Unreasonable?

I've been with my boyfriend for 2 years. The other day, I know I shouldn't have looked but I saw his bank statement on the side and saw he has a monthly direct debit for a porn website. I was gutted as my bf always says he is skint. He bought me a present worth £5 for my birthday saying he was broke. I know its the thought that counts but do you think its unreasonable considering he is willing to pay £25 a month for a porn subscription but spend nothing on me for my birthday or any other time for that matter? I am doubting now whether I am important to him. I was wondering if this is the case in other relationships or do you think its over?

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Reply 1

BlackHawk

Why on earth were you looking through his personal and private belongings?

Porn is a perfectly natural thing, and the fact he didn't spend anything on your birthday is a totally different matter.

Reply 2

high priestess fnord

the ******!! why cant he get free porn like the other 99.9% of men in this country.

Reply 3

DontBuyTheSun

BlackHawk

Why on earth were you looking through his personal and private belongings?

Porn is a perfectly natural thing, and the fact he didn't spend anything on your birthday is a totally different matter.

I agree.
Do you have regular sex? Maybe thats the reason he has the porn.

Reply 4

.:fluff:.

Porn is normal, i wouldn't expect my boyfriend to stop looking at porn just because he's with me, its only a bit of harmless fun from time to time.

I can understand why your upset with his direct debit and him buying you nothing for your birthday, but if you do challenge him about this, he's more likely to get upset at you looking through his personal stuff. If he's a good guy and he treats you well and you love eachother, i don't see why a little porn should get in the way..

Reply 5

hugatree

high priestess fnord

the ******!! why cant he get free porn like the other 99.9% of men in this country.

(and women)

I wouldn't mention it to him cos you're not supposed to look through his stuff, but ask him why he's always broke.

Reply 6

Ron Stoppable

high priestess fnord

the ******!! why cant he get free porn like the other 99.9% of men in this country.

hugatree

(and women)

You're not in this country, Ninja. :rolleyes:

Reply 7

high priestess fnord

hugatree

(and women)

haha nearly put that in but didnt think it was applicable here

Reply 8

Glory

I dont think what he did is great, he should of saved up a little every month to get you something great. But least you got something, he could of totally not bothered. Did the thing that you got any good, will you use it or whatever?

Reply 9

cinder

BlackHawk

Why on earth were you looking through his personal and private belongings?

Porn is a perfectly natural thing, and the fact he didn't spend anything on your birthday is a totally different matter.

I agree, take the situations seperatly.
Fair enough he likes porn, theres nothing wrong with that...its not really unreasonable.
However you looking through his personal stuff was so you're not entitled to mention it.

As for your birthday, it may have actually been for another reason, you can't make assumptions. Boyfriends aren't there to buy you stuff but I can see how you might be a annoyed considering your discovery.

Sounds like something your just gonna have to get over.

Reply 10

Caribou

Nothing wrong with porn... but to me it sounds like more of a priority than you. :frown:

Reply 11

Carl

I'd recommend him some cheaper porn!

Reply 12

hugatree

Ron Stoppable

You're not in this country, Ninja. :rolleyes:

^o)

Reply 13

mattyboi2k8

what porn subscription was it?

Reply 14

dede

kacas

what porn subscription was it?

ahaha

Reply 15

username47781

The only thing unreasonable is that he paid for the porn and said he was skint had he not paid £25 a month for it he could saved all that money

Reply 16

Anonymous #1

i don't think that it is the amount of money that he spent on you that matters, i think its the fact that you two have been together for 2 years and he hasn't told you about the subscription.
At the end of the day, it is his money and it is his choice on how he spends it. and yes it was very wrong for you to look at his statement as that was invading his personal space and broke his trust. at the same time he hasnt been totaly honest with you, so youre both in the wrong here really.
you need to talk to him about it.

Reply 17

Shreerac1

Ask him for a porn subscription for your next birthday, see what he says. If he says no ask if you can borrow his.

Reply 18

username9303

£25 a month on porn?! Has he not heard of downloads? lol. You could even sign up to a movie rental company for about a tenner a month and get as many adult DVDs as you want.

However, perhaps he would like to spend more money on your birthday but he's stuck paying this £25 a month for the next few months and really hasn't got the money to do it.

Nevertheless, £5 for a birthday present for your girlfriend is just lame. Somewhere between £50 and £100 is more like it.

Reply 19

Dragon24

I think some people are missing the point. I'm not after a guy for his money - but if he is willing to show his appreciation for the porn industry giving money to OTHER girls more than his girlfriend of 2 years there is obviously a problem. I have no sympathy now for this being skint malarchy.