Am I right to be annoyed? Watch

northy16
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Hi TSR,

So basically my grandparent, who I live with during term time, cooks roast dinners every day. Literally. On Monday its pork, potatoes peas. Tuesday is beef, potatoes, peas. Wednesday is lamb etc.

Anyway most of the time I have something else as I don't like meat that much, but I get ****ged off terrible for it. I heard her tell another relative "He looks at me gone out when I have a cooked meal". Which is not true. I look at her gone out when she wants the 5th cooked dinner of the week.

I know people will say "your lucky to get a dinner etc" and of course that is true, but am I in the wrong for being pissed off by it? I don't really get on with my family, staying with relatives whilst at uni was a massive mistake and I'll be moving out fairly soon. But if I get an answer to this question it'll give me an indication of whose in the wrong overall.

Thanks
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shooks
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Doesn't sound like anyone's in the wrong so much - certainly not her for cooking you dinner.

But I'd take it as a sign that you need your own space.
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Carnationlilyrose
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(Original post by northy16)
Hi TSR,

So basically my grandparent, who I live with during term time, cooks roast dinners every day. Literally. On Monday its pork, potatoes peas. Tuesday is beef, potatoes, peas. Wednesday is lamb etc.

Anyway most of the time I have something else as I don't like meat that much, but I get ****ged off terrible for it. I heard her tell another relative "He looks at me gone out when I have a cooked meal". Which is not true. I look at her gone out when she wants the 5th cooked dinner of the week.

I know people will say "your lucky to get a dinner etc" and of course that is true, but am I in the wrong for being pissed off by it? I don't really get on with my family, staying with relatives whilst at uni was a massive mistake and I'll be moving out fairly soon. But if I get an answer to this question it'll give me an indication of whose in the wrong overall.

Thanks
I'm guessing from the fact that you use the phrase 'looking at me gone out' that you are from Yorkshire or thereabouts. I'm a Yorkshire mum. Saying how you feel about the people you love is difficult for the older generations of Yorkshire folk - I know, because that's how my parents were - and so they show it by heaping your plate with food as a sign of how much they love you. (It's one of the reasons I have a weight problem...) Your grandmother doesn't have any idea what your life is like or how your generation operates, probably, but what she does know is that everyone needs to eat and the better she makes that for you, in her eyes, the more she shows she loves you. Be gentle and try to see what this is - an expression of love - and don't be cruel in rejecting it. How would you feel?
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northy16
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(Original post by shooks)
Doesn't sound like anyone's in the wrong so much - certainly not her for cooking you dinner.

But I'd take it as a sign that you need your own space.
The dinner thing was just one example. Other things my grandparents have a go at me about is the fact that I don't talk much. They're all mouth and talk without thinking, where as I am more introverted and think about what I say. We even have disagreements about what I wear. She's always telling me to wear a thick winter coat whereas I prefer to wear a smaller jacket. Just little stuff I've given examples off that annoy me.

I realise they are trying to look out for me, but it feels like I'm being mollycoddled and babied a little bit. I think you're right, I need to live on my own and become more independent from them.
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northy16
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(Original post by carnationlilyrose)
I'm guessing from the fact that you use the phrase 'looking at me gone out' that you are from Yorkshire or thereabouts. I'm a Yorkshire mum. Saying how you feel about the people you love is difficult for the older generations of Yorkshire folk - I know, because that's how my parents were - and so they show it by heaping your plate with food as a sign of how much they love you. (It's one of the reasons I have a weight problem...) Your grandmother doesn't have any idea what your life is like or how your generation operates, probably, but what she does know is that everyone needs to eat and the better she makes that for you, in her eyes, the more she shows she loves you. Be gentle and try to see what this is - an expression of love - and don't be cruel in rejecting it. How would you feel?
I'm from the east midlands, but my family are from the sort of Yeovil and somerset area. Your right in a sense, she complains I eat too much junk food (which isn't true, I have a fairly good diet) but then serves giant portions of roast dinner. I also think there is a generation gap between us ( they can't understand why kids have iphones and videogame etc but don't play out on there bikes).

I'm trying to be kind to them, I often lie to keep myself from offending them, but often they don't extend the same courtesy. And like I said its not just the dinners, it's other stuff too.
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Carnationlilyrose
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(Original post by northy16)
I'm from the east midlands, but my family are from the sort of Yeovil and somerset area. Your right in a sense, she complains I eat too much junk food (which isn't true, I have a fairly good diet) but then serves giant portions of roast dinner. I also think there is a generation gap between us ( they can't understand why kids have iphones and videogame etc but don't play out on there bikes).

I'm trying to be kind to them, I often lie to keep myself from offending them, but often they don't extend the same courtesy. And like I said its not just the dinners, it's other stuff too.
East Midlands is near enough. It's a Sheffield saying, which is pretty close. All I can say is, it's a way of showing love to someone they don't understand.
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northy16
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(Original post by carnationlilyrose)
East Midlands is near enough. It's a Sheffield saying, which is pretty close. All I can say is, it's a way of showing love to someone they don't understand.
Yeah, I understand. No one in our family show love in the "usual" ways. We're not the huggy, kissy , feely type. It's more like insult them and be hard on them to show you care.

Just that I'm more sensitive than the others I guess. Not that I can't take a joke or anything, but when you've got pressures and troubles of your own, the last thing you need is someone making sarcastic, fascitious and flippant comments about your personality, or whatever.
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Carnationlilyrose
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(Original post by northy16)
Yeah, I understand. No one in our family show love in the "usual" ways. We're not the huggy, kissy , feely type. It's more like insult them and be hard on them to show you care.

Just that I'm more sensitive than the others I guess. Not that I can't take a joke or anything, but when you've got pressures and troubles of your own, the last thing you need is someone making sarcastic, fascitious and flippant comments about your personality, or whatever.
My family was exactly the same. When the chips are down, though, they will be there, even if they can't tell you why.
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ChaosisaLadder
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One way round this is to offer to do the cooking some nights? Then you can make what you want and it seems like you're being helpful!
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