So scared about new job I'm making myself ill Watch

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Anonymous #1
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Hi there. I start a new job (first ever job) next week but I want nothing more than to rip up the contract and cry. I'm on the verge of tears all day, every day because I can't stop worrying about it. I feel under so much pressure to like it; the pay and benefits are great, it's a brilliant opportunity (I didn't go to uni and it's hard to get into this field without a degree) and it's not too far from home (well, it's too far for me personally but everyone keeps saying it's not). My family keep saying how they are sooooo proud of me and all I can do is fake a smile in response.

I worry that it will be very difficult to adjust to the full-time hours after having done nothing except sit at home for about 6 months. The drives to and from work will be entirely within rush hour so I'll have to leave early in the morning and get home late; it seems like I'll barely have any time to myself each day. I'm worried about not liking the tasks or the environment and I'm not happy about the compulsory overtime rota. My heart sinks every time I think about the job. I'm getting bad stomach cramps and backache. Can't even bring myself to sign the contract, but I know I have to. Told my parents about my feelings and they screamed at me, saying how my life was perfect and that this is an amazing opportunity (it IS, I know that, I just don't feel like it is) and that I WILL be going next week. I feel so down and trapped.

The thing is, I don't know what I'd do otherwise if I wasn't working this job. I feel like I should have looked for an easier, possibly part-time job before taking this one so I could gain experience of working without being under quite so much pressure. I'm going to be thrown straight into months of training, so it's not even a case of giving it a couple of weeks to adjust to my duties.

This sucks. Can anyone offer any advice or comfort?? Thank you so much in advance.
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Zara Okoro
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I think that you'll probably consider me to young to be giving you advice (I'm 15) but to be honest I'm better at giving it to others than i am at following it or even giving it to myself, but I think the best thing you can do is take your mind off it, I know it sounds stupid but go out, watch a film, draw a picture anything you enjoy doing I think it will calm you down and then once your calm you'll be able to think straight. Maybe even give meditation ago put all your effort into thinking about nothing and then slowly ease yourself back round for about an hour perhaps a half. I do meditation and occasionally I have epiphanies or just an extreme senstion of calm and tranquility, I know obviously you can't meditate 24/7 but do it when ever you start to feel worked up again if you can or just think and remember ho you felt or if you haven't tried it yet how you expect to feel. DAYDREAM it's fun and your mind can just wander try this http://www.wikihow.com/Daydream . I think you'll be fine good luck. hope this helps c:
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Zara Okoro
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I have tried to answer before but it didnt send so I'll just say some quick stuff this time. do stuff you enjoy go out, draw, go for walks anything! Definitely meditate and try this http://www.wikihow.com/Daydream it will keep you calm before you start and help you to think straight! If you can't do these things at certain times then just think of nothing, nothing at all clear your brain this is essentially meditating actually... here http://www.wikihow.com/Meditate hope this helps, good luck. You'll be fine c:
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Jim-Jam
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It seems like a good opportunity for you for all the reasons you've stated! I mean you know this but I suppose you should keep that in mind. If nothing else it's a good starting point if you've not had another job, no? If you don't mind, what kind of job is it and how old are you? Have you only just left school or left it a year or two but just haven't worked?

You could always consider the fact that if you don't like it it doesn't have to be forever, when you start you won't even think about these worries you've been having, they've probably come about because of all the 'sitting at home' as you call it! Plus the starting a new job worries. You have to give it at least some time before you can make this kind of judgement?

Your parents probably just want what's best for you. And in the future if you turn it down because of being nervous to start with (Completely natural) you may regret it too I suppose? But yep they probably know that everybody has to do this kind of thing or step out of their comfort zone and really you can only give it a go. It's just nerves.

I'm saying all of this and I know I'd be exactly the same haha, proof that you can step back and look at it. I know exactly how you feel.
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Anonymous #1
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Thank you so much for the responses, both of you. I'm 18 and I left school this year. I went to uni but it didn't work out, I wasn't enjoying the course and was terribly, painfully homesick. I feel angry at myself that I'm now back at home (which is what I wanted) and have a good job yet I'm feeling sick to my stomach about it. My mum's just yelled at me for about the fifth time to do my contract and I am fighting back tears.

You are right though, I know I'd regret this if I didn't try it. I almost wish I could just start tomorrow so I could get it over with, sick of having such a horrible pain in my chest all the time!!
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Anonymous #2
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(Original post by Anonymous)
Hi there. I start a new job (first ever job) next week but I want nothing more than to rip up the contract and cry. I'm on the verge of tears all day, every day because I can't stop worrying about it. I feel under so much pressure to like it; the pay and benefits are great, it's a brilliant opportunity (I didn't go to uni and it's hard to get into this field without a degree) and it's not too far from home (well, it's too far for me personally but everyone keeps saying it's not). My family keep saying how they are sooooo proud of me and all I can do is fake a smile in response.

I worry that it will be very difficult to adjust to the full-time hours after having done nothing except sit at home for about 6 months. The drives to and from work will be entirely within rush hour so I'll have to leave early in the morning and get home late; it seems like I'll barely have any time to myself each day. I'm worried about not liking the tasks or the environment and I'm not happy about the compulsory overtime rota. My heart sinks every time I think about the job. I'm getting bad stomach cramps and backache. Can't even bring myself to sign the contract, but I know I have to. Told my parents about my feelings and they screamed at me, saying how my life was perfect and that this is an amazing opportunity (it IS, I know that, I just don't feel like it is) and that I WILL be going next week. I feel so down and trapped.

The thing is, I don't know what I'd do otherwise if I wasn't working this job. I feel like I should have looked for an easier, possibly part-time job before taking this one so I could gain experience of working without being under quite so much pressure. I'm going to be thrown straight into months of training, so it's not even a case of giving it a couple of weeks to adjust to my duties.

This sucks. Can anyone offer any advice or comfort?? Thank you so much in advance.
Hi

Sending you all the hugs in the world because I've been in the exact same position as you and know exactly how it feels. :console:

I'll tell you a bit about myself before I give some advice. I have anxiety and worry over most things. I graduated from university and felt exactly like you. I was actually looking forward to getting a job and earning some cash but one day my anxiety flared up and I became a wreck. I was worrying about whether I could cope with a full time job, the hours, not being at home as much as what I use to be etc. It got to the point where I couldn't go to job interviews because I was constantly crying, felt depressed, felt sick and had anxiety related chest pains. It got to the point where I lost interest in everything and could barely get out of bed. I was put on medication after going to my GP which helped a lot. After being on the medication for a few weeks I started going to job interviews again. I still had some of the worries I previously had but I forced myself to carry on.

After a few weeks of interviews I got a job interview for a full time office job and found out a few days later I had the job. I went back into my old ways but I was not as bad. I to was crying the days leading up to my first day and had a few panic attacks but I pushed through them as I was determined to make this job work. The night and morning before I was a wreck but I pushed through. The first day itself was no where near as bad as what I made out to be. Yes working can be hard work but it's not all doom and gloom I do have fun moments. I do still have days where my anxiety is badish but I push through it and it does pass. I've now been at this job for a while now which is proof that if I can do it you surely can!

Now I'm going to give you some advice. In the days leading up to your first day, you will feel nervous which may result in more crying and worrying BUT! I promise you will get through it no matter what you decide. Your first day will properly be filling our forms, meeting people and induction so this will allow you to see the environment you will be working in. Don't feel under pressure to like this job. If you don't like it then you don't like it! you can always look for something else. You say you're worried about not enjoying the tasks. Most people who work hate something or want to change something about their job. The downside to where I work is that the work is bloody boring!

Try not to judge it whether you like the job or not during your first week. Give it time. You say you are worrying about whether you will be able to cope with working full time. I had the same exact worry. Your first few months will be training which will give you plenty of time to adjust to your new job and the surroundings. Give yourself a break. It's your first full time job. I managed to get through the first week of my job not to bad. I was tired but I dealt with it, there were times when I wanted to walk out and just go home but I forced myself to stay. I'm not saying you will feel like this all all but I'm just saying try not to give in to these feelings.

When I got my current job I told my family how I feel and they said something similar to what your parents said. They were not very supportive and just thought I was doing it for the attention (which I wasn't). There are always people other than your parents to talk to about how you feel. Try and talk to your friends. If you feel like you have no one else to talk to then TSR is a great place. I'm always here if you need to have a chat about this because I know how hard it can be.

Make sure you get plenty or rest the night before, go to bed earlier than normal. Try and get some sleep. I have to leave early in the morning and arrive late in the evening for work. It can be a pain on times but remember this is your first job. If you don't like the commute or the overtime rota then you can always look for something else. Remember this job does not have to be the job you do for the rest of your life. You do get holidays off each year. One motivation for me was to book a week off once I had been at my job for three months.

Lastly try and see the job as a means to an end. This job you say is a fantastic opportunity for you. Think of the good work experience you will gain and the awesome money you will make! try and think of the things you will be able to buy with the money especially with it coming up to Christmas! One of the motivations I have is that I don't want to be somebody who stays at home all day (even though I want to stay at home a lot of the time!). A job gives me money so I can have a life.

I know its tough but try and push yourself through the next few days. Try and distract yourself i.e watch a film, read a book ect. I promise you that although you feel like you're going through a tough time at the moment. It WILL get better! Good luck and all the best.

If you need anyone to talk to then reply back to this message!
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coatsoft
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stop complaining and work like everyone else
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Anonymous #3
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I am exactly the opposite, I have a job for the first time in over a period of 2 years, I am turning 23 soon and I am just eager to start working so much so that I feel sick, I still worry about a rejection even though I have been accepted and filled in tax form as well as sent documents and other forms etc. But I have no idea when I will start training, I am scared they will reject me, I haven't heard back from them in 4 days now and everyday seems like a year.

on top of the fear of being rejected I am also struggling with the nerves of starting regular work(well training first) but at least the excitement combats my nerves to some degree.

I don't know what to do with myself in the mean time, just living as a zombie eating, ****ting and sleeping for the past week or so.

I also signed on for about a month at the job centre, I hate them deeply, I hope I get the job so I will never face the humiliation of having to beg for survival.
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by Anonymous)
Hi

Sending you all the hugs in the world because I've been in the exact same position as you and know exactly how it feels. :console:

I'll tell you a bit about myself before I give some advice. I have anxiety and worry over most things. I graduated from university and felt exactly like you. I was actually looking forward to getting a job and earning some cash but one day my anxiety flared up and I became a wreck. I was worrying about whether I could cope with a full time job, the hours, not being at home as much as what I use to be etc. It got to the point where I couldn't go to job interviews because I was constantly crying, felt depressed, felt sick and had anxiety related chest pains. It got to the point where I lost interest in everything and could barely get out of bed. I was put on medication after going to my GP which helped a lot. After being on the medication for a few weeks I started going to job interviews again. I still had some of the worries I previously had but I forced myself to carry on.

After a few weeks of interviews I got a job interview for a full time office job and found out a few days later I had the job. I went back into my old ways but I was not as bad. I to was crying the days leading up to my first day and had a few panic attacks but I pushed through them as I was determined to make this job work. The night and morning before I was a wreck but I pushed through. The first day itself was no where near as bad as what I made out to be. Yes working can be hard work but it's not all doom and gloom I do have fun moments. I do still have days where my anxiety is badish but I push through it and it does pass. I've now been at this job for a while now which is proof that if I can do it you surely can!

Now I'm going to give you some advice. In the days leading up to your first day, you will feel nervous which may result in more crying and worrying BUT! I promise you will get through it no matter what you decide. Your first day will properly be filling our forms, meeting people and induction so this will allow you to see the environment you will be working in. Don't feel under pressure to like this job. If you don't like it then you don't like it! you can always look for something else. You say you're worried about not enjoying the tasks. Most people who work hate something or want to change something about their job. The downside to where I work is that the work is bloody boring!

Try not to judge it whether you like the job or not during your first week. Give it time. You say you are worrying about whether you will be able to cope with working full time. I had the same exact worry. Your first few months will be training which will give you plenty of time to adjust to your new job and the surroundings. Give yourself a break. It's your first full time job. I managed to get through the first week of my job not to bad. I was tired but I dealt with it, there were times when I wanted to walk out and just go home but I forced myself to stay. I'm not saying you will feel like this all all but I'm just saying try not to give in to these feelings.

When I got my current job I told my family how I feel and they said something similar to what your parents said. They were not very supportive and just thought I was doing it for the attention (which I wasn't). There are always people other than your parents to talk to about how you feel. Try and talk to your friends. If you feel like you have no one else to talk to then TSR is a great place. I'm always here if you need to have a chat about this because I know how hard it can be.

Make sure you get plenty or rest the night before, go to bed earlier than normal. Try and get some sleep. I have to leave early in the morning and arrive late in the evening for work. It can be a pain on times but remember this is your first job. If you don't like the commute or the overtime rota then you can always look for something else. Remember this job does not have to be the job you do for the rest of your life. You do get holidays off each year. One motivation for me was to book a week off once I had been at my job for three months.

Lastly try and see the job as a means to an end. This job you say is a fantastic opportunity for you. Think of the good work experience you will gain and the awesome money you will make! try and think of the things you will be able to buy with the money especially with it coming up to Christmas! One of the motivations I have is that I don't want to be somebody who stays at home all day (even though I want to stay at home a lot of the time!). A job gives me money so I can have a life.

I know its tough but try and push yourself through the next few days. Try and distract yourself i.e watch a film, read a book ect. I promise you that although you feel like you're going through a tough time at the moment. It WILL get better! Good luck and all the best.

If you need anyone to talk to then reply back to this message!
Thank you SO much for sharing your experience, it's really reassuring to know that there are people who feel/have felt the same way! I'll definitely take everything you've said on board. I agree with you about the money, my first wage will actually be my biggest (due to my weird start date) so I want to make Christmas good for my little sister, she never gets much.

(Original post by coatsoft)
stop complaining and work like everyone else
I AM going to work :confused: How is my anxiety affecting you? Clearly enough to post an unnecessary comment, apparently. As soon as I realised uni wasn't going to work out, I started seeking work and I was actually offered the very first job I interviewed for. I've not been on jobseekers or anything like that, and I'm now going to be earning and paying taxes
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coatsoft
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(Original post by Anonymous)
Thank you SO much for sharing your experience, it's really reassuring to know that there are people who feel/have felt the same way! I'll definitely take everything you've said on board. I agree with you about the money, my first wage will actually be my biggest (due to my weird start date) so I want to make Christmas good for my little sister, she never gets much.



I AM going to work :confused: How is my anxiety affecting you? Clearly enough to post an unnecessary comment, apparently. As soon as I realised uni wasn't going to work out, I started seeking work and I was actually offered the very first job I interviewed for. I've not been on jobseekers or anything like that, and I'm now going to be earning and paying taxes
But you've finally got one and your now practically crying over it
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Wow! I'm like that too - I have a job starting on the 6th of janurary - it's full time, it's very very good pay, and it's an apprenticeship in project management (I haven't got a GCSE english!) - I left school at 18 too and the last time I had a full time job (when I was 19, 3 years ago)

So many reasons to be scared!

I'm just keeping busy - I think that's all you can do - it took me two weeks to sign the contract - but it was a very good feeling once I did.

I have also decided that if I don't like it I can resign - remember that you can do that too - just calmly tell people that the job isn't for you and is making you sad. (altho I very much doubt that you will dislike it! )

You know that you will try your best once you get there - jobs are actually very easy
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Runninground
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(Original post by Anonymous)
Hi there. I start a new job (first ever job) next week but I want nothing more than to rip up the contract and cry. I'm on the verge of tears all day, every day because I can't stop worrying about it. I feel under so much pressure to like it; the pay and benefits are great, it's a brilliant opportunity (I didn't go to uni and it's hard to get into this field without a degree) and it's not too far from home (well, it's too far for me personally but everyone keeps saying it's not). My family keep saying how they are sooooo proud of me and all I can do is fake a smile in response.

I worry that it will be very difficult to adjust to the full-time hours after having done nothing except sit at home for about 6 months. The drives to and from work will be entirely within rush hour so I'll have to leave early in the morning and get home late; it seems like I'll barely have any time to myself each day. I'm worried about not liking the tasks or the environment and I'm not happy about the compulsory overtime rota. My heart sinks every time I think about the job. I'm getting bad stomach cramps and backache. Can't even bring myself to sign the contract, but I know I have to. Told my parents about my feelings and they screamed at me, saying how my life was perfect and that this is an amazing opportunity (it IS, I know that, I just don't feel like it is) and that I WILL be going next week. I feel so down and trapped.

The thing is, I don't know what I'd do otherwise if I wasn't working this job. I feel like I should have looked for an easier, possibly part-time job before taking this one so I could gain experience of working without being under quite so much pressure. I'm going to be thrown straight into months of training, so it's not even a case of giving it a couple of weeks to adjust to my duties.

This sucks. Can anyone offer any advice or comfort?? Thank you so much in advance.
First of all, you'll really kick yourself in a few years if you don't give it a go. You'll always wonder what kind of life you could have had if you took that job.

I started working about half a year ago like you- going from 3 an a bit days a week at college to 5 7.5 hour days a week. I don't have a degree and the job I started was as an accountant. I had very very limited knowledge (I didn't even know what a debit & credit were) and it is a training scheme.

Adjusting to full time work isn't that hard. My tip is to put your alarm on the other side of your room so when it goes off you have to get up to turn it off. You first week will feel like hell- you'll be so tired at the end of the week that you could easily sleep all of saturday. You'll need to start going to be earlier and going straight to sleep- no watching TV or anything in bed.

After the first week, it starts to get easier. It's always hard to get up but you've got to do it. You have to for every full time job. Once you get into a routine it's easier. I was quite happy to spend almost 9 hours out of the house because I was so bored at college, I spent most of my free time sitting indoors doing nothing.

Diving in rush hour is pretty scary for the first few goes. But again, it gets easier. You start to work out when to change lanes and where the traffic will be. It makes you a better driver too. My driving has much improved since I started work.

You'll have all evening and weekend to do what you want. This was plenty of time for me.

I was told no overtime will be necessary at my job but sometimes I do it anyway, just to clear a job or to build up some time so I can take an extra day off. Overtime is nothing to worry about. It's not going to be anything wild.

Not liking the tasks or environment- you won't know till you go. You're going into a job that requires training so you're going to spend a lot of time doing the dull jobs right at the bottom. It's a good start to your career. You've got to earn respect.

Being thrown into training is great- you'll feel more confident when you know what you've got to do.

Sign the contract, start the job. Give it a go. Look for the good points about the job. Think about your future. If you turn it down and go for an easier job, you may never get this opportunity again. It will be a solid start to your career and you should think yourself lucky that you've been offered a job, thousands would sign that contract without a second thought.

If you want a good career, you've got to learn the rules before you play the game, and unfortunately learning the rules involves doing the rubbish tasks.

Can I ask what the job is?
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It's****ingWOODY
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(Original post by coatsoft)
stop complaining and work like everyone else
Seriously. Stay out of the mental health forum forever.
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Mike_123
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(Original post by Anonymous)
Hi there. I start a new job (first ever job) next week but I want nothing more than to rip up the contract and cry. I'm on the verge of tears all day, every day because I can't stop worrying about it. I feel under so much pressure to like it; the pay and benefits are great, it's a brilliant opportunity (I didn't go to uni and it's hard to get into this field without a degree) and it's not too far from home (well, it's too far for me personally but everyone keeps saying it's not). My family keep saying how they are sooooo proud of me and all I can do is fake a smile in response.

I worry that it will be very difficult to adjust to the full-time hours after having done nothing except sit at home for about 6 months. The drives to and from work will be entirely within rush hour so I'll have to leave early in the morning and get home late; it seems like I'll barely have any time to myself each day. I'm worried about not liking the tasks or the environment and I'm not happy about the compulsory overtime rota. My heart sinks every time I think about the job. I'm getting bad stomach cramps and backache. Can't even bring myself to sign the contract, but I know I have to. Told my parents about my feelings and they screamed at me, saying how my life was perfect and that this is an amazing opportunity (it IS, I know that, I just don't feel like it is) and that I WILL be going next week. I feel so down and trapped.

The thing is, I don't know what I'd do otherwise if I wasn't working this job. I feel like I should have looked for an easier, possibly part-time job before taking this one so I could gain experience of working without being under quite so much pressure. I'm going to be thrown straight into months of training, so it's not even a case of giving it a couple of weeks to adjust to my duties.

This sucks. Can anyone offer any advice or comfort?? Thank you so much in advance.
So many people who die to have a job and such an opportunity. Make the most of it. Work hard and enjoy yourself.
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smileswhensad
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I can really relate to your situation. I am going back to work after 12 years (I left my last job to go on maternity leave and just never went back, iv had 2 children in this time). I start my new job in a week and a half and I have had 2 induction days and I am extremely nervouse. I haven't slept properly since the interveiw 4 weeks ago and when I think about my new job I feel sick. I also do the fake smile thing when my family congratulate me on the new job. I wish I had never applied for the post...even though I know that it's the first step to changing my life for the better. I'm thinking now that I am suffering from social anxiety and it's what's making me feel this bad.
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furryface12
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(Original post by smileswhensad)
I can really relate to your situation. I am going back to work after 12 years (I left my last job to go on maternity leave and just never went back, iv had 2 children in this time). I start my new job in a week and a half and I have had 2 induction days and I am extremely nervouse. I haven't slept properly since the interveiw 4 weeks ago and when I think about my new job I feel sick. I also do the fake smile thing when my family congratulate me on the new job. I wish I had never applied for the post...even though I know that it's the first step to changing my life for the better. I'm thinking now that I am suffering from social anxiety and it's what's making me feel this bad.
This is a really old thread so I'm going to lock it, you're welcome to start your own about this though! It could be worth seeing your GP if it's affecting you and/or your family a lot and you think it might your work. Good luck in your new job!


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