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How do you go about turning down men......

......in a nice way!

I don't want to be rude or abnoxious, many of them are friends who *bless them* 'try' by saying something inappropriate and I don't know what to say to them. :redface:

Example: my driving instructor said to me yesterday "I love you, you reverse park better then my wife!" I told my friend who said that was inappropriate, so how do I go about telling him to calm down in a nice way. :redface:

Reply 1

Nutter

16

I honestly actually think that statement by your driving instructor is fine, if he said it in jest. It must be taken in context. If he's always been flirting with you and then made that statement, then he may soon be crossing the line. However, it's just within his nature and he wants to merely encourage you, then you really shouldn't be offended. Anyway, if you feel uncomfortable, feel free to ask him about it. I don't think he'd want to coach a student who's all wary and cannot concentrate while driving either.

Reply 2

white_haired_wizard

16

Nutter

I honestly actually think that statement by your driving instructor is fine, if he said it in jest. It must be taken in context. If he's always been flirting with you and then made that statement, then he may soon be crossing the line. However, it's just within his nature and he wants to merely encourage you, then you really shouldn't be offended. Anyway, if you feel uncomfortable, feel free to ask him about it. I don't think he'd want to coach a student who's all wary and cannot concentrate while driving either.

and a student who is married and has kids....(see OP).

Reply 3

BBGirl

OP

10

Yep, happily married with kids...........he (driving instructor) has been flirting a little and I just don't need that, it will make things awkward. He may take it further and I don't want him (or others) crossing that particular line, I want to put them off but not in a b**chy way.

Reply 4

white_haired_wizard

16

BBGirl

Yep, happily married with kids...........he (driving instructor) has been flirting a little and I just don't need that, it will make things awkward. He may take it further and I don't want him (or others) crossing that particular line, I want to put them off but not in a b**chy way.

If you are happy, you are married and have kids, why in gods name do you need advice from people about how to handle it??!!! Surely, your instructor knows your background as well?!!! You shouldn't need advice, you shouldn't want advice, he shouldn't be flirting with you, and he shouldn't want to be flirting with you....it reflects quite badly on you, i feel, that you have to create a post revolving around this, and your issues. If it means you have to be bitchy, which i wholeheartedly disagree about/with, then do/be so.

Reply 5

1013

1

white_haired_wizard

If you are happy, you are married and have kids, why in gods name do you need advice from people about how to handle it??!!! Surely, your instructor knows your background as well?!!! You shouldn't need advice, you shouldn't want advice, he shouldn't be flirting with you, and he shouldn't want to be flirting with you....it reflects quite badly on you, i feel, that you have to create a post revolving around this, and your issues. If it means you have to be bitchy, which i wholeheartedly disagree about/with, then do/be so.

That's a bit unnecessary. The OP only wanted a bit of advice.

I would say tha the next time he does it, start talking about your husband and kids and how great they are. If he mentions his wife justtalk about how great marriage is and how glad you are to be not single. He should get the message.

Reply 6

BBGirl

OP

10

Ok, let me fill you guys in a little.........I've only 'known' 2 men in my life....1 was my ex husband and 1 is my present husband, I don't go clubbing, I don't drink, with 5 kids I don't have much of a social life. I go to the gym and I work part time, apart from that I spend most of my time with my family.

When this kind of situation arises........I don't know how to handle it, thats why I'm asking for your advice. :frown:

When he does say anything inappropriate I do mention his wife, his kids, my kids or my hubby, I just want to know how I can go about preventing men coming onto me without them thinking I'm a stuck up b**ch..

Reply 7

Purple

18

Get another driving instructor, tell him you are happily married, remind him he is married or ignore him.

Reply 8

HereFishyFishy

13

Not sure - just say something back in jest that kind of indicates you have no feelings - like "It's nowhere near as good as my husbands" "You'd love my husbands even more"...just mention the husband a lot :biggrin:

Reply 9

Ron Stoppable

14

BBGirl

......in a nice way!

"Hey - I'm only at Heaven / Gardening Club for the free drinks. You're not a girl. Leave me alone - there's a good boy."

Reply 10

1013

1

I would say that it sounds like you have tried all the 'nice' options that I would suggest. If it continues and it really bothers you, you might have to just be nasty. Or not evn nasty, just blunt. If he is failing or choosing not to take your kind knockbacks, you'll just have to tell him outright that his behaviuos is inappropriate and he'd better stop or you'll have to find a new driving instructor.