Anon please, because Idk if I have any family members on here!
My parents went through a VERY bitter divorce a few years ago, during which I lost contact with my Dad's side of the family (well, they cut me and my sister out). I had no issue with this at the time and they have remained out of my life for the last 3 years, I still speak with my Dad regularly but naturally we aren't as close as we were due to a lot of negative events that went on through the divorce.
My Dad got in touch with me and my sister to tell me that our nan has been taken into hospital with pneumonia, which turned out to be cancer which has spread all over her body and she is going to die, very - very soon. I'm the oldest granddaughter and used to be relatively close with my nan before all this family drama. However, she was very cruel to my Mother and I ceased all contact 3 years ago and have only seen her once since then (I was amicable).
My Dad is obviously devastated and feels very guilty, he wants me to go visit her in hospital. This is something that is troubling me, part of me wants to see her because she is my Nan but the other part remembers all of the cruel events and how badly her input effected me. Also, what would my Mother think? I also do not want any contact with any other family members on my Dads side, what if I see them at the hospital? I'd be horrified!
I can't relate to that situation so I might not give you the best advice, but I think you should go. Maybe ask your dad when you can go and be there on your own, but do consider going. If you don't, you might regret it when it's too late.
Go - you won't get a second chance, and very often people regret not having taken the opportunity to see someone one last time / say goodbye / make their peace. This is especially true as it sounds like going to the funeral might be tricky for you, so this really is the last chance that you have to say goodbye to her.
Speak to your dad about when you can go at a time that the rest of the family won't be there. You don't have to tell your mum that you're going either - just say you're going out with friends, or meeting up with your dad, or whatever.
I am sorry to hear about this OP but if I was you I would go. Perhaps this might be a way to amend your relationship with your father and his family?
Tbh if someone did something horrible to my mum, id never see them- or something bad is goinna go down.
I can't think of anything I really really regret doing. I can think of lots of things I really regret not doing though.
Thanks everyone for the replies. My Nan died tonight. I went to visit her, she was not awake or competences therefore I could not speak to her. Although, I'm glad I did see her. Thanks everyone x
Sorry for the loss. At least you'll never regret not going.
If you don't go you'll regret it for the rest of your life.
be strong..may the love around those you know help you through the days ahead.