The Student Room Group

Bit of advice

Yesterday, after my last exam, my gf met me outside the 6th form gates and told me that, due to me starting at uni (and therefore not being at 6th form), and with her having extra commitments of seeing her little brother more often and getting a part-time job, she didn't think that we'd get much time to see each other. So she decided that we should break-up.
I'm sad about that because we only live a mile apart, and I think that surely she could find time, maybe at evenings. But I guess it's what she wants.
Right now though, I feel pretty lonely. Simply because a lot of my friends are in the year below at 6th form, and it would look rather peculiar if I strolled in, what with her and all her friends being there. I don't think it'd do her any favours seeing me anyway at the minute. And I'd probably cry, which, in front of her, would again be something 'not needed'.
Now that I'm on my own, and not really able to talk to any of my friends, I feel like I'm going to fall apart - the next 3 months (prior to uni) are going to be really lonely ones. And if there's one thing that gets me down, it's being on my own.
So just thought I'd ask for any advice on how I can change my mindset to feel happier about myself right now?

Cheers
Reply 1
When one door closes, another opens.
Reply 2
Spend more time with your friends. If she really has other commitments shes not gonna be hanging out with them all the time.
Reply 3
@ Dainty Duck:
I dont know what there was to be unhappy about though: we got on really well. Though we didn't see each other outside of 6th form all that much in the last month - that was mainly due to exams though.

She is planning on moving away to uni next year, so yeah, in a sense it saves some upset over us being apart in the future. However, up until yesterday, she'd expressed no concerns whatsoever about me going to uni having an effect on things. In fact she'd said that she'd come back up to visit when she could (in reference to her going away to uni next yr).

The thing is, she was being genuine: i'd never seen her so upset, she was near devastated. I had to reverse the roles and be the one asking if she was alright.

Then again I guess i was just "being strong" for her; now it's my turn to be upset.

Maybe just a simple change of mind, or might there be something else?
Reply 4
Cally

It seems so unusual that she would choose then to do it, and do it after not expressing any concerns before it. She may have thought about it a lot but then she might not of and just had a rush of blood and got worried about the possibility of going you going away.

I think you need to sit down and have a proper chat with her, and ask her if she really wants this, as you never know if she really does or she is doing it because she thinks it is the right thing to do. Remind her that you still have 3 months untill uni starts, and that you will be home for weeks at a time over the year, so it is possible to continue the relationship.

I really think there is something up with this, and it might be she doesnt want to split up at all. Only one person knows tho, so talk to her
Reply 5
@ Cano
I think what she's trying to say is that SHE doesn't have the time, and that now we cannot see each other at 6th form, we won't really be able to see each other at all.

I agree with what you say in that I think she doesn't WANT to split up: indeed, why be so upset? And she did say she "thought it was for the best." But what can I do? I said that I wouldn't mind if we didn't see each other much, and that I'd go along with whatever was easiest for her. But still she said she thought it was best.

I guess I didn't do enough.
Reply 6
Umm interesting dilemma you ahve here.

Tell her that its not always going to be easy, but that you really like ehr and that aslong as she still feels the same about you, you are going to find time to see each other. Im sure if you try and work something out then you will be back together over the summer as its obvious neither wanted the break up.
Reply 7
Cano234
Umm interesting dilemma you ahve here.

Tell her that its not always going to be easy, but that you really like ehr and that aslong as she still feels the same about you, you are going to find time to see each other. Im sure if you try and work something out then you will be back together over the summer as its obvious neither wanted the break up.


I can try, but i have always found with intelligent women that once their mind is made up, you cannot change it, regardless of how convincing you are.
Reply 8
That's nice you have no hard feelings and respect women for having intelligence.
Reply 9
I would still talk to her Cally, and just make sure this is 100% what she wants
Reply 10
Claire8424
That's nice you have no hard feelings and respect women for having intelligence.


not entirely sure of whether thats genuine or sarcasm lol, but if you take it on face value, it's true enough. i just think it's a shame it has to end.
Reply 11
Cano234
I would still talk to her Cally, and just make sure this is 100% what she wants


I'll try, but first go through the friend that got us together in the first place, as she dropped a hint yesterday as to what was to come, so obviously knows more.
Reply 12
cally
not entirely sure of whether thats genuine or sarcasm lol, but if you take it on face value, it's true enough. i just think it's a shame it has to end.


It was a genuine comment! I don't believe in sarcasm in the forums, makes things more difficult!
Reply 13
Claire8424
It was a genuine comment! I don't believe in sarcasm in the forums, makes things more difficult!


That's the fun of it.