I have been friends with a guy for a year. He was dating a girl on and off for a year until the Summer and she dumped him and was quite horrible to him when they were dating. I know when we have all been out in a group he will drop hints and flirt with me. Last night it was just me and him left drinking as our friends called it a night and I said I wanted to stay out so he stayed out too. We stayed out for 3 hours on our own. I think he is a nice guy and would have kissed him but I didn't as I didn't want to mess him around. I'm sure he is interested. I am not sure what to do as he said he still has feelings for this girl and I don't want to be a rebound.
Turn on thread page Beta
Did I do the right thing? watch
- Thread Starter
- 17-11-2013 19:25
- 18-11-2013 13:20
I think it was good that you didn't kiss him. He clearly is still thinking about this other girl, and it'd be better to start your relationship on secure foundations of his own choices, rather than him being with you to get back at her, or just use you as a rebound like you said.
I think you should just be his friend. You said that you were friends to start with, so just be supportive of his dilemma. He's clearly lost at the moment and he just needs someone who's seeing straight to give him some guidance on what to do.
Allow him to end his relationship with this other girl on his own terms if he does, (as in getting over her because she broke up with him in the first place) and just wait for a while for his head to clear until you think about being with him. He'll need time before he starts to date considering he is on and off with this girl, so maybe even when he said it's over, at the back of his mind he's maybe thinking that they'll get together again because of the nature of their relationship in the past.
Just be careful when thinking about being together to save the heartbreak. Oh and find out why their relationship is on and off. Is it because of him being unsure or her? I think that's important too.
Good luck and take care!
Btw you said she was horrible to him. Is this from what you've seen yourself or what he has told you? Make sure you know both sides so no surprises come your way.