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G/F's Best Guy Friend?
My G/F of two months now has a male best guy friend, who she fancied when she met him.
She went through the process of getting to know him, hanging out allot and when she went on holiday the guy confessed he fancied her and wanted to be with her.
When she read this email she was happy as she already fancied him and also developed feelings while away.
Upon returning from the holiday she was hoping to start a relationship with him but he turned cold to her which got her really confused.
Anyway there was a period where they became distant and I think thats when I came along. So the first month of our relationship he would email her often but call now and again speaking about general things. When ever he would call she would answer it and take the phone out of the room to answer.
Anyway 2 months on he would still email more or less everyday (atleast 4 times in a week) and towards the end of the 2months period she was leaving on holiday. He then indirectly told her he wanted to marry her. She told me about this but said I had nothing to worry about as she wanted to be with me but hes a best mate who she cant just get rid of.
Even while leaving the country from the aiport (it was just me and her) she said 'she will miss him' but she didnt tell me that, which I always thought if a guy and girl are close she would say the same thing.
She has contacted me every day since shes been on holiday and yesterday I kind of just told her about the guy issues and my confusion turn into some harsh words which I ended up apologising for.
I guess I was really missing her, so I told her that.
She replied for the first time on this time of emotion level 'I really miss you 2 Darling. I wish I could cuddle u and be in ur arms again'.
So I don't really know whether I should be bothered about this guy friend or not, as in the fututre if things stay the same he will arrange to meet her and stuff on their own and just talk. She says she has nothing for him and she can out her hand on her heart but in the past she majorly fancied him and when he mentioned the part of marriage she did have to think about it.
Would I be wrong to tell her if she didn't stop meeting that guy that wanted to marry her, regardless if she feels nothing of that nature for him, then me and her would be finished?
She went through the process of getting to know him, hanging out allot and when she went on holiday the guy confessed he fancied her and wanted to be with her.
When she read this email she was happy as she already fancied him and also developed feelings while away.
Upon returning from the holiday she was hoping to start a relationship with him but he turned cold to her which got her really confused.
Anyway there was a period where they became distant and I think thats when I came along. So the first month of our relationship he would email her often but call now and again speaking about general things. When ever he would call she would answer it and take the phone out of the room to answer.
Anyway 2 months on he would still email more or less everyday (atleast 4 times in a week) and towards the end of the 2months period she was leaving on holiday. He then indirectly told her he wanted to marry her. She told me about this but said I had nothing to worry about as she wanted to be with me but hes a best mate who she cant just get rid of.
Even while leaving the country from the aiport (it was just me and her) she said 'she will miss him' but she didnt tell me that, which I always thought if a guy and girl are close she would say the same thing.
She has contacted me every day since shes been on holiday and yesterday I kind of just told her about the guy issues and my confusion turn into some harsh words which I ended up apologising for.
I guess I was really missing her, so I told her that.
She replied for the first time on this time of emotion level 'I really miss you 2 Darling. I wish I could cuddle u and be in ur arms again'.
So I don't really know whether I should be bothered about this guy friend or not, as in the fututre if things stay the same he will arrange to meet her and stuff on their own and just talk. She says she has nothing for him and she can out her hand on her heart but in the past she majorly fancied him and when he mentioned the part of marriage she did have to think about it.
Would I be wrong to tell her if she didn't stop meeting that guy that wanted to marry her, regardless if she feels nothing of that nature for him, then me and her would be finished?
Anonymous
Would I be wrong to tell her if she didn't stop meeting that guy that wanted to marry her, regardless if she feels nothing of that nature for him, then me and her would be finished?
I dont' think so. Maybe just not that "it's over." Tell her you trust her and all that, but its just no very benefical to your relationship if there is this guy that has strong feelings for her who she is often around. She should understand, and she she said he is "just a friend" so she should choose you over him.
If you ask, and she refuses, then mate she's not worth it in the long run problems and feelings coming back for him once shes further into the relationship with you will just cause tension!
i dont know if i could trust her. she obviously has feelings for this guy. tbh there isnt much you can do, it sounds like she needs some time off to sort her head out.
bullyfish
Why cant you just try and trust her to not cheat on you? If you start telling her to not see him or you'll end things, your just going to end up the bad guy, and push her away.
But if you cant trust her, then whats the point being together?
But if you cant trust her, then whats the point being together?
That's true. He may trust her, but it would be the other guy I'd be worrying about!
tillgii
I do trust her allot but im worried if he keeps knocking on her door one day their might be an answer. I mean if a gal wanted to marry me and I was aware of it and kept hanging out with me when I had a g/f, I would definatly keep it to a minimum. The matter of the fact is he actually keeps bringing these topics up (last 2 meetings inc at the station when she was leaving for holiday).
True and your not Anon, I'd change it quick if you used it in the OP for a reason. If not I'm sure it's fine.
bullyfish
Why cant you just try and trust her to not cheat on you? If you start telling her to not see him or you'll end things, your just going to end up the bad guy, and push her away.
But if you cant trust her, then whats the point being together?
But if you cant trust her, then whats the point being together?
I do trust her allot but im worried if he keeps knocking on her door one day their might be an answer. I mean if a gal wanted to marry me and I was aware of it and kept hanging out with me when I had a g/f, I would definatly keep it to a minimum. The matter of the fact is he actually keeps bringing these topics up (last 2 meetings inc at the station when she was leaving for holiday).
PhilMc
True and your not Anon, I'd change it quick if you used it in the OP for a reason. If not I'm sure it's fine.
thanx:P
My view.. you would be wrong. As soon as you start throwing around ultimatums it puts a time-limit on things. This guy may well want to be with your g/f, but so long as she still wants to be with you, that doesn't matter.
IMO, people will cheat if they want to, regardless of what limits you try to enforce on them/their friends.
Good luck.
(btw, your username still appears in the quoted post)
IMO, people will cheat if they want to, regardless of what limits you try to enforce on them/their friends.
Good luck.
(btw, your username still appears in the quoted post)
Its an arquard one, as shes trying to get out of another sticky situation which involved family and because of that she can't let her friends know about me, so its already an undercover relationship. I'm hoping when shes back from holiday somehow we can be open about it as right now its doing my head in as every time I would g over to hers she would make up an excuse like im over for an interview or somthing.
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