Still sad

I apologise in advance for the length. Basically I'd been going out with my ex for over 3yrs. We began to argue a bit then I went to uni, he was great, really supportive & for a few weeks everything was good. Then we began to drift apart, I felt we had kinda moved into being friends. I had feelings for another guy so I broke up with my bf. Also I'd been thinking that I wasn't sure I wanted to marry him, I know this sounds heavy but I had begun to think about where our relationship was going.

Obviously at first I was very upset but then I thought I was getting over it. Stuff happened with this other guy, don't know if it was rebound or not but it distracted me & I was doing ok. Came home for Christmas & it was a bit hard being at home without seeing him. He asked me to get back together & I said no. He asked if I thought we ever would. I kind of thought we might one day but didn't want to give him false hope then so said no. The next few weeks were good, he started seeing another girl but it was nothing serious & we started to chat again as friends which was really nice.

A few weeks later he met his new gf & stopped all contact with me cos she told him to. I was really hurt & really missed talking to him. Eventually after a few months I got him to start talking to me again. Now I feel like I really miss him. I'm sad about it & can't help thinking what if i've made a big mistake. I've lightened up a bit whilst being at uni & what seemed a big deal then doesnt seem so important now. I am a bit jealous of him with his gf. When I see him, afterwards I often feel upset but if I don't see him I miss him. Also I feel like he might just stop talking to me again. I saw him on Sunday & he said some stuff which upset me. Now I don't know what to do, if I make an issue of it he might start ignoring me.

Is it normal to still feel sad after nearly 8 months? Also there is another guy that I met recently who i like & he likes me, still early days but I think something might happen there. I'm excited about that & also I think it might help me stop thinking about my ex (he was my only proper bf) but then I'm worried that I shouldn't get into another relationship if I'm still thinking about my ex. Its weird, if we got back together I think it would work for a while but then the same issues would come up. Its like I know logically I know it wouldn't work anymore but we have so many great memories & I miss that. Is going out with this other guy likely to help me forget me ex or make it worse?

Reply 1

sahsum

Maybe if u see how things go with this other guy it might make you decide for sure about your ex - you definately miss him and want to be with him or with time you realise you'll be ok without him. But at the same time you could be accusing of "using" this other guy. Maybe tell you ex exactly how you feel, see how he reacts, and that might give you a better idea of what you should do.

Reply 2

Anonymous #1

Thanks for replying.

I did kinda hint to my ex I missed him, he just said how happy he was with his gf & then later was going on about me & 1 of his mates (theres nothing going on, he was just joking). So I thought he was completely over it all. But then he moaned to me about his gf several times & said he didn't think he loved her (he has told her he does). I was a bit upset 1 day & he said he would let me know if he ever thought we should get back together but he couldn't promise anything or something like that. So I don't really know what that means, but he obviously doesn't want to get back together at the moment.

Reply 3

DoMakeSayThink

Sounds like a bit of a rollercoaster ride, but you seem to be keeping a pretty positive attitude, and good on you for it. I would continue your relationship with this other guy, but slowly. See how things go, and try and move on. I've a friend who is still writing songs about his break up, that was a year ago. These things take time, but you'll get over it. :hugs:

Reply 4

Angelic Sarah

Hmm tricky situation eh!?!

You have got to remember that it was YOU who ended the relationship in the first place. You ended it for a reason, yes you might miss him now and want him back but is this just because hes with someone else? If you got back together you may just remember why you broke up and it could happen again! More heartache for you both.
You may just want him back because hes with someone else and you are slightly jealous maybe, without realizing it.

I think you really need to tell him how you feel, but be sure before you do, you dont want to mess him around if you change your mind again. Theres more than you two who would get hurt.

I wouldnt say carry on with this new guy either, not when you feel how you do for your ex, its not fair on the new guy unless you are going to push your feelings for your ex aside and make it work with him with all your heart.

Hope it gets sorted out, best of luck :smile: