How to stop worrying? Feeling useless etc.. Watch

Anonymous #1
#1
Report Thread starter 5 years ago
#1
Okay so I'm not claiming to have mental health issues or anything as far as I know I don't but I am just constantly worrying about things at the moment and it's bringing me down... (Wanted to get it off my chest really, the people here are usually ace for advice/talking to, sorry if it's in the wrong place!)

I left school in May of this year after 6th form, results wise I got 3 A-Levels, not the best grades but still, never wanted to go to Uni really at all, plus I still don't have a clue what I want to do as a 'career'. So this means I'm still here working more or less full time in the part time job I've had about a year and a half. It's in the evening's, under 30 hours a week really and one problem I have at the moment is I feel useless during the days. Don't know what to do. Feel like I should have another job or be going to college or something.

Met a girl through work, started seeing her 2-3 months ago and we've been together 'officially' for a bit over a month now. She's great and everything I want, absolutely perfect and couldn't have asked for a better girlfriend. She's made me so much happier, the months I was talking to her, when I was seeing her, now that we're together! But the fact she's still at school (Also goes to the same school I did) doing A Levels, working, and planning Uni for in two years time depresses me and it shouldn't. Once again I'm feeling left behind, indecisive and pointless. Most people I know have gone to Uni, and so it was already like this a bit. I have one best friend at Uni (Though he is dropping out I think), another at the other side of the world and one still here. But all of a sudden life's a lot more lonely, I feel like I'm dependant on seeing my girlfriend now and I don't want it to be weird...

I worry about the future. How am I going to find something I enjoy when I don't have a clue what? How am I going to even get a job to start saving, move out in a few years, save up for when I have a family etc etc, how can I stop this?! I worry about everything, get far too attached and yeah... It's just weird!
0
reply
benplumley
Badges: 11
Rep:
?
#2
Report 5 years ago
#2
Why not use the time you have in the day to try things out to see what sort of career you want? Think of a few careers to do with areas you have an interest in, and just try out what they do in the time you have before you work. I want a career in computer science, so I'll use that as an example, but it'd work for non academic subjects too. Google "what does a software engineer do" or whatever, it'd come up with 'programming', so you'd Google "programming for beginners". Then just have a go at a few like this, and see what you keep coming back to when you have a bit of free time.
0
reply
Anonymous #1
#3
Report Thread starter 5 years ago
#3
That's a good point. I can be productive and do stuff but it isn't even just feeling lazy, I literally feel like I have nothing to do! :/

I'll see how things go this week, I'm back at work some evenings and through the day one day so we'll see! Thanks for the advice though, it can just be difficult.
0
reply
nrobinson24
Badges: 0
Rep:
?
#4
Report 5 years ago
#4
I feel exactly the same as you

I left school when I was 17 due to depression, anxiety and feeling isolated. I finally grew enough confidence to return to school to finish my A levels because I want to feel as though I have achieved something at least. I'm not sure if I want to go to uni, firstly because I don't know what I actually want to do as a career, and secondly because I can't deal with being away from home (I could commute, but I still wouldn't know what course to do!). I had a boyfriend who was perfect, literally everything was amazing and then yesterday he said to me that he didn't want to be together anymore. He didn't give me a reason he just said that his feelings for me changed a few weeks ago but says he doesn't know why. Now I'm feeling like all of the depression that I've escaped for the last few months through being with him has engulfed me and I'm really not coping well. I want to drop out of school again but I know I'll regret this. I have a job but it's in a shop so when my anxiety is playing up I really struggle and my performance drops and I annoy my managers. I'm aware that I'm being like it I just don't know how to stop it. I don't speak to my dad, I've never really had him there so I think this is maybe why I feel so dependant on guys because I need that male figure there. I don't know, life's just so difficult and nobody understands and I don't know what to do
0
reply
nguyenj
Badges: 10
Rep:
?
#5
Report 5 years ago
#5
(Original post by Anonymous)
Okay so I'm not claiming to have mental health issues or anything as far as I know I don't but I am just constantly worrying about things at the moment and it's bringing me down... (Wanted to get it off my chest really, the people here are usually ace for advice/talking to, sorry if it's in the wrong place!)

I left school in May of this year after 6th form, results wise I got 3 A-Levels, not the best grades but still, never wanted to go to Uni really at all, plus I still don't have a clue what I want to do as a 'career'. So this means I'm still here working more or less full time in the part time job I've had about a year and a half. It's in the evening's, under 30 hours a week really and one problem I have at the moment is I feel useless during the days. Don't know what to do. Feel like I should have another job or be going to college or something.

Met a girl through work, started seeing her 2-3 months ago and we've been together 'officially' for a bit over a month now. She's great and everything I want, absolutely perfect and couldn't have asked for a better girlfriend. She's made me so much happier, the months I was talking to her, when I was seeing her, now that we're together! But the fact she's still at school (Also goes to the same school I did) doing A Levels, working, and planning Uni for in two years time depresses me and it shouldn't. Once again I'm feeling left behind, indecisive and pointless. Most people I know have gone to Uni, and so it was already like this a bit. I have one best friend at Uni (Though he is dropping out I think), another at the other side of the world and one still here. But all of a sudden life's a lot more lonely, I feel like I'm dependant on seeing my girlfriend now and I don't want it to be weird...

I worry about the future. How am I going to find something I enjoy when I don't have a clue what? How am I going to even get a job to start saving, move out in a few years, save up for when I have a family etc etc, how can I stop this?! I worry about everything, get far too attached and yeah... It's just weird!
I think I know how you feel about this. It's like you're getting left behind and everyone's just living the dream, right?

First of all, be aware of the options you have. Just because you don't want to go to university, doesn't mean there are no other routes to do something else. Have you tried look at apprenticeships? They're more vocational courses and are more practical. You get paid as you work and learn as opposed to university where you learn and do exams.

I think for a person in your current situation, you're one who needs just a bit more time. And that's completely okay. Congratulations on your A levels by the way! They're the hardest part of your education and so they are a real achievement even if you think they are not the best grades.

Use some of your time to find out what you like doing. I know it can be overwhelming, but just take a little step at a time. For instance, have you had a liking to literature? Do you like drawing or painting? Writing stories? Baking or cooking? Are you more into the business side of things? There are so many careers to choose from and some you're probably not aware of.

Just because you choose something to begin with doesn't mean that this is forever. You may change your mind a few years down the line, and that's completely okay too.

You're not pointless, and as for the indecisive part? You have a right to be. A lot of people feel the same way you do. Heck, there's even 30 year olds out there who still don't know what they want to be when they "grow up."

And you're not useless. Honestly, you're not. I've never met anyone useless before, but I refuse to believe that you are. You're just a bit lost right now and you just need a little guidance to get you started. Use things and the people you love as your inspiration. Do these things for them, but most of all, do it for yourself because you deserve it.

I know society is constantly pressuring us into going to university and getting a job afterwards and stuff like that. And just because some aren't going to university, society makes us feel like we're left out or that we're not good enough. But you're more than good enough.

You have a mind of your own, a heart of your own, and you have your own opinion too. So just do what you love the most. And if you don't know what that is? Inspiration and ideas will come to you. It's not the end of the road, it's only just begun because it's never too late for these things.

Who knows? You may find yourself with a business a few years down the line, or maybe it'll be 20 years before you feel like you want to go to university. Just know that these options will always be open to you, by the way.

So my advice for the time being is get involved in more things. Start new things too. For example, learn how to play a guitar on youtube, or start teaching yourself how to cook using recipes. Read more books - the more the better! Go out more and attend festivals, meet new people and talk, and you'll find out how much beauty there is out there.

Once you find yourself surrounded with these amazing things, you'll feel so much more better and more content.

Things are going to be okay, you know? I know it's hard to believe right now, but they will be okay. I know that I don't know you at all, but I believe they will be in time to come.

Just remember:

You can be whatever you want to be. Just give it a shot and see where you go.

And if you're still stuck right now, indulge yourself in the things you love doing whether it be staying up late watching movies all night, eating lots of sugary crap, dancing like nobody's watching or just being plain crazy by running around in the rain or making snow angels when it snows.

There's a world out there just for you, it's just a matter of time until you find it.

Remember, everything's going to be okay.

From, Jenny (PS. Good luck, dude! YOU GOT THIS.)
0
reply
blondyx
Badges: 17
Rep:
?
#6
Report 5 years ago
#6
(Original post by nrobinson24)
I feel exactly the same as you

I left school when I was 17 due to depression, anxiety and feeling isolated. I finally grew enough confidence to return to school to finish my A levels because I want to feel as though I have achieved something at least. I'm not sure if I want to go to uni, firstly because I don't know what I actually want to do as a career, and secondly because I can't deal with being away from home (I could commute, but I still wouldn't know what course to do!). I had a boyfriend who was perfect, literally everything was amazing and then yesterday he said to me that he didn't want to be together anymore. He didn't give me a reason he just said that his feelings for me changed a few weeks ago but says he doesn't know why. Now I'm feeling like all of the depression that I've escaped for the last few months through being with him has engulfed me and I'm really not coping well. I want to drop out of school again but I know I'll regret this. I have a job but it's in a shop so when my anxiety is playing up I really struggle and my performance drops and I annoy my managers. I'm aware that I'm being like it I just don't know how to stop it. I don't speak to my dad, I've never really had him there so I think this is maybe why I feel so dependant on guys because I need that male figure there. I don't know, life's just so difficult and nobody understands and I don't know what to do
Hi Robinson, really sorry to hear all that. If you want to talj about it more you can PM me.

OP - Don't worry. So many people feel the same way as you do. I am 24 and have only recently decided what career I want and I am not even 100% about it.
Try different jobs or try and shadow someone. The answer will come to you with experience. If you don't like one thing try another.
What might also help is creating a list of a few of the things you might be interested in and compare them all. Eg the salary, career prospects, job availability etc.

Regarding not knowing what to do in the days, try new things. You could do anything!

Posted from TSR Mobile
0
reply
X

Quick Reply

Attached files
Write a reply...
Reply
new posts
Latest
My Feed

See more of what you like on
The Student Room

You can personalise what you see on TSR. Tell us a little about yourself to get started.

Personalise

How did your AQA A-level Psychology Paper 1 go?

Loved the paper - Feeling positive (73)
21.86%
The paper was reasonable (147)
44.01%
Not feeling great about that exam... (60)
17.96%
It was TERRIBLE (54)
16.17%

Watched Threads

View All