Ruined Friendship?

I just feel really bad about everything! I've been good friends with a guy for about two years now, but a few months ago we ended going out. It was a very short relationship, only a matter of weeks, but it was intense. We broke up because he felt too pressured and didn't know what he wanted. Anyway, it would be fair to say I got over it very quickly. Not because I didn't like him, but because I've been hurt in the past and I felt it best just to get ober it asap. Anyway, now he's saying that he always liked me, and he still does and he wants to go back out again. I've told him that I really don't think it's a good idea. I think the relationship would work, because we do still have an attraction to each other etc, I just don't want to go out with him, particularly, again! But I think that our friendship might be in tatters now. Do you think I'm being totally heartless, or did I do the best thing?

Also, matters are complicated by the fact that I've developed strong feelings for another guy... Well, I say developed, but I have always liked him, to some extent. I can't tell anyone though, and my ex will be devastated if anything else happens between me and this other guy.

Sorry this is more of a rant than anything else but if anyone could offer any advice, it'd be much appreciated!

Reply 1

1013

My advice is to be honest with your ex. Tell him you don't want to go out with him but that you really value his friendship and that you'd rahter go back to being really great mates. You should probably tell him abpout the other guy. There's no need to declare you're undying love for him, just say you've met someone you kind of like and you'd like to see where that might go. I'm sure he's appreciate the honesty and, if he's a good mate, he'll get over it.

Thanks.

I did tell him that I didn't see it working out if we were to go back out, but he really didn't take it very well; he got sad, then angry.

He already knows about the other guy, since we kissed, and more, a few weeks after I'd broken up with my ex. My ex can't bear to look at us talking now, even though we're just friends again.

I feel so selfish, but at the same time, I don't think it would have been right to pretend to him that anything else might happen between us. Maybe in the future, but not at the moment.

Reply 4

strawberry

yes. that kinda happened between my best guy buddy and myself. we liked each other, and then I Realized that I loved him as a brother. till now he still likes me, but he doesn't do anything until I give the word. :smile:

that sort of thing. he still gets jealous if I like other guys.

Reply 5

Amnesia

Anonymous

I feel so selfish, but at the same time, I don't think it would have been right to pretend to him that anything else might happen between us. Maybe in the future, but not at the moment.

You should not feel selfish as you have done the right thing. I think you were right to tell him straight that you were not interested in a relationship. Just make it clear he is certain, so he can move on. That is much better than getting into a relationship with him again because you feel selfish and then realising it was the wrong thing to do. You have done the right thing in my opinion.