..... Watch

Kellyxo
Badges: 9
Rep:
?
#1
Report Thread starter 5 years ago
#1
...
0
reply
littlesmurfette
Badges: 10
Rep:
?
#2
Report 5 years ago
#2
Feelings/love don't just stop overnight. I honestly think you are best letting him go and finding someone else- you may have to face the fact that the feeling you have for him won't go away until you do. I know it was like that for me- I broke up with an ex who I thought was the "one" and I pined after him for nearly 3 years after the break up and then when I met my current boyfriend the feelings just disappeared.

Think of it as a hole that needs filling. Doesn't have to be that one person and to be honest it sounds like he has moved on- you tried giving it another go and it didn't work out. It is doubtful it will be any different this time round- and, sorry to say it, it might be too late anyway.
1
reply
B-Man.
Badges: 13
Rep:
?
#3
Report 5 years ago
#3
We've all been there. You've convinced yourself that he is 'unique.' The best looking, funny, moral and loving guy. The reason you are finding it hard to move on is because you don't have someone else that you can imagine your future with. I recommend picturing and thinking about or actually find another guy. It will be a lot easier to move on and to realise that there are guys who are much better than him out there. He cheated - he isn't a good boyfriend. He probably recognises that starting a new relationship enables someone to move on. You need to do the same. Think about it, doesn't every new relationship feel as though it is the best relationship you have ever had?
0
reply
ilex_noemi
Badges: 10
Rep:
?
#4
Report 5 years ago
#4
I know it is hard, but you need to move on.
My ex cheated on me and I stayed with him. It just caused so many arguments because I never really forgave him for it yet I still wanted to be with him. The trust will be totally gone. Honestly, it is not worth staying in a relationship with someone you don't trust.

It took me a few months to get over him, it was really hard, I did spend a lot of nights crying and missing him. To help, I suggest you go out with friends and try to find a hobby to keep busy with for whenever you are alone as that is when you will start thinking of him. The first 3 months are the hardest but things get much better and you will realise that you should never have been put through that. Please do not stay with him.
0
reply
Kellyxo
Badges: 9
Rep:
?
#5
Report Thread starter 5 years ago
#5
(Original post by xXHolly_90Xx)
I know it is hard, but you need to move on.
My ex cheated on me and I stayed with him. It just caused so many arguments because I never really forgave him for it yet I still wanted to be with him. The trust will be totally gone. Honestly, it is not worth staying in a relationship with someone you don't trust.

It took me a few months to get over him, it was really hard, I did spend a lot of nights crying and missing him. To help, I suggest you go out with friends and try to find a hobby to keep busy with for whenever you are alone as that is when you will start thinking of him. The first 3 months are the hardest but things get much better and you will realise that you should never have been put through that. Please do not stay with him.
I'm not planning on staying with him, he doesn't want me back. But that's what I can't understand, why was I the one willing to forgive him but he couldn't forgive himself?
0
reply
Kellyxo
Badges: 9
Rep:
?
#6
Report Thread starter 5 years ago
#6
(Original post by littlesmurfette)
Feelings/love don't just stop overnight. I honestly think you are best letting him go and finding someone else- you may have to face the fact that the feeling you have for him won't go away until you do. I know it was like that for me- I broke up with an ex who I thought was the "one" and I pined after him for nearly 3 years after the break up and then when I met my current boyfriend the feelings just disappeared.

Think of it as a hole that needs filling. Doesn't have to be that one person and to be honest it sounds like he has moved on- you tried giving it another go and it didn't work out. It is doubtful it will be any different this time round- and, sorry to say it, it might be too late anyway.

You say feelings of love don't just go away, so how did his feelings of love just go away for me?
0
reply
Kellyxo
Badges: 9
Rep:
?
#7
Report Thread starter 5 years ago
#7
(Original post by B-Man.)
We've all been there. You've convinced yourself that he is 'unique.' The best looking, funny, moral and loving guy. The reason you are finding it hard to move on is because you don't have someone else that you can imagine your future with. I recommend picturing and thinking about or actually find another guy. It will be a lot easier to move on and to realise that there are guys who are much better than him out there. He cheated - he isn't a good boyfriend. He probably recognises that starting a new relationship enables someone to move on. You need to do the same. Think about it, doesn't every new relationship feel as though it is the best relationship you have ever had?
But that's the thing, other guys have asked to meet up with me and at the moment it feels like I'd rather be with him, or be alone. A guy stayed over mine the other night and all I could think about was my ex. It just hurts because it seems like his way of getting over things is just to ignore everything we'd been through. We never really got a chance to have our own time, it always seemed to revolve around us arguing with people who didn't want us to be together. It just sucks so bad.
0
reply
DorianGrayism
Badges: 19
Rep:
?
#8
Report 5 years ago
#8
(Original post by Kellyxo)
Basically, we haven'….. confused and so hurt.
So what magical formula do you want people here to provide for you?

The problem is you.

You keep on taking him back. You keep on telling yourself that there is something brilliant about this moron that no one else has .

The only reason why you are confused is because you are over thinking it. Move on. There are millions of cheaters, players and etc that are just like him. You can find another one to moan about.
1
reply
Kellyxo
Badges: 9
Rep:
?
#9
Report Thread starter 5 years ago
#9
(Original post by DorianGrayism)
So what magical formula do you want people here to provide for you?

The problem is you.

You keep on taking him back. You keep on telling yourself that there is something brilliant about this moron that no one else has .

The only reason why you are confused is because you are over thinking it.
I probably am the problem. I was the reason to why he probably felt he needed to go and get attention elsewhere, because I turned into a moody argumentative idio, not the girl he fell in love with in the first place.. this is why I can't stop overthinking it, because I know if I hadn't have pushed him so far, we wouldn't be in the position we are in now
0
reply
It's****ingWOODY
  • Political Ambassador
Badges: 20
Rep:
?
#10
Report 5 years ago
#10
Feelings for someone won't just go away at the click of your fingers, but have some self respect. Nobody likes a doormat, and by taking back a cheating partner you're putting yourself firmly in that category. Be strong, ride it out, and eventually you'll move on. The relationship didn't last that long anyway, so I'd give it a few months and you'll find yourself getting over it.
0
reply
Kellyxo
Badges: 9
Rep:
?
#11
Report Thread starter 5 years ago
#11
(Original post by WoodyMKC)
Feelings for someone won't just go away at the click of your fingers, but have some self respect. Nobody likes a doormat, and by taking back a cheating partner you're putting yourself firmly in that category. Be strong, ride it out, and eventually you'll move on. The relationship didn't last that long anyway, so I'd give it a few months and you'll find yourself getting over it.

So why have his feelings gone away at the click of the fingers? I think that's the hardest part to understand and why it's not helping me move on, I keep thinking about how his feelings would just go away like that. I get I pushed him away, but not to the point where he had no feelings whatsoever. I know it didn't last long, but it's hard.. he is my first love.
0
reply
DorianGrayism
Badges: 19
Rep:
?
#12
Report 5 years ago
#12
(Original post by Kellyxo)
I probably am the problem. I was the reason to why he probably felt he needed to go and get attention elsewhere, because I was turned into a moody argumentative idiot.. this is why I can't stop overthinking it, because I know if I hadn't have pushed him so far, we wouldn't be in the position we are in now
There is no such thing as pushing someone away to cheat. It doesn't exist.

It is a made up fantasy that people use to justify that they were horny and wanted to have sex with someone else.

He will cheat on you again and again and again.

You don't understand that girls like you are easy pickings. The ones that blame themselves are the ones that are the best to manipulate. He can have an argument with you and then have sex with someone else.

What do you think he is going to provide that no one else can?
0
reply
Kellyxo
Badges: 9
Rep:
?
#13
Report Thread starter 5 years ago
#13
(Original post by DorianGrayism)
There is no such thing as pushing someone away to cheat. It doesn't exist.

It is a made up fantasy that people use to justify that they were horny and wanted to have sex with someone else.

He will cheat on you again and again and again.

You don't understand that girls like you are easy pickings. The ones that blame themselves are the ones that are the best to manipulate. He can have an argument with you and then have sex with someone else.

What do you think he is going to provide that no one else can?
Honestly, I did push him away. I did it to my previous ex, I argued with him all the time- but fortunately I ended things before he did go and do something like my recent ex did. But that's the thing, he obviously cheated because his feelings weren't as strong, because we went four months apart and he didn't cheat on me then and I'm pretty sure he would've been quite horny without sex for four months. He's not a bad guy, I just pushed him to the point I guess.
I don't know, when I was with him it felt like nothing else mattered, he made me stupidly happy, he's the first person I'd ever opened up to, planned a future with, the first person I really felt a spark there with, I can't imagine I'll ever feel comfortable around anybody else. I really don't.
0
reply
DorianGrayism
Badges: 19
Rep:
?
#14
Report 5 years ago
#14
(Original post by Kellyxo)
Honestly, I did push him away. I did it to my previous ex, I argued with him all the time- but fortunately I ended things before he did go and do something like my recent ex did. But that's the thing, he obviously cheated because his feelings weren't as strong, because we went four months apart and he didn't cheat on me then and I'm pretty sure he would've been quite horny without sex for four months. He's not a bad guy, I just pushed him to the point I guess.
I don't know, when I was with him it felt like nothing else mattered, he made me stupidly happy, he's the first person I'd ever opened up to, planned a future with, the first person I really felt a spark there with, I can't imagine I'll ever feel comfortable around anybody else. I really don't.
You just didn't find out if he cheated. I am fairly sure he would have.

Yes, well, I am sure he is not that unique. There are millions of other men throughout the country.
0
reply
It's****ingWOODY
  • Political Ambassador
Badges: 20
Rep:
?
#15
Report 5 years ago
#15
(Original post by Kellyxo)
So why have his feelings gone away at the click of the fingers? I think that's the hardest part to understand and why it's not helping me move on, I keep thinking about how his feelings would just go away like that. I get I pushed him away, but not to the point where he had no feelings whatsoever. I know it didn't last long, but it's hard.. he is my first love.
You didn't push him to cheat. There is no excuse for cheating.
Not only did he cheat, he also appears to have lost interest altogether. There is no future in this relationship, that's the harsh reality. Seriously, the best thing you can do is give yourself a slap, tell yourself to stop moping and make a conscious effort to start moving on. You'll achieve nothing by not doing so.
0
reply
Kellyxo
Badges: 9
Rep:
?
#16
Report Thread starter 5 years ago
#16
(Original post by DorianGrayism)
You just didn't find out if he cheated. I am fairly sure he would have.

Yes, well, I am sure he is not that unique. There are millions of other men throughout the country.
Right, so he'd be honest about cheating on me when he did, but then not be truthful about it all if he cheated whilst he was away? We were different when we were apart, both head over hills in love. I knew the love wasn't there anymore when he cheated
0
reply
DorianGrayism
Badges: 19
Rep:
?
#17
Report 5 years ago
#17
(Original post by Kellyxo)
Right, so he'd be honest about cheating on me when he did, but then not be truthful about it all if he cheated whilst he was away? We were different when we were apart, both head over hills in love. I knew the love wasn't there anymore when he cheated
Sure why wouldn't he lie?

He isn't going to say I have been cheating all the time when I was with you. That would make him sound even more dumb than he already is.

Well, if the love isn't there anymore, then stop clinging on and move on.
0
reply
Kellyxo
Badges: 9
Rep:
?
#18
Report Thread starter 5 years ago
#18
(Original post by DorianGrayism)
Sure why wouldn't he lie?

He isn't going to say I have been cheating all the time when I was with you. That would make him sound even more dumb than he already is.

Well, if the love isn't there anymore, then stop clinging on and move on.
You don't have to be rude about it. I will move on eventually, it's going to take time considering he was my first love. He's agreed that we can be friends and meet up as friends in a week or so, I'm worried though because our 'friendship' started off as friends with benefits, so there's probably always going to be sexual chemistry there.
0
reply
DorianGrayism
Badges: 19
Rep:
?
#19
Report 5 years ago
#19
(Original post by Kellyxo)
You don't have to be rude about it. I will move on eventually, it's going to take time considering he was my first love. He's agreed that we can be friends and meet up as friends in a week or so, I'm worried though because our 'friendship' started off as friends with benefits, so there's probably always going to be sexual chemistry there.
I don't see anything rude. I am blunt. Not rude.

Don't meet up with him. Unless you cut off all contact forever, then you are never going to get over him till he cheats on you a 10th time.

Well, not cut all contact off forever. Maybe 10 years.
0
reply
Jadee92
Badges: 0
Rep:
?
#20
Report 5 years ago
#20
HE cheated on YOU. You need to stop blaming yourself and beating yourself up about it! He was in the wrong. I'm sure you're much better than he deserves and if he's been able to move on that fast then he's not worth your time. I've been in a similar situation myself so I know that it's hard but honestly, once you've got through this stage, you'll kick yourself for getting this caught up over him. I hope you realise this soon
0
reply
X

Quick Reply

Attached files
Write a reply...
Reply
new posts
Latest
My Feed

See more of what you like on
The Student Room

You can personalise what you see on TSR. Tell us a little about yourself to get started.

Personalise

How did your AQA GCSE Physics Paper 1 go?

Loved the paper - Feeling positive (300)
31.06%
The paper was reasonable (389)
40.27%
Not feeling great about that exam... (156)
16.15%
It was TERRIBLE (121)
12.53%

Watched Threads

View All