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asking 4 permission

I love my gf but i can't stand this 1 thing about our relationship. every time i go out with my friends i have to ask her if its ok for me to go...and if she finds out that i didnt ask her or didnt let her know, she starts arguing with me and saying that she needed someone to talk to because she was feeling alone, so i shouldnt have gone out with my friends. she also complains if i dont keep texting her when im with my friends. dont get me wrong because we have our good times but is it normal for me to always ask her before i go out? and does everyone keep in contact with their gfs/bfs when they are out with their friends by text or phone calls?

Reply 1

Zerforax

someones (do we have a whipped smiley? someone should make one if there isnt...) whipped :p:

I think you should get your gf to look up the meaning of trust, so yea imo shes being unreasonable

Reply 2

The Mudman

:whip

I suppose it's one thing that she wants to spend time with you, but you need your own space too. Spending all your time with each other can be the death of a relationship. It starts off as a niggle, and ends up devouring your soul... Or something.

Reply 3

Tarts_n_Vicars

No.

It sounds like she's very insecure. I don't keep in contact with my bf when I'm out and would be concerned if he felt the need to text me every time we're apart. How old are you two? It could be she's new to the relationship "game" and thinks it's normal to be so stifling and her insecurities are making her possessive. Ask her what the problem is if she doesn't hear from you - does she think you're out doing something bad or she just feels excluded? Either way she's being unfair, and you need to talk about it.

Reply 4

nusaybah

see everyone has different demands from their relationships and i guess this is what ur gf asks for...it might sound a bit too possessive and clingy but u could simply make her understand politely that it is not always possible to keep textin her while with buddies and seek her permission every time u go out.

is it the same with her? does she always take ur consent before doing anything and always keep contacting u while away with her circle of friends?
If she does then fair enough, cause i suppose she is a little possessive and wants your attention 24/7...no harm in that tho, as long as its not bothering u toooo much.... n if u are really annoyed u should sweetly tell her that u dont feel the need for all that cause u love her all the same!

Reply 5

Anonymous #1

Shes 18 and im 20. we've been together for over 3 years. at first it didnt bother her much because we had never been out with anyone before so for the first few months our attention was 100% towards each other. i dont remember when all this started.. when im with my friends, we just get so caught up with talking and drinking etc that i forget to text her...it doesnt mean that i dont love her...and after the night, shes upset with me because i didnt text her.

Reply 6

1013

Wow - you need to put a stop to this right now or it will set the precedent for your whole relationship. It is completely unecessary for you to keep in contact with her when you are out. A text at the end of the night is fine to let her know you got back ok, but nothing else. She's sounds freaky and possesive and these things have a habit of getting worse - believe me, I know.
Nip it in the bud now and tell her that you can't be with her unless you are two separate people - not joined at the hip!

Reply 7

high priestess fnord

to what everyone else has said. you need to have a word with her about it. i love my bf but i dont need to know where he is unless im meeting up with him.

Reply 8

username47781

Sounds like shes being possessive

Reply 9

Sianey

My boyfriend tells me if he's going out. Well only if he's going out clubbing, and same with me, but just cos we're interested in what the others doing. If I'm at home when he's clubbing I'll text him good night, like we do every night. I usually ask him to text me to let me know he got home ok, but he's usually too drunk to remember!

Reply 10

Wonderboy Blue

It isn't normal behaviour. It sounds like she's trying (and succeeding) to control you by saying she's all lonely etc.

Also, don't waste your money on needless texts!!

The girl needs to learn a few things. Such as, "I'm not your man, I never was and I don't answer any questions!" hehe.

Reply 11

Anonymous #2

she also complains if i dont keep texting her when im with my friends.

My boyfriend's like that.

Reply 12

Laika

Don't listen to all these fools.

About 90% of relationships are like that. Talk to her about it but that's all you can do really.

Reply 13

*~vicki~*

Me and my boyfriend tell each other if we're going out, as was said before, because we're interested in what the other is doing, not because we 'need' to. I usually text him to say goodnight or to make sure he's ok and he does the same. :biggrin:

I used to know a girl that would text her boyfriend, if he didnt text back in 5 minutes, she would text him again. If he didnt answer she would ring him until he picked up the phone and then have a go at him. Now that is possessive...

Reply 14

strawberry

ASKING is one thing, TELLING is another.
good grief, looks like she's got you on a short leash. although it may seem like it, your bfs and gfs aren't EVERY SINGLE THING to you. I would tell my ex where I was going and with who so he'd know. That's all. I never ASKED, I TOLD.