The Student Room Group

Constant kissing

Ok I have been going out with my girlfriend for over 6 months now... We are happy enough, your run of the mill couple type...

Just recently though I have noticed a few things that always stick out to me....

Firstly, when ever we see each other she always feels the need to constantly try and kiss me, however whenever I shy away from this she jumps on me asking whats wrong...

Secondly, literally every time we speak on MSN, by text, on the phone or in person at the end of every conversation she feels the need to say "I love you" and she expects me to say it back, again I don't feel the need to constantly need to tell her or be told. I think that if you say it too often it becomes meaningless and almost as cliched as "How are you" sort of thing...

Basically I don't know what to do? Am I the one in the wrong? Is it just me or is it a lack of selfconfidence on her part because if we ever split up I know she would take it very badly and has already said to me it would break her heart into a million pieces... Which at the time sounded like a guilt trip :frown:

Please help me TSR on what I should do and whether I am the one who is over reacting?

Many Thanks

Scroll to see replies

Reply 1
For the first problem you have to communicate with her and say what you just said to us to her. Try to make her understand that although it's very sweet, you get uncomfortable in those situations.

The second problem arguably she might just be very affectionate and loving. There is no guideline for relationships just differences. For myself I say it more than my GF since I really do love her - so it's my way of expressing it with mindless banter lol.

I say talk to her, but choose your words very carefully because she might just be a really nice girl - and you might hurt her feelings...
Reply 2
Well she shouldn't guilt trip you
But then it is rather normal in a relationship to say "I love you" at the end of the conversation. Is there a possiblity you don't love her? And maybe just sticking w/ her b/c of her guilt trip.
But hey lets say you do love her. Tell her how you don't want it to become a cliche. Tell her its a very special phrase (or something) and you don't want to kill it. Tell her she might find it romantic.

Maybe when you guys see each other start off w/ a small kiss on the lips and maybe she'll be satisfied.

To be honest it sounds like she's more into you (and clingy) than you are into her
Reply 3
It's a bit clingy... - you just seem to have different personalities.. - i'm with you though - it's a bit crass to feel the need to say "i love you" all the time... I think she may be the one that is insecure..
Reply 4
its not you at all dont worry about it.
IMO it sounds like she needs constant reasurance about your relationship, tell her everything you just said, but word it carfully

*edit* dam people beat me to it
Reply 5
dh00001
its not you at all dont worry about it.
IMO it sounds like she needs constant reasurance about your relationship, tell her everything you just said, but word it carfully

*edit* dam people beat me to it


lol:biggrin:
Reply 6
Element54
lol:biggrin:

:frown: lol
Reply 7
Yeah I had that as well. Whatever you do don't try and explain your feelings of disomfort to her. She will not understand and will become very angry about your lack of enthusiasm.

Eventually she will probably get to the stage where you are and not need to be constantly all over eachother. But girls at this age feel very strongly about having a lot of enthusiasm and passion in a relationship and not acting like a more mature sensible couple. So my advice is to try and reciprocate as much as possible and overcome your frustration or risk pissing her off a lot.
Damn crazy ass women! All guys experience at least one woman who is over the top clingy. All I have to say is appreciate it whilst you still have it! Rich
Reply 9
There's no problem, it's only been 6 months. Give it time.
Reply 10
To be happy in a clingy relationship, both sides have to be clingy. :smile:

My boyfriend tries to kiss me all the time, that's OK, cause I like to kiss all the time and we say I love you a lot and the other person always replies.

It's a completely personal thing, perhaps you should talk with her and say you don't really need to kiss all the time, perhaps ask her to let you initiate kisses and things for a day, then she knows how often you like to do it.
Reply 11
it sounds like your girlfriends may be insecure about the relationship and is looking for reasurance - thats why she wants you to kiss her every time you see her and to tell her that u love her, she wants to know that u want her like she wants u thats all, if u are realy that uncomfortable with it then you should be able to talk to her about it, most good realationships realy on being able to talk openly to one another, if she cant understand then maby its not ment to be if she does then bob's your uncle
Reply 12
So basically guys you think I should talk it over with her :smile:

I am her first serious boyfriend so I think that has got something to do with it as well!
Reply 13
Give it time, you'll start to miss it when she becomes less clingy.
My boyfriend was like this at the beginning of our relationship, its because he was insecure, and although he denies it I think he still is, to a certain extent. He needs constant confirmation that I still love him, I'm not going to cheat on him...sure its annoying but I love him so I deal with it, I tell him I love him all the time. You're girlfriend is probably the same, because you're her first serious bf and probably thinks if she doesn't act like the good gf she'll lose you.

All of this is speculation until you do mention it to her, nicely, don't even imply that she's clingy unless you want to upset her. Nobody wants to hear that from their first serious partner.
ahahahha my ex=boyfriend said 'I love you' after every sentence on MSN!! When we were together in person, he'd whisper it into my ear every five minutes!! Of course, I always answered...but we also tried to keep it down in case we start saying it just for the heck of it y'know? but then, we couldn't help it. hahaha best thing to do is sit her down and make her listen.

sometimes when I wanted to kiss my ex, he'd pull away but he'd always explain what's on his mind...or just said he didn't feel like doing it in public...that sort of thing. As long as he explained, I was fine. Try that, if you shy away, just say how you really feel. If she loves you that much, she should understand that you're not just this kissing mannequin that is always in the mood to kiss...and that you are a living person with mood swings too. :smile:
Reply 15
... is annoying to onlookers, please do it in private.
Reply 16
I dont see the problem with her wanting to constantly kiss you, surely it shows shes mad about you. You need to get over your shyness, you should know her well enough by now not to be shy around her. Also i get the feeling youve only gone as far as kissing, are you shy about going further too? If you are you need to try and overcome it, because im pretty sure most people would get bored.

Sorry for all the presumptions, i just didnt get much info from the OP.
Zoecb
... is annoying to onlookers, please do it in private.

yes that too. or at least when no one's looking

Glory
I dont see the problem with her wanting to constantly kiss you, surely it shows shes mad about you. You need to get over your shyness, you should know her well enough by now not to be shy around her. Also i get the feeling youve only gone as far as kissing, are you shy about going further too? If you are you need to try and overcome it, because im pretty sure most people would get bored.

Sorry for all the presumptions, i just didnt get much info from the OP.

bored just cos there's no sex? what's the world coming to?
Reply 18
My girlfriend is a lot like that on both counts. When we are together alone, it doesn't bother me, but when I see other couples that are much more laid back than we are, or we're out with friends, I do notice it and it does get to me a bit.
I've mentioned it (indirectly) at times, and know it's because she's insecure about herself and worries she's not good enough for me and one day I'll just walk away.

I agree with talking. Don't expect it to be easy though, we've been together over a year and I've still not directly confronted her about it, I worry she'll take it badly, which she will. I just put up with it, it's not really so bad now is it?! But it's not the ideal situation to get into.
Reply 19
I would say talk to her about all three of the issues - I can't stress this enough. Remember, be polite and chose your words carefully. She might just be really affectionate, and you might end up breaking her heart if you do say the wrong thing. Do you love her though?