Uni Flat Tension

Our flat are in a bit of a pickle.
Two of our flatmates, girl 'x' and boy 'y' have blatantly taken more than a liking to each other within the first month of uni. Normally this wouldn't be a problem, right? However, X has a long-term boyfriend back at home whom has visited her at Uni. Its pretty obvious that something is going on with 'x' and 'y' - stopping up after everyone else, caught kissing several times, the fact that 'y' doesn't seem to like communicating with anyone else in the flat, same with 'x', sharing everything (including a matress on movie night).

It had now come to the point where there is a clear rift forming in the flat. Hardly anyone spoke to each other yesterday. One of the most sociable of flatmates (who hates cheating) is now spending most of the day in her room. I fealt pretty depressed all day and tge flat morale is at a first low.

Any advice to deal with this situation would be greatly appreciated. :confused:

Reply 1

Helional

Original post by Anonymous

Any advice to deal with this situation would be greatly appreciated. :confused:

A rift between x+y and everybody else?
A different situation of tension (regarding house-shares for the next year) arose in my uni flat. Someone decided to call a 'formal meeting' and everyone assembled in the kitchen. It was very awkward, and some people left it pretty upset.

In my opinion, someone needs to talk to one of them about it in a non confrontational way. Something a bit daft like 'Sheesh, you two are like a married couple!' (then, depending on the response: 'But seriously, is there something going on between you?')

The best plausible scenario would be for x to end it with her poor boyfriend and everything be out in the open, right? I'm just thinking that the more open the rest of you make it seem, the more pressure x will be under to legitimise the whole thing,

Reply 2

Brosef

Tell the long term boyfriend when he comes over that x and y have been at it. Sit back and enjoy.

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Reply 3

Anonymous #1

Original post by Helional

Well. Once the couple had gone out, the rest of the flat discussed the situation. We now all know what is going on. Apparently X has told someone they had been having sex 2 weeks ago, but this someone has been at hime this weekend when it got awkward. Everyone has had their suspicions since week 2 but no one has said anything until now. We have decided that its not the relationship thats the problem, its that X is cheating on her "boyfriend". Also this relationship has been on since before Xs "boyfriend" came to visit. We've decided to make it really uncomfortable for them but not for the rest of the flat. X doesnt seem to have a sense of what is morally wrong either. She found out her brother of 16 is going to be a Dad 3 week ago. Her and family have just ignored it completely, no financial support, or anything to the mother. Its going to be very difficult to make them feel uncomfortable.
On the plus side, everyone bar the couple is back to talking and socialising now we all in the loop.
We'll see how this plays out. We've agreed that as long as it doesn't affect the rest of us, then we'll let them be. But I can't see that happening. :confused:

Reply 4

Get_Lucky_606

Win ^

Reply 5

Future African game vet

when you are randomly assigned flats at uni, its highly likely hat you wont all get along / have the sam values as other people - generally you all start of "BEST BUDS 4EVA!" then reality hits you and you all chill and go your separate ways -its a natural course of things

Reply 6

techno-thriller

Let things pan out
If you really wants some drama, tell the long term guy :biggrin:

Reply 7

Manitude

Having been witness to a vaguely similar situation (except, X's boyfriend iswas Y's best friend) my advice is do not get involved. It won't be at all fun if you do.

Reply 8

Lotus_Eater

I have to say, I don't think this is anyone else's business. If they want to have an affair, it's not for their flatmates to judge them and certainly not to see this as a situation in which they have a stake. How her family supports the mother of her brother's child is also not an issue that you all have a right to judge her on.

As 'Future African game vet' (!) says, when you're randomly thrown in with a mix of people, you're unlikely to all become friends for life. Trying to practice tolerance and compassion for the people you live with is infinitely healthier than contributing to a judgemental and moralising living environment.

I don't mean to sound harsh but I think you all need to go the other way on this - after all, it might be you who becomes the next target for social opprobrium. You're not being asked to support other people's life choices, but you are expected to live together harmoniously and if they're acting in a way you disapprove of but which doesn't affect you at all, it's best to leave them be.

Reply 9

H0ls

Not being funny but I don't really understand why you care? Y knows that X has a boyfriend. None of your flatmates are super good friends with the boyfriend who is being cheated on so why care? I know cheating is not morally correct but I don't see how it involves the rest of the flat really.