Did she ever like me? Watch

Anonymous #1
#1
Report Thread starter 5 years ago
#1
Sorry about this it is going to be a long post. But I have literally no idea who to ask. My friends don't really want to weigh in as this girl and I have similar friendship groups which sucks.

Just before the summer something started with this girl on my course. It was kind of out of the blue. We had sex a couple of times and from there on we got really chatty. She had told me at the time she wanted to wait until September because we wouldn't be able to see each other regularly. But by June she had started referring to us as an item. In July though she said it was too much (I think because I was away I was probably talking to her too much and she might've felt cramped). Anywho, we still agreed to give it a shot in September.

July and August went by, she screwed someone else, as did I. Wasn't too fussed as we weren't together. By the end of August we were at a party and she said I made her feel like her friend's weren't there for her after the breakup (sounded like September wasn't happening). Despite this I ended up making out with her.

We went to dinner 'just as friends' in September. I walked her back to hers. I wasn't intending on 'trying' anything but she invited me in and showed me the new place etc. We ended up in the bed room and as I was walking out of politeness she asked if I was 'staying'. I told her I need to go the toilet. When I came back she was in the kitchen and told me there were other places to sleep (suddenly changed her mind?). The next morning she actually texted me saying I could 'leave without waking her' if I wanted to which was really kind of awkward..

A few days later I pulled her on this topic because I genuinely didn't understand the situation at all and she told me she felt nothing for me. So I'd figured screw it, I'll move on.

We were out one night in a group and it was just us two sitting at the table while others were getting drinks. She said 'this is awkward' ans I asked her why? I was trying to be the good guy and told her that whatever happened between us was gone and that I had a good time but I hold no grudges. She asked if I still liked her and I said 'no'. I think I did it as a defense mechanism, I think I did it to be adult. We have similar friends -- I don't want them to 'pick sides' etc as she is a lovely girl and I think that what happened between us shouldn't impact social groups. She started crying and ran off with one of her friends. When she came back I asked if she wanted to go outside and talk about it.

So we went outside and she said she was upset because I said I didn't like her anymore. I'm not sure if she just wanted the attention or not. I told her (I was a little drunk) that I still liked her and i didn't mean to upset her. I was in an argument with her friend at the time (the one who she walked off with). Me and the friend are very tight (there's history there..) and we go to dinner a couple of times a month, catch up and are very tight. But friend's fight. In fact we were arguing because this girl doesn't respect her (the girl I like) and I said she should be nice to her. Anywho. We were kissing on the staircase, talking about getting back together and then her friend came up and had a go at me. An hour later she text me telling me her friendship with the girl was more important than a relationship with me. I figured it wasn't the real reason, partiuclarly as other girl was not making her choose, and I certainly wasn't.

So now I'm confused. What's the real reason? Well I said she told me in August I made her think her friend's weren't there for me. They weren't. At the time I took the blame for something her friend was spreading about her. I know it sounds mad, but I figured I was already in the 'hole' at the time and one more couldn't hurt. I was kind of in a crappy place -- would I tell her one of her closest friends was horrible to her or would I lie and say it never happened and that I only said it drunk to make her upset.

A couple of weeks ago, she found out that I lied to make her feel better. And things seemed to change again. She talks to me a lot again, she wants to go to the gym together, grab a drink, etc. The difference in conversation is quite shocking. I know the amount of xs in a message usually means jack all. But I used to get 2 or 3. Now I get 4-5. It sounds silly but it's at the end of every message now, almost as if she is trying to show interest. Or am I overanalysing? She did tell me that when she thought I betrayed her was the moment she stopped caring what I thought of her, but I can't help feel it's back. Then last week, she drunkenly told a friend of mine that she likes to make me jealous and watch me (she was flirting with some guy all night on our night out). It pissed me off quite badly and I told her this, and didn't speak to her for a few days.

She told me today that she missed talking to me and she said she 'does like me'. Does that mean she likes me as a friend or does she actually like me?

I'm so sorry for all this long message, but I had to get this off my chest. Does she just like attention? People make fun of her a bit based on her weight (her appearance is no odds to me) so I am wondering if she just appreciates some interest.

My brain says leave it she has done too many bad things:

* Initiate a relationship then blame you for being too 'boyfriendy' even though you agreed to wait.
* Tell you she feels nothing for you but kiss you
* Get upset when you say you are over her, but tell you an hour later after agreeing to get back her friend (who *****es about her *constantly*) is more important.
* Likes making you jealous.

Just reading that, she sounds immature. But I don't quite know anyone like her -- she's unique and has this weird charm. And we can't go a day without talking.

Part of me just thinks she's very insecure -- she never speaks up about things, which is kind of a pain.

What do I do?
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Damsel in distress
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#2
Report 5 years ago
#2
(Original post by Anonymous)
Sorry about this it is going to be a long post. But I have literally no idea who to ask. My friends don't really want to weigh in as this girl and I have similar friendship groups which sucks.

Just before the summer something started with this girl on my course. It was kind of out of the blue. We had sex a couple of times and from there on we got really chatty. She had told me at the time she wanted to wait until September because we wouldn't be able to see each other regularly. But by June she had started referring to us as an item. In July though she said it was too much (I think because I was away I was probably talking to her too much and she might've felt cramped). Anywho, we still agreed to give it a shot in September.

July and August went by, she screwed someone else, as did I. Wasn't too fussed as we weren't together. By the end of August we were at a party and she said I made her feel like her friend's weren't there for her after the breakup (sounded like September wasn't happening). Despite this I ended up making out with her.

We went to dinner 'just as friends' in September. I walked her back to hers. I wasn't intending on 'trying' anything but she invited me in and showed me the new place etc. We ended up in the bed room and as I was walking out of politeness she asked if I was 'staying'. I told her I need to go the toilet. When I came back she was in the kitchen and told me there were other places to sleep (suddenly changed her mind?). The next morning she actually texted me saying I could 'leave without waking her' if I wanted to which was really kind of awkward..

A few days later I pulled her on this topic because I genuinely didn't understand the situation at all and she told me she felt nothing for me. So I'd figured screw it, I'll move on.

We were out one night in a group and it was just us two sitting at the table while others were getting drinks. She said 'this is awkward' ans I asked her why? I was trying to be the good guy and told her that whatever happened between us was gone and that I had a good time but I hold no grudges. She asked if I still liked her and I said 'no'. I think I did it as a defense mechanism, I think I did it to be adult. We have similar friends -- I don't want them to 'pick sides' etc as she is a lovely girl and I think that what happened between us shouldn't impact social groups. She started crying and ran off with one of her friends. When she came back I asked if she wanted to go outside and talk about it.

So we went outside and she said she was upset because I said I didn't like her anymore. I'm not sure if she just wanted the attention or not. I told her (I was a little drunk) that I still liked her and i didn't mean to upset her. I was in an argument with her friend at the time (the one who she walked off with). Me and the friend are very tight (there's history there..) and we go to dinner a couple of times a month, catch up and are very tight. But friend's fight. In fact we were arguing because this girl doesn't respect her (the girl I like) and I said she should be nice to her. Anywho. We were kissing on the staircase, talking about getting back together and then her friend came up and had a go at me. An hour later she text me telling me her friendship with the girl was more important than a relationship with me. I figured it wasn't the real reason, partiuclarly as other girl was not making her choose, and I certainly wasn't.

So now I'm confused. What's the real reason? Well I said she told me in August I made her think her friend's weren't there for me. They weren't. At the time I took the blame for something her friend was spreading about her. I know it sounds mad, but I figured I was already in the 'hole' at the time and one more couldn't hurt. I was kind of in a crappy place -- would I tell her one of her closest friends was horrible to her or would I lie and say it never happened and that I only said it drunk to make her upset.

A couple of weeks ago, she found out that I lied to make her feel better. And things seemed to change again. She talks to me a lot again, she wants to go to the gym together, grab a drink, etc. The difference in conversation is quite shocking. I know the amount of xs in a message usually means jack all. But I used to get 2 or 3. Now I get 4-5. It sounds silly but it's at the end of every message now, almost as if she is trying to show interest. Or am I overanalysing? She did tell me that when she thought I betrayed her was the moment she stopped caring what I thought of her, but I can't help feel it's back. Then last week, she drunkenly told a friend of mine that she likes to make me jealous and watch me (she was flirting with some guy all night on our night out). It pissed me off quite badly and I told her this, and didn't speak to her for a few days.

She told me today that she missed talking to me and she said she 'does like me'. Does that mean she likes me as a friend or does she actually like me?

I'm so sorry for all this long message, but I had to get this off my chest. Does she just like attention? People make fun of her a bit based on her weight (her appearance is no odds to me) so I am wondering if she just appreciates some interest.

My brain says leave it she has done too many bad things:

* Initiate a relationship then blame you for being too 'boyfriendy' even though you agreed to wait.
* Tell you she feels nothing for you but kiss you
* Get upset when you say you are over her, but tell you an hour later after agreeing to get back her friend (who *****es about her *constantly*) is more important.
* Likes making you jealous.

Just reading that, she sounds immature. But I don't quite know anyone like her -- she's unique and has this weird charm. And we can't go a day without talking.

Part of me just thinks she's very insecure -- she never speaks up about things, which is kind of a pain.

What do I do?
This is so complicated and confusing. I think you need to sit down with her without caring about anything at all and simply ask her if she likes you or not. Tell her to just forget about anything that happened before, to hell with all the games and everything. Just ask her if she wants to give it another chance. Now, only do this if you think that after everything she did and the type of person that she is, you still like her. It's not worth going through all the hassle otherwise as this is too complicated and draining. It really doesn't have to be so complicated. I hope you sort things out soon!
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MedicalMike
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#3
Report 5 years ago
#3
(Original post by Anonymous)
Sorry about this it is going to be a long post. But I have literally no idea who to ask. My friends don't really want to weigh in as this girl and I have similar friendship groups which sucks.

Just before the summer something started with this girl on my course. It was kind of out of the blue. We had sex a couple of times and from there on we got really chatty. She had told me at the time she wanted to wait until September because we wouldn't be able to see each other regularly. But by June she had started referring to us as an item. In July though she said it was too much (I think because I was away I was probably talking to her too much and she might've felt cramped). Anywho, we still agreed to give it a shot in September.

July and August went by, she screwed someone else, as did I. Wasn't too fussed as we weren't together. By the end of August we were at a party and she said I made her feel like her friend's weren't there for her after the breakup (sounded like September wasn't happening). Despite this I ended up making out with her.

We went to dinner 'just as friends' in September. I walked her back to hers. I wasn't intending on 'trying' anything but she invited me in and showed me the new place etc. We ended up in the bed room and as I was walking out of politeness she asked if I was 'staying'. I told her I need to go the toilet. When I came back she was in the kitchen and told me there were other places to sleep (suddenly changed her mind?). The next morning she actually texted me saying I could 'leave without waking her' if I wanted to which was really kind of awkward..

A few days later I pulled her on this topic because I genuinely didn't understand the situation at all and she told me she felt nothing for me. So I'd figured screw it, I'll move on.

We were out one night in a group and it was just us two sitting at the table while others were getting drinks. She said 'this is awkward' ans I asked her why? I was trying to be the good guy and told her that whatever happened between us was gone and that I had a good time but I hold no grudges. She asked if I still liked her and I said 'no'. I think I did it as a defense mechanism, I think I did it to be adult. We have similar friends -- I don't want them to 'pick sides' etc as she is a lovely girl and I think that what happened between us shouldn't impact social groups. She started crying and ran off with one of her friends. When she came back I asked if she wanted to go outside and talk about it.

So we went outside and she said she was upset because I said I didn't like her anymore. I'm not sure if she just wanted the attention or not. I told her (I was a little drunk) that I still liked her and i didn't mean to upset her. I was in an argument with her friend at the time (the one who she walked off with). Me and the friend are very tight (there's history there..) and we go to dinner a couple of times a month, catch up and are very tight. But friend's fight. In fact we were arguing because this girl doesn't respect her (the girl I like) and I said she should be nice to her. Anywho. We were kissing on the staircase, talking about getting back together and then her friend came up and had a go at me. An hour later she text me telling me her friendship with the girl was more important than a relationship with me. I figured it wasn't the real reason, partiuclarly as other girl was not making her choose, and I certainly wasn't.

So now I'm confused. What's the real reason? Well I said she told me in August I made her think her friend's weren't there for me. They weren't. At the time I took the blame for something her friend was spreading about her. I know it sounds mad, but I figured I was already in the 'hole' at the time and one more couldn't hurt. I was kind of in a crappy place -- would I tell her one of her closest friends was horrible to her or would I lie and say it never happened and that I only said it drunk to make her upset.

A couple of weeks ago, she found out that I lied to make her feel better. And things seemed to change again. She talks to me a lot again, she wants to go to the gym together, grab a drink, etc. The difference in conversation is quite shocking. I know the amount of xs in a message usually means jack all. But I used to get 2 or 3. Now I get 4-5. It sounds silly but it's at the end of every message now, almost as if she is trying to show interest. Or am I overanalysing? She did tell me that when she thought I betrayed her was the moment she stopped caring what I thought of her, but I can't help feel it's back. Then last week, she drunkenly told a friend of mine that she likes to make me jealous and watch me (she was flirting with some guy all night on our night out). It pissed me off quite badly and I told her this, and didn't speak to her for a few days.

She told me today that she missed talking to me and she said she 'does like me'. Does that mean she likes me as a friend or does she actually like me?

I'm so sorry for all this long message, but I had to get this off my chest. Does she just like attention? People make fun of her a bit based on her weight (her appearance is no odds to me) so I am wondering if she just appreciates some interest.

My brain says leave it she has done too many bad things:

* Initiate a relationship then blame you for being too 'boyfriendy' even though you agreed to wait.
* Tell you she feels nothing for you but kiss you
* Get upset when you say you are over her, but tell you an hour later after agreeing to get back her friend (who *****es about her *constantly*) is more important.
* Likes making you jealous.

Just reading that, she sounds immature. But I don't quite know anyone like her -- she's unique and has this weird charm. And we can't go a day without talking.

Part of me just thinks she's very insecure -- she never speaks up about things, which is kind of a pain.

What do I do?
I think that last bit is key buddy... If you really think there is no-one else like her and that she is unique you should already know what needs to happen dude.

Obviously there's a lot to sort out, but if that's how you feel about her you just need to battle through.
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