Please Mark my essay (GCSE). Need help :) Watch

Faroukyasser
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Lately I have been having free time so I decided to retake my GCSE english which I scored an A in since I was 2 UMS away from the A* So this is my first writing. Would you please guide me in the write direction. Maybe give me some tips for my Writings, Thanks.

The writing prompt is:
People say there is a first time for everything. Recently you did something for the first time in your life.
You decide to write a letter about your new experience to a friend.
In your letter you should:
Say what gave you the idea to do it
Describe what you did for the first time
Explain why you would or would not like to repeat the experiment

DO NOT write an address, You will receive up to 9 marks for the content and 9 marks for the accuracy of your language. [Total: 18]

P.s, I did put Indentation before every paragraph but the forum removes them.

Dear Sam,
It seems like ages since we last met. It seems we only meet once in a blue moon. So I have decided to drop you a line and tell you what I've been up to. You are absolutely not going to believe this!

It all started with that one video. A video of a skydiver was feature on the front page of a video sharing site. My curiosity couldn't stop me from hovering the mouse over and clicking it. I watched amused and fascinated as a very brave and young man jumped 15000 feet to land safely with a parachute. I couldn't believe my eyes! I spent the next hour altering from video to the other and with each second I grew fond of this sport. As a result, I decided I must try this sport no matter what and booked with our local skydiving team.

"If your parachute fails, Don't worry, you have the automatic activation device, if that fails too, well may may god be with you" The coach ended his last wisdom words with an evil laugh to leave us petrified in the airplane. That is when the plane door opened, and the green light lit up showing it was time to jump. As I approached the door, I felt anxiety and panic creeping into me. And before the second I jump, The coach said "Break a leg champ".

I was later informed in the hospital that I passed out from fear to drop headfirst for 10000 feet before my automatic activation device miraculously saved me! I was later released from the hospital that day. I have definitely enjoyed this exhilarating and joyful feel of skydiving and have decided to repeat this experience... not.

So what did you think of my heroic experience? I will be looking forward to your reply.

With love,
Farouk
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Hi there,

While you're waiting for an answer, did you know we have 300,000 study resources that could answer your question in TSR's Learn together section?

We have everything from Teacher Marked Essays to Mindmaps and Quizzes to help you with your work. Take a look around.

If you're stuck on how to get started, try creating some resources. It's free to do and can help breakdown tough topics into manageable chunks. Get creating now.

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