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Into The Future With Me?

Okay, this may seem a little bit of a Bridget Jones style silly problem, & yeah it is. But hopefully many girls will be able to relate with me & help me! :smile:

I have a fantastic relationship with my long term boyfriend. Pretty much perfect infact. We both couldn't be happier. We're moving in together with friends in September which may seem like a big step, but to me it doesn't feel like it. However, we've never really spoken about the future, ie. are we in one anothers? I know nothing is for certain but I know I want him in my future & I hope he wants me in his.... We just haven't discussed it like many couples do. Family & friends have made comments to us about getting married & we just both smile nervously. I've no doubt that he wants to be with me & our relationship is much more than a fling but how do I ask him without being pushy or sounding like a bunny boiler? & truthfully, does he see me in this way?

Argh! Some male opinions would be great too! :smile:

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Reply 1

Laika

If he's stuck with you for a long time and is planning to live with you that strongly suggets that he is expecting a long term commitment. However i don't know the guy so I can't say for sure.

I am sure if you are as strong and commited as you say you are, then there will be no problem with bringing the subject up with him.

jus marry him. LOL

awww, that's great! :smile:

Have you ever read the books Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus/Mars and Venus on a Date by John Gray?

Or Why Men Love Bitches/Why Men Marry Bitches?

Great & fun books to read!

I know I'm not answering your questions but a lot of my mates who have boyfriends have read them and those books have given them a lot of insights on their relationships :smile:

Reply 4

Talya

I'd just ask him straight, but not forcefully. Or say 'should we buy a house together after uni?'

My boyfriend and I talk about our kids all the time even though we probably won't have any.. It's kind of reassuring to know if I wanted kids, he would have them withme.

Reply 5

Aspect

You're right that is kinda a scarily related Bridget Jones issue..

Why not bring up the topic in a non too-serious way, so it's kinda light-hearted and he doesn't feel too pressured.

Reply 6

high priestess fnord

i brought it up by asking about the wedding lol. my mum had seen a bus that you could hire insted of a wedding car so i told him that if we got married thats what i would be traveling to church in XD

Reply 7

Fleece

How long have you been together?

Reply 8

Dramatic Star

We've been together a year and a month. Not that long I guess....

Thanks for the advice. I don't want to marry etc yet. I just want to have an insight into our possible future.

Reply 9

Alasdair

I hate to put a downer on things, but you need to think really carefully about this. A friend of mine moved in with his girlfriend and friends at Uni, only to find that a month later she was sleeping with somebody else. And now they still have to live together. D'oh!

Not to say that he's going to cheat on you; the point I'm trying to make is that you need to be really sure you're both ready to live in the same house, and that you're not going to break up in the next year.

Also, for god's sake don't ask him if you should buy a house together/get married!!! You'll just terrify the poor lad. Just let it potter along for a while, especially while you're still at Uni.

Reply 10

NViasko

Let's all jump into the future.

1,2,3 GO GO GO

Reply 11

Dramatic Star

hahah. I'm not going to ask him that!

Reply 12

high priestess fnord

NViasko

Let's all jump into the future.

1,2,3 GO GO GO

thats not fair i didnt go to the future, i just hit my tft!!

Reply 13

NViasko

high priestess fnord

thats not fair i didnt go to the future, i just hit my tft!!

You have to have the timing JUST right!! :biggrin:

Ready now??

Reply 14

high priestess fnord

NViasko

You have to have the timing JUST right!! :biggrin:

Ready now??

yeh!! start the count down!!!

Reply 15

NViasko

high priestess fnord

yeh!! start the count down!!!

Alright!!

3, 2, 1

Go Go Go!! Jump Hand in Hand with Me

Reply 16

high priestess fnord

well im a couple of seconds into the future from when i jumped :biggrin:

maybe next time i move the tft tho *nods*

Reply 17

NViasko

Yes we are now into the future...

Reply 18

Captain Scarlet

dont scare the poor guy like alasdair_R said just carry on as u r and dont get 2 far ahead of urself sometimes its good not 2 worry about the future and just take things as they come

Reply 19

Snowfall

You've been together for over a year, right? You should be able to talk about everything. I'm not criticising, I just want to say that if you have been together over a year, it's obviously not a fling in either of your eyes, and so he shouldn't be *that* surprised if you bring up the future. I can't remember how my boyfriend and I started talking about it..Maybe just start talking about marriage in genenral or the future in genenral (does he believe in marriage, how old your parents were when they got married, where does he want to live in the future..maybe something like that?) and go on to ask him how old he would want to get married at..Perhaps you could get the ball rolling in that kind of way. Just because you mention marriage doesn't mean that you want to get married NOW so make sure your boyfriend understands that.

I understand why some guys on here are saying 'take one day at a time' but I can also understand why you want to talk about the future. I'm only 21 but I think about my boyfriend and my future all the time (we basically have it all planned out - and it's not just me doing the planning, guys :P) and if he had said that he didn't want to get married or have children, I would've wanted to know early on so I could start the search again (there is no way I am giving up children...luckily he wants the whole works :wink: