Keep rejecting offers waiting for the right girl - getting nowhere, should I settle? Watch

Parano!d
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Hey guys, I've been single for the past few years. I've always believed I will meet the right girl for me, and I'll know it's her when I see her. It's just a feeling I know i'll get because I've fallen in love twice in my life (unfortunately it wasn't returned in those two cases), so I am familiar with the feeling you get when you meet someone truly special. However I've been patiently waiting this long (i'm 22 now), and I'm starting to think maybe i should just stop looking so hard.

I have had girls interested in me in the past (one of them just recently, a week ago). Not to sound cocky, but I'm sure I could have made them my girlfriend if i wanted. Unfortunately I just couldn't see myself with them. Like I said, i'm familiar with the feeling of falling in love, and I didn't get anything close to that feeling with any of these girls. So I didn't want to waste my time, as I can normally tell when I have a special thing for someone.

Has anyone waited and waited, waving away offers, knowing that someone is out there for them? The perfect person for you? It's cliched I know, but I just can't make myself like/go out with someone knowing that I'm only doing it for the sake of being in a relationship. Sure it can suck being single, but i'd rather be single than force myself into a relationship.

Question is, should I continue waiting or should I just settle when the next offer that comes along and see where it takes me? Because who knows how long it could take for me to find Miss right.
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Nicedayslim
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It wouldn't be fair on the girl you settle for. You'd never be truly happy and you'd always be looking for something better.

You're still young, the right girl will come along.
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Bassetts
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WHY, WHY would you reject offers when there are people like me who've never had offers from any girls? :cry2: (23 year old virgin, 0 gfs, 0 kisses)

I think you should take up the offer of some of the girls. Life at a young age is about getting as much experience with relationships and the opposite sex as possible. You don't want to wait and wait until 'the right girl' because a) that girl may not even be right b) you will feel like you wasted your youth not getting enough sexual experience.
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Katie_p
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(Original post by Bassetts)
WHY, WHY would you reject offers when there are people like me who've never had offers from any girls? :cry2: (23 year old virgin, 0 gfs, 0 kisses)

I think you should take up the offer of some of the girls. Life at a young age is about getting as much experience with relationships and the opposite sex as possible. You don't want to wait and wait until 'the right girl' because a) that girl may not even be right b) you will feel like you wasted your youth not getting enough sexual experience.
Oh for goodness sake.

OP, if you want to sleep around and have unsuccesful relationships, go ahead. But if you would rather wait for your girl, who probably is out there, I'd recommend you do that. I don't think you'll regret it. You seem sensible enough to know life isn't about fooling around and getting as much sex as you can whilst it's offered.
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Bassetts
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(Original post by Katie_p)
Oh for goodness sake.

OP, if you want to sleep around and have unsuccesful relationships, go ahead. But if you would rather wait for your girl, who probably is out there, I'd recommend you do that. I don't think you'll regret it. You seem sensible enough to know life isn't about fooling around and getting as much sex as you can whilst it's offered.
yes it is. if it's offered to you on a plate, you should take it every time. then again its no surprise i say that when i am a 23 year old virgin.
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Katie_p
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(Original post by Bassetts)
yes it is. if it's offered to you on a plate, you should take it every time. then again its no surprise i say that when i am a 23 year old virgin.
You mean, it's no surprise you say that because you say it constantly.
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Jaegon Targaryen
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Someone take Bassets to Amsterdam and get him a hooker so he can finally realize loosing his virginity won't solve his problems.
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justanotherposter
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(Original post by Bassetts)
WHY, WHY would you reject offers when there are people like me who've never had offers from any girls? :cry2: (23 year old virgin, 0 gfs, 0 kisses)

I think you should take up the offer of some of the girls. Life at a young age is about getting as much experience with relationships and the opposite sex as possible. You don't want to wait and wait until 'the right girl' because a) that girl may not even be right b) you will feel like you wasted your youth not getting enough sexual experience.
I'm a virgin as well, OP ignore this guy, being a virgin is only a problem if you act embarrassed about it, if you want to have standards then have standards, I've gone down the settling for some girl I don't really care about route before and she ended up cheating on me with my best friend after a month, we tried to mend our friendship, but whilst it seemed alright for a while it's never really been the same since then and I don't think I've seen him in person since Easter. Needless to say I regret having 'settled' for the first girl that showed interest in me.
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Really_now
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Don't settle you'll just be unhappy if you do
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Bassetts
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(Original post by Jaegon Targaryen)
Someone take Bassets to Amsterdam and get him a hooker so he can finally realize loosing his virginity won't solve his problems.
i think losing my virginity on its own wont solve problems.

what i'm saying is if i had sex once, and thats it, that wouldnt solve anything. but if suddenly tomorrow i got offered sex from a girl, who wanted sex from me again and again. my confidence goes up. then i get to know one of her friends, who i end up having sex with too, and its a spiralling effect of having sex with lots of girls and my confidence goes through the roof. THAT will solve my problems.

do you see the difference? the first situation, i have sex once and it solves nothing. the second instance, i have sex, i become more confident, get to know more girls and its a spiralling effect of more sex and more confidence.

i truly believe if a girl gives me the chance to have sex with her, i will feel so much better.
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TheMillieg
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Wait, it'll be better in the long run.. you'll be happier, and it's not fair on any girl you settle for. The right girl is out there
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kpwxx
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You are unlikely to fall in love immediately with a girl... you need to have time to get to know her and spend more time with her to get there. So if you are waiting for a moment where you set eyes on someone for the first time and suddenly want to be with them forever you might be waiting a long time.

Having said that, from your OP it sounds like you're not really interested in the particular girls you mention in a romantic way. You shouldn't start a relationship with them purely because you're not in one. There should be physical and emotional attraction there.

xxx
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mjj22
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Here we go Bassets' on the ball today

Posted from TSR Mobile
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Jaegon Targaryen
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(Original post by Bassetts)
i think losing my virginity on its own wont solve problems.

what i'm saying is if i had sex once, and thats it, that wouldnt solve anything. but if suddenly tomorrow i got offered sex from a girl, who wanted sex from me again and again. my confidence goes up. then i get to know one of her friends, who i end up having sex with too, and its a spiralling effect of having sex with lots of girls and my confidence goes through the roof. THAT will solve my problems.

do you see the difference? the first situation, i have sex once and it solves nothing. the second instance, i have sex, i become more confident, get to know more girls and its a spiralling effect of more sex and more confidence.

i truly believe if a girl gives me the chance to have sex with her, i will feel so much better.
First of all let go of all your creepy fantasies , no girl is going to knock on your door whilst your busy bashing and ask to join in .

So in other words you want to become successful with women ? Well that's a completely different matter my friend , once your succesful in life you will attract girls way more easily and some of these encounters may lead to sex.

As you like to go on about all over TSR " You have no friends , no social life , people perceive you IRL as a creep " Its going to be immensely hard to loose your virginity in a situation like yours , stop being a little ***** and wallowing in self pity. Eradicate each problem , develop yourself into the best possible version and your life will become much better , that I promise .
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Bassetts
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(Original post by Jaegon Targaryen)
First of all let go of all your creepy fantasies , no girl is going to knock on your door whilst your busy bashing and ask to join in .

So in other words you want to become successful with women ? Well that's a completely different matter my friend , once your succesful in life you will attract girls way more easily and some of these encounters may lead to sex.

As you like to go on about all over TSR " You have no friends , no social life , people perceive you IRL as a creep " Its going to be immensely hard to loose your virginity in a situation like yours , stop being a little ***** and wallowing in self pity. Eradicate each problem , develop yourself into the best possible version and your life will become much better , that I promise .
sadly its too late for change. i'm in my final year of university, half way through the first term. its not like i'm a fresher just beginning the whole university experience. there is little opportunity to get a social life now. besides, if i focus a lot of effort on socialising, i will probably screw up my degree (i'm on track for a 2:2 despite putting in a lot of effort).

another problem is socialising makes me tired and weary. it makes me exhausted and its not relaxing. after a short length of time socialising, i feel like going back to my room and lying on my bed. i must prefer being alone.
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Jaegon Targaryen
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(Original post by Bassetts)
sadly its too late for change. i'm in my final year of university, half way through the first term. its not like i'm a fresher just beginning the whole university experience. there is little opportunity to get a social life now. besides, if i focus a lot of effort on socialising, i will probably screw up my degree (i'm on track for a 2:2 despite putting in a lot of effort).

another problem is socialising makes me tired and weary. it makes me exhausted and its not relaxing. after a short length of time socialising, i feel like going back to my room and lying on my bed. i must prefer being alone.
Its too late for a ****ing change ? It's never too late u ****. There is more to life than uni , fair enough with putting your degree into focus , though im sure there are people who have put in equal amounts but still found time for friends.

Im done with trying to help you . Bassets you need to realize making excuses for yourself is the worst thing you can do , honestly . If you want to be a whiny little virgin , pityful excuse for a man then fair enough , that's natural selection at work right there .
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Anonymous #1
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I've almost been thinking about settling too... I'm just too fussy and can't find what I want . But then I think meh what's the point settling, what if I do then Mr Right comes along?
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by Bassetts)
sadly its too late for change. i'm in my final year of university, half way through the first term. its not like i'm a fresher just beginning the whole university experience. there is little opportunity to get a social life now. besides, if i focus a lot of effort on socialising, i will probably screw up my degree (i'm on track for a 2:2 despite putting in a lot of effort).

another problem is socialising makes me tired and weary. it makes me exhausted and its not relaxing. after a short length of time socialising, i feel like going back to my room and lying on my bed. i must prefer being alone.
Do you live out? I didn't and only started making friends after 2nd year of uni. Tbh I mostly went out in 3rd year then and got 2.2
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letsbehonest
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Why don't you give the girl a chance? I mean, if you have known her all your life then fair enough but if you met her a week ago become friends? See if you like her? If not then, it's not fair on the girl and let her go.
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Rascacielos
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Don't expect it to happen as soon as you meet someone; you have to give people a chance. Get to know girls and something might develop. If it doesn't after, say, a few weeks then I would tell you not to pursue it. You're right, you shouldn't settle with the wrong girl - you have to be happy - but you also have to stop dismissing people before you have at least an idea of their character.
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