Best comebacks to a teacher? Watch

DouglasAdams
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Please post the greatest comebacks/clever insults you've ever seen to a teacher.

2 personal anecdotes; German teacher once flew into a huge rage with us. She being German, I said: "See what happens when you mention the war..."

My maths teacher once said: "Someone help me solve this fraction; I'm allergic to fractions." I replied: "Probably quite stupid to become a maths teacher then..."
Hope you liked them Now your own?
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ChiefNinja
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(Original post by DouglasAdams)
Please post the greatest comebacks/clever insults you've ever seen to a teacher.

2 personal anecdotes; German teacher once flew into a huge rage with us. She being German, I said: "See what happens when you mention the war..."

My maths teacher once said: "Someone help me solve this fraction; I'm allergic to fractions." I replied: "Probably quite stupid to become a maths teacher then..."
Hope you liked them Now your own?


EDIT: This one is applicable too.

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Flauta
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Wouldn't really describe your first one as "best", it was a bit crap and unimaginative in all honesty.
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Scoobster
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You're as funny as the clap.
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Changing Skies
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A gay teacher at my sixth form was giving rulers out, and I can't remember the exact details, but he mentioned the fact that one was bent when giving it to a student, to which the student replied, "A bit like you then, sir." Thought it was quite funny as he said he didn't even mean to say it

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PeaceTreaty
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(Original post by DouglasAdams)
2 personal anecdotes; German teacher once flew into a huge rage with us. She being German, I said: "See what happens when you mention the war..."

My maths teacher once said: "Someone help me solve this fraction; I'm allergic to fractions." I replied: "Probably quite stupid to become a maths teacher then..."
Hope you liked them Now your own?
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAhaHAHA HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA HAHA

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moonziggy
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My psychology teacher once told us that her fellow staff members refer to her as tinker bell sometimes, I said 'Ha how'd they come up with that, you're more like Shrek' I've had better comebacks, this is the only one I could think of atm
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Mindless Behavior
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This is the stupidest rather than the best but a friend of mine was arguing with a teacher and the teacher said to her 'You're digging yourself into a hole' and my friend replied with 'Well don't give me a shovel'. The teacher was so confused that he just stopped
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DouglasAdams
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(Original post by PeaceTreaty)
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA HAHA

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Bloody hell, I laughed at that
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Obiejess
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(Original post by DouglasAdams)
Bloody hell, I laughed at that
Same

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Carrot_Cake_13
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Gawd me too I laughed out really loud >_<
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Autistic Merit
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I told my art teacher to go **** himself.
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hskjlclcn
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One of the more awkward threads on TSR .. and that's saying something
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Autistic Merit
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(Original post by DouglasAdams)
Please post the greatest comebacks/clever insults you've ever seen to a teacher.

2 personal anecdotes; German teacher once flew into a huge rage with us. She being German, I said: "See what happens when you mention the war..."

My maths teacher once said: "Someone help me solve this fraction; I'm allergic to fractions." I replied: "Probably quite stupid to become a maths teacher then..."
Hope you liked them Now your own?
Anyone else see the irony in the fact that OP's username is inspired by a literary genius?
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DouglasAdams
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(Original post by Autistic Merit)
Anyone else see the irony in the fact that OP's username is inspired by a literary genius?
The ships hung in the sky in much the same way bricks don't.
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Autistic Merit
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Why do people think it's so cool to be disrespectful to someone who is trying to give them an education?
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Yakob
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Teacher: Get out!

Student: You get out.
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PeaceTreaty
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(Original post by Autistic Merit)
I told my art teacher to go **** himself.
(Original post by Autistic Merit)
Why do people think it's so cool to be disrespectful to someone who is trying to give them an education?
...
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It's****ingWOODY
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This was actually to one of my college tutors, but it still counts I think. He rolled in on our first lesson on a Monday morning looking like death.

My mate: Busy weekend?
Tutor: Oh yes. I won't go into detail, but it was a very dirty weekend *winks*
Me: So you'll be writing on the whiteboard with your other hand today, then?
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Scienceisgood
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Chemistry Teacher:

Balance this equation C6H12O6 + _O2 --> ??????

Me:
Done, now answer me this.

What happens when you react Flourine, Uranium, Carbon and Potassium?

Teacher:

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