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    This seems to be in the news quite a lot recently. At one end you've got 16 year old single mothers, and at the other you've got 60+ year olds waving wads of cash at Italian IVF doctors. When is the ideal time to have a baby?

    Let me just outline my current situation. I'm 21 and my girlfriend is 20. We're both students, and know what we want to do when we leave university (she wants to teach, I want to go into Prison Service). Last year, we had a little boy. My girlfriend took a year out of university, while I carried on and will finish next year.

    To be honest, all the help we've had from the Student Support people and from the Government is more than we could have ever asked for. It's made university more afforable, and we've been able to buy our son some great things. I love being a young dad. I can't wait to be able to run around in the park with him and all the other stuff that I'd fing hard to do at 40+.

    What does everyone else think?
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    (Original post by jokeroid)
    Formal discussion . . . eh?

    All I can say is that when your son is a teenager you can still have a decent game of tennis, basketball or footie without falling over and breaking your back . . .some more.

    PS: If I was in that situation I would have finished the degree first instead of having the child whilst on the course.

    Agree with you about the sports injuries lol who knows we may end up playing rugby together when he's a teenager.

    As for postponing parenthood, he was a suprise baby so I didn't really have much choice. Looking back though, I'd not change it for anything.
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    :congrats: I commend your outlook as a young father I really don't mind but preferably early rather than late. Around 25 or so... Assuming i'm married by then :p:
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    There's no way I'll be in a situation where I could afford to have a baby until I'm in my 30's. I'm 24 now and just trying to sort out my money so I can afford to but a property. Plus we'd have to take in the consideration of childcare costs and loss of income for a while.
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    I definitely don't want kids til I'm about 35. I think I'd want to be a stay at home mum, coz that's what I grew up with, so I'd want to have some semblance of a career first.
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    I accept your point, and see the advantages that 'stay at home mums' bring to a family. However, I'd advise against prescribing a specific age at which you'd like to have kids, for the simple fact that it it rarely works out that way.

    Will you be married then? Will your partner want kids? Are there health risks? Are you sure you won't want to keep your career? Does your partner want to stay at home with the kids?

    My advice is take life as it comes. Avoid drawing up blueprints. 35 may seem a long way away, but you mght wake up one day, at 35 and think **** - what am I going to do now?
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    (Original post by coaster)
    This seems to be in the news quite a lot recently. At one end you've got 16 year old single mothers, and at the other you've got 60+ year olds waving wads of cash at Italian IVF doctors. When is the ideal time to have a baby?

    Let me just outline my current situation. I'm 21 and my girlfriend is 20. We're both students, and know what we want to do when we leave university (she wants to teach, I want to go into Prison Service). Last year, we had a little boy. My girlfriend took a year out of university, while I carried on and will finish next year.

    To be honest, all the help we've had from the Student Support people and from the Government is more than we could have ever asked for. It's made university more afforable, and we've been able to buy our son some great things. I love being a young dad. I can't wait to be able to run around in the park with him and all the other stuff that I'd fing hard to do at 40+.

    What does everyone else think?
    Different strokes for different folks. I became a dad later in life - I'll be 50 when my kid turns 15. For me that was right because at your age there is no way in world I would have been mature enough or ready for fatherhood.

    I keep myself in decent shape so I think I'll still be able to play tennis at 50 which isn't exactly ancient these days (lots of people run marathons at this age and beyond) and I will also have the wisdom of years to share with mine.

    I don't think one is better than the other tbh - there are pro's and cons to both. What's important is you do your best at raising your kid, not how quickly you can polish off a mile freestyle.
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    I'm 18, my Dad's 63 and it's never really affected me. Most people of 50/60 are still very active nowadays so he was still very capable of playing football etc with me when I was younger.

    As Howard said, he did seem "wise"; whilst most people's Dad's were still on the career ladder, by the time I was 12 my Dad was semi-retired and had a lot of experience of life having worked in different countries.
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    (Original post by coaster)
    This seems to be in the news quite a lot recently. At one end you've got 16 year old single mothers, and at the other you've got 60+ year olds waving wads of cash at Italian IVF doctors. When is the ideal time to have a baby?

    Let me just outline my current situation. I'm 21 and my girlfriend is 20. We're both students, and know what we want to do when we leave university (she wants to teach, I want to go into Prison Service). Last year, we had a little boy. My girlfriend took a year out of university, while I carried on and will finish next year.

    To be honest, all the help we've had from the Student Support people and from the Government is more than we could have ever asked for. It's made university more afforable, and we've been able to buy our son some great things. I love being a young dad. I can't wait to be able to run around in the park with him and all the other stuff that I'd fing hard to do at 40+.

    What does everyone else think?
    Aw. I think I would like to get married and start a family early, probably within two years of uni. I also think it would be good for my kids, as they would see that people have to move up in life, and they would understand that a good lifestyle provided by their parents does no just materialise out of thin aire.
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    Personally, I can't see myself being mature enough to look after a baby for many years. At eighteen the last thing I want to do now really is gain extra responsibilities. Maybe when I'm 35 or something......
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    (Original post by LH)
    I'm 18, my Dad's 63 and it's never really affected me. Most people of 50/60 are still very active nowadays so he was still very capable of playing football etc with me when I was younger.

    As Howard said, he did seem "wise"; whilst most people's Dad's were still on the career ladder, by the time I was 12 my Dad was semi-retired and had a lot of experience of life having worked in different countries.
    I sometimes believe that children with older parents have more fear of their parents dying than those with younger parents. From my own experience, and talking with friends with parents of various ages, it seems that those whose parents were much older as they were children grew up with a much stronger fear of their parents dying, which is a fear common to all children, presumably.
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    (Original post by LH)
    I'm 18, my Dad's 63 and it's never really affected me. Most people of 50/60 are still very active nowadays so he was still very capable of playing football etc with me when I was younger.

    As Howard said, he did seem "wise"; whilst most people's Dad's were still on the career ladder, by the time I was 12 my Dad was semi-retired and had a lot of experience of life having worked in different countries.
    Quite. My dad was 39 when I was twelve but I rarely saw him. He was quite an ambitious man when he was younger and was far to busy to kick a ball around with me anyway! He was a workaholic.

    I'm much closer to him now he is 64 and has "slowed down a bit" than I ever was when he was a younger man.
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    I had kids before I went to uni (they were 4, 3 and 15 months when I started) in some ways I feel guilt that I'm not with them - but I think it was better for me to have kids young (I was 21 when I had my first)
    Biologically 20s is better to have your kids, 30s is OK (if I had a child in my 30s I wouldn't feel old - but I may have if I was having my first in mid 30s - having a 4th in mid 30s I don't think I'd be bothered (aside from the fact I'd have a child in comp)

    If I had an established career - would I want to take 5 years off, probably not

    However once you hit menopause I think it's too late
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    The ideal time to have a baby is whenever you're ready and you want one.

    Not before 20, though.
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    im sure my mind will change later on, but now i plan to have children in my early thirties, late twenties, ie stable career first
 
 
 
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