slutty? or his fault

Right I like this guy who likes me back, he used to have an ex of 3 years who was very shy and they didnt do anything apart from kissing, she broke up with him as she thought he could do better and also he fancied me, we were so close to getting together, fooled around etc but then he saw his ex and likes her as well again. I'm more open and flirty than her and on sat night we slept together as we both wanted it and I hoped that would help make up his mind.
Now he's said he still is confused, hes seeing his ex later as its her bday but i just feel so used fom the other night and really want him. Do you think hes wrong or is it my fault? does he see me as easy?

Reply 1

Tw!stEd

2

His prolly jsut confused...
I've been there quite a few times...

Reply 2

Angelil

19

He probably is just confused, so give him time - however, I don't see how your sleeping with him would have helped in any way to clear his head and probably would have made him more confused. Oh dear.

Reply 3

1013

1

If you're putting out and he's still not sure whether he want you or the ex then I would say that he must be pretty into her. He must have been anyway to have gone 3 years without sex just to be with her.

Reply 4

Singh_87

15

Do you think he still would be confused after seeing his ex, if you didnt have sex with him? Thats what you have to think about....He might be really into his ex, and just have you there to fulfil the needs his ex doesnt...It sounds really harsh, but I'd rather you found out the truth now rather than later, when it will hurt more...

Reply 5

HereFishyFishy

13

Hmm, he does seem to like her a lot. Well, you can presume so, considering how long he has been with her despite the lack of sexual intercourse.
I don't think you can have helped yourself too much by sleeping with him. Due to circumstances he may, probably unfairly, percieve you as easy... :s-smilie:

I hope not though.
Maybe they're just close - and it is her birthday.

You'll never know unless you talk to him about it. Good luck

Reply 6

nusaybah

i dont think sleepin can be a good solution to bring a guy closer tho it is true at times sexual involvement can cause emotional attachment but in this case he seems more emotionally drawn to his ex since even the lack of coupling could not make him get through her...

Reply 7

zav

14

Maybe he likes her a lot but is missing the sexual side that you provide. Sorry harsh but i think it might have some truth.

Reply 8

wojewodztwo_pl

sleeping with him may have been a bad idea depending on what type of guy he is. i mean he might see his ex as more classy than you, cause he went out with her for three years and she refused, and you slept with him before you even went out. that may always come back to haunt you. never try to solve anything with sex. it doesnt work.

Reply 9

Anonymous #2

Anonymous

we slept together as we both wanted it and I hoped that would help make up his mind.

Sigh... just another case of an immature girl thinking that if you give what a guy asks for sexually, he will like you or respect you for it. No, his hormones will be satisfied but THAT'S ALL. On the contrary you're likely to mess things up by using sex for that. As some on here like to say "sex is just sex. Sex with anyone is ok". Well accept that sex is just sex. Don't use it to get something else, especially when you don't even have the maturity yet to use sex to your advantage (i.e. you might not get a guy's heart through sex, but you can quite easily get his wallet).

Reply 10

Achilles13

Anonymous

Sigh... just another case of an immature girl thinking that if you give what a guy asks for sexually, he will like you or respect you for it. No, his hormones will be satisfied but THAT'S ALL. On the contrary you're likely to mess things up by using sex for that. As some on here like to say "sex is just sex. Sex with anyone is ok". Well accept that sex is just sex. Don't use it to get something else, especially when you don't even have the maturity yet to use sex to your advantage (i.e. you might not get a guy's heart through sex, but you can quite easily get his wallet).

Dont be so condesending. You talk as if you know this girl explicitly, when clearly you dont.
Calling someone else immature does not make you immature im afraid. but keep trying and you never know.

Reply 11

Anonymous #1

OP

Thank you for all your replies, it really has helped. I always try to get him to talk about how he feels but I back down after he says he's confused, he has just sent a text saying sorry if he chooses her. Makes me think he really does like her better. Will talk to him properly this week but thanks again :frown:

Reply 12

WokSz

17

I think he's confused - but give him some time and keep on fighting for what you want!

Reply 13

dita_parlo

11

Move on. He doesn't sound like the type of guy you should want as a boyfriend anyways. Look for somebody who will think of YOU as number one; don't settle for being second best. Make the decision for him! And you generally can't use sex to make somebody "choose" you over somebody else.

Reply 14

Angelil

19

If he needs to think about who to 'choose' then both you AND this other girl would be better off without this gibbering mass of indecision trembling in front of you. If you love someone it is blindingly obvious, and speaking of having to 'choose' seems rather worrying to me.

Reply 15

Anonymous #2

Achilles13

Dont be so condesending. You talk as if you know this girl explicitly, when clearly you dont.
Calling someone else immature does not make you immature im afraid. but keep trying and you never know.

Calling someone immature doesn't make me immature? Thanks. That was pure insight and a very helpful comment.

Now, who's talking about me knowing anyone? I just know that using sex to get someone's attention is an attitude that's doomed for failture. I think I'm being a bit more helpful than you just saying keep trying for what you want, i.e. there's nothing wrong in what you did.

Ok, indeed, if everyone believes that sleeping with someone only because you're hoping that it will make them like you more is totally fine, then what I'm saying has no relevance and indeed, the poster should continue sleeping with guys hoping that they will fall for her that way (instead of actually just thinking she's a bit easy and desperate...).

slutty? or his fault

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