how should I feel?

I've finished my exams today, hurrah :smile:

my boyfriend has too. He's been invited to a party from a girl he knows vaguely and has casually mentioned I could go if I wanted but not made a definte arrangement. he's normally loving and attentive but somehow I'm not too sure about this. The girl in question has tried to invite him to a party before (just him) and he said he wouldn't go without me, but the invite was so casual to me from him almost as i shouldn't be bothered.
Well the question is should I be bothered, should I go to the party or just let it be? I really would have liked to be with him as it is the end of my exams and his but do you think I'm being too sensitive? I would appreciate other peoples views.thanks

Reply 1

Katmarauder

Since he's invited you, chances are he isn't up to anything shady. He wouldn't have invited you if he definately didn't want you there either - it's quite legitimate not to invite someone unknown to the organiser of the event. So, go if you think you'd have fun, if not, leave it. Don't go for any other reasons, and don't think too deeply about it.

Reply 2

petrolhead

If you trust him, you won't have to go.
If you don't trust him, you should go to convince yourself nothing is going on between them and then assess the relationship with your bf - its not much of a relationship if you don't trust him.
That's just my opinion.

Reply 3

Anonymous #1

Thanks for your reply, what do the guys think?

Reply 4

randum_nandom

go go go go!!!! :-)

Reply 5

*Claire*

She might like him as a friend, as more than a friend who knows? but if you trust him it shouldn't matter. He may be being casual about it cos it isn't a big deal to him (he doesn't like this girl so doesn't realise you may be worried) or maybe he thinks it might not be much fun for you if you don't know people & he can't go off to talk to people. But he did say he wouldn't go without you so its prob just he hasn't thought about it too deeply. If it was another guy's party would your bf asking u casually bother u? If you have nothing you would rather do then go, if you are going to spend all night worrying then go. If you have something more exciting to do then don't go, in fact you might as well go spend time with your bf & have fun

Reply 6

demonbuttercup

I think you're reading into a bit too much. Boys are far more simple than this, if he knew that you would take his flippant invite as a sign that he didn't want you there then he'd probably have been a bit more enthusiastic about it. I'd go personally because I'd want to celebrate with my boyfriend, not because I felt I had to check up on him. Maybe the girl just doesn't know you very well and didn't really think that her not inviting you would offend you, or maybe she just assumed that you'd go too if your boyf was invited? I wouldn't worry about it :smile:

Reply 7

Anonymous #1

thanks for all your replies, just txt him to say are you going to party our coming to pub (where mutual friends are going) and he has said he's not sure yet. I know I would know where I was going to go by now so I just can't understand why he can't just say where he intends to go, why skirt round the subject?

I really am not bothered as I do trust him but then why can't guy's just say what there going to do, instead of saying there not sure, also as a girl I know i would rather be with by boyfriend after exams in the pub with our mates having fun instead of say at a guys party who I hardly know and has given me an invite .
Looking at this thread, and thinking what would I do if I was answering this I can see really we have problems, what do you think?

Reply 8

demonbuttercup

I really really think you have nothing to worry about personally! Obviously I don't know either of you but you said he's usually loving and attentive and I'd consider that more important than one night where he's being a bit indecisive. Maybe he's just super-polite and feels that it'd be rude to not go to the party?! I don't know :rolleyes:

Reply 9

xChellex

Perhaps he is not sure yet because he doesn't want to let anybody down? Suggesting a compromise might have worked, so that you both could have gone to the party for a bit and then to the pub for a bit, then he doesn't have to feel he is letting anyone down and you get to spend the time with him? :smile:

Also, he might just like to get to know some new people and therefore feels like he would like to go to the party to socialise a little, and since he did invite you I think you shouldn't have anything to worry about.

But the best way of finding out how he really thinks may be to go find him and talk to him in person. That way he can tell you what he feels and you can be reassured that you know how he is thinking.

Reply 10

Anonymous #1

Thanks, but I can't do that, (go and find him) as I feel you do what you want to do, you make choices for a reason, Iwill just accept it. I might feel hurt and he really does know me as we chat about everything and anyone (that's why I think I'm just reacting to this badly) but I will never impose my views on anyone.
You understand when you want to and you give when you want to and if you know the person well enough to know they will be hurt (as he does) then so be it/
Anyway I'm off to the pub :frown: