week I was so horny and couldn't deal with it so I decided to "relieve" myself whilst he was asleep, but he woke up and has been mocking me about it for days, it's so embarrassing.

And last night I started touching him and he said "don't you seduce me" in a jokey way, so I continued, then he just turned away and went to sleep. He woke up a while later and told me not to be angry and he thinks I'm really attractive and he loves me, but it really doesn't feel that way!
Then this morning he woke up and spooned me and started grinding against me (he was hard) but nothing happened! He just got up a while after and had a shower, I just don't understand.

It just feels like he's been a bit selfish, he only wants sex when he wants it and doesn't want to satisfy my needs. I can never decide to initiate without being rejected. I actually thought guys liked it when the girl initiated.

I just don't know what to do about it, I feel so frustrated. I want to buy a sex toy but I don't want him to make fun of me. Any advice? :redface:

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Reply 1

Jooooshy

Drug him with aphrodisiacs..

Reply 2

TSRgawdlike

haha, this guy is a muppet. Not for refusing sex but moving you in with him as he definitely has cooled on the romping part of your relationship.

If he actually enjoyed splattering your face with his love juice whilst holding you down he'd still be tapping it regularly but from what I can tell, you're not going to get any better.

Dump his ass.

Reply 3

Cucurbita

See, why does a guy with a low sex drive get you? To each according to his need, no? If there's anything that is becoming increasingly apparent it's that life isn't fair.

Reply 4

Anonymous #1

Original post by Cucurbita

See, why does a guy with a low sex drive get you? To each according to his need, no? If there's anything that is becoming increasingly apparent it's that life isn't fair.

What do you mean? I don't really mind if he has a low sex drive, but it's not nice to mock me for having a high sex drive and taking matters into my own hands (quite literally).

Reply 5

Maid Marian

Sounds like you either deal with it or dump him...

Reply 6

fnatic NateDestiel

Concentrate on your exams.

Reply 7

Anonymous #1

Original post by TSRgawdlike

I do love him though and don't want to split up over this and I know he loves me, he tells me every day and does such nice things for me, I just don't get why he's being like this.

Reply 8

CJKay

Laughing at some of the "dump him" replies on this thread and simultaneously recalling the number of times I've heard men say "don't get married because you'll never get any sex".

Double standards, yo.

Reply 9

Cucurbita

Original post by Anonymous

What do you mean? I don't really mind if he has a low sex drive, but it's not nice to mock me for having a high sex drive and taking matters into my own hands (quite literally).

Don't mind me, just venting. I wouldn't mock you for having a high sex drive as I am exactly the same.

Reply 10

TSRgawdlike

Original post by Anonymous

I do love him though and don't want to split up over this and I know he loves me, he tells me every day and does such nice things for me, I just don't get why he's being like this.

He is bored of regular sex. Does he dominate you? Does he do all the work? These are not the same so specify them.

you might lvoe him but really this will get to you eventually and hey, that single guy down the street, Joe McSixpackAbs will entertain the notion of bonking you regularly.

Reply 11

ilex_noemi

wow what a massive change!
I should change pills as well tbh... mine dropped too :frown:

Honestly, it's normal for the amount of sex to drop over time though. It's not because he doesn't find you attractive, you've just passed the "all over each other" stage of the relationship, it's normal.

It is wrong that he makes fun of you if you ever do anything without him. Talk to him about that, it isn't ok to do.

Reply 12

CryptoidAlien

The only advice I can give you is to cheat. He's been getting it from somewhere else, can't you see that?

He's deffinatley cheating with another woman. Seen it loads of times.

Reply 13

ZuluJobo

Why would he laugh at you for masturbating? That's so humiliating and I bet he does it himself. Whatever other problems you have he needs to know that's not okay. If you do choose to buy a sex toy I think he might get the idea that he's not satisfying you and buck his ideas up, other than that he seems like an ******** and I can't imagine why you'd spent time with him.

Reply 14

Robbie242

If I caught my (imaginary) GF masturbating I wouldn't laugh at her, I would help her :wink:

he sounds like a bit of tool tbh

Original post by Maid Marian

Sounds like you either deal with it or dump him...

Inbox clear sorry :tongue:

still can't comment on your profile though so I'll always have to do this

(edited 10 years ago)

Reply 15

funkymama

Some of these replies!!!!

Have a chat to him and explain how you feel when he rejects you or make fun of you. Exactly how you feel. Gently.

It might be that he can't keep up with you and that's okay but I'm sure he doesn't realise how much this is hurting you.

You're living together and if you can't talk about sex you shouldn't be having it!!

You could come to an 'agreement' that you can initiate once a week (just suggestions here) and he gets to watch you 'sort yourself out' twice a week. He might like that a lot 😄

Posted from TSR Mobile

Reply 16

Maid Marian

Original post by Robbie242

If I caught my (imaginary) GF masturbating I wouldn't laugh at her, I would help her :wink:

he sounds like a bit of tool tbh

Inbox clear sorry :tongue:

still can't comment on your profile though so I'll always have to do this

Hmm maybe I will change my settings :tongue:

Reply 17

usernme_

Original post by CJKay

mabey women dont like it when men say that because we dont plan on going celibate after marriage so find winging about the stereotype annoying

Reply 18

Anonymous #1

Original post by TSRgawdlike

He does dominate me sometimes, but it's hot when he does (for both of us, it's the most exciting sex I've had) he very rarely does though. I always try and change things up so it's not the same. It's not as pleasurable for me to be on top but I know he loves it and he told me it's a massive turn on so I go on top quite often.

I do love him and I wouldn't cheat on him, it just gets to me that I can't have fun on my own when he doesn't want sex without being made fun of!

Original post by xXHolly_90Xx

wow what a massive change!
I should change pills as well tbh... mine dropped too :frown:

Yeah it was such a change! I don't even know if it's a blessing to be honest as I'm very frustrated! I can totally understand what you mean about passing that stage but It makes me so angry about him laughing at me for doing this on my own, it's like he thinks I'm pervy or something so I feel guilty about it, maybe it's male pride, he knows I'm not getting it enough?

Original post by CryptoidAlien

The only advice I can give you is to cheat. He's been getting it from somewhere else, can't you see that?

He's deffinatley cheating with another woman. Seen it loads of times.