Why does this still bother me? How do I go about moving on from it? Watch

IxI_Rhys_IxI
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So... Naturally as all of these threads go, there's another a person, a girl in my situation. We've known each other for over a year and a bit now, and we grew on each other after a few months. We've travelled together to many places around the country, we've gone the cinema plenty of times together, we've gone to have meals together regularly. The list could go on and on, but I want to keep this short, since this isn't truly about her.

So naturally, she started telling me things, that let's be straight up honest here, you wouldn't tell a guy if you didn't like him... Considering my feelings for her had grown over the last 6 months, I felt that an opportune time to tell her was beginning to close in.

I had been out one night, with a friend for his birthday, and I had a couple of glasses of cider, no big deal... I watched as he was speaking to the person he also had feelings for in his life, and it made me think about how I could still go about things. After we parted ways and moved on with our night, I attempted to hint to the person I liked that I had feelings for them... Not directly, but so indirectly that you'ld have to be inherently blind to not spot it. She specifically said that I was "Creeping her out" with these comments, so instantly, I assumed that I failed in any attempts of advancing what we had together, so I moved on... Or at least I thought I did.

So, almost a month on since then, we've gotten on with our university studies together... Nothing has changed, we still study together by ourselves, we still go to the cinema, we still do everything on the list above. But only now, I know that this is just a "Really close friends" kind of deal, and not a relationship one... But it still bothers me.

I have become a little more critical of things she does. (Although I always bite my tongue and keep potentially not so nice comments to myself). If she walks away from me whilst I'm still packing my bag, it bothers me to an absolutely ridiculous extent... If she doesn't accept my help in studying, and feels that someone else can explain it better, it seriously bothers me... We're still the best of friends (Or at least, that's what she's lead my to believe after rejection), yet I still have these almost jealous feelings about rejection. For now, I'm just dealing with it in my head, and I'm trying to ignore it, but I'm finding every small detail to potentially pick at, and I'm only going to cause an argument soon... I'm not sure if I'm angry that I told her my feelings at the wrong time, I'm not sure if I'm still living on the hope that she'll change opinion... I just don't know what it is... But I need help.

I've advised friends before in their relationship struggles, saved relationships, started relationships, but yet, I can't understand my own struggles and my inability to cope with them.

My question is... How do I get past this strange phase I've found myself in? Previously, I've told people in the past that I've liked them, and it's killed communication on their part with me... I didn't directly tell this girl, purely because I feared that exactly that would happen... So now I'm stuck in a phase in which I'm hopelessly in love, I know that nothing is ever going to happen after apparent rejection, and because of that, I have some kind of jealous rage towards her, whilst still trying to be best friends.

How can I move on from these feelings? I don't want to give her so much space that it kills the friendship we've got, but I can't continue to bite my tongue all of the time like this... I need some advice.
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ilem
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Directly tell her how you feel and then, if you are actually rejected, cut her out of your life.
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bingbashbosh
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It seems like you're frustrated because you haven had the opportunity to properly tell her how you feel. Though from what I've read, it seems that she's made it clear that she just wants to be your friend. It's up to you to tell her if you think it'll make you feel better, if you feel like you cant go on like this for much longer then tell her.
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joker12345
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Sounds like the friend zone, my friend.
Distance yourself.
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